Owls!

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Dr. Hodgins Jack,

I can't apologize enough for the lateness of this owl. I'm afraid I have no excuse, save that Hogwarts appears to make one extremely scatterbrained and in the chaos of the last few weeks I seem to have let a few of my marbles slip.

At any rate, do you still have any interest in the experiment we discussed at your Sorting? The House Elves assure me that should we need a pig they can provide one or even several for our purposes.

Sincerely,
Constable Benton Fraser



Lily,

Your friend Dr. Cox asked me to look into a certain matter for him. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions? Nothing too dramatic, I promise.

Ben



Phil,

I hope I'm not intruding, but I couldn't help but notice that you appeared to be in somewhat of a state during Professor Evans' Defense Against the Dark Arts class the other day.

I realize that you and I are not particularly close, but I thought I would offer my services, in case you need... well, any help. I know this kind of thing can be difficult to get through alone. Believe me, you don't have to be. Very often, the first step to helping yourself is admitting that you need help.

Sincerely,
Constable Benton Fraser

Attached to the note are several helpful pamphlets.

Comments

[buggy-genius.livejournal.com]

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you never caught butterflies as a kid? It's pretty much the same principle, look." He took one, waved it a few feet in front of him, wrapped part of it around his hand to trap the contents, and held it out to him. Inside, several flies were buzzing angrily. "See? You put them in jars and preserve them now. Try it."

[themountie.livejournal.com]

A furrow creased Fraser's brow. "Well... no. Not to my recollection, anyway." Was that something children often did? He hadn't had a very normal childhood. "We do have butterflies up in the Yukon, of course, but I don't remember ever trying to catch them. What purpose would that serve? To a child, I mean -- I certainly understand the purpose here."

As if to demonstrate that he did, in fact, understand, he picked up another of the nets and with one quick wave had a bundle of angrily buzzing flies in hand. He held it up to his face, peering at it with wide, curious eyes. "Ah." A strange smile quirked his lips. "Never mind, I think I understand."

He held out his net to Hodgins. "These are to be used in conjunction with the fly paper, then?"

[buggy-genius.livejournal.com]

Hodgins stared at Fraser for a few seconds with that "What the hell is wrong with you" look that was usually reserved for Zach. "Well, you look at them. You marvel at their tiny flying arthropod beauty, or you identify the species, or--look, it's a perfectly normal kid thing." He grinned to see Fraser getting the hang if it, though. "Yeah, just like that. The fly paper's more for beetles, honestly. Beetles, spiders, grasshoppers--even the ones that don't feed on the carcass can be crucial evidence."

[themountie.livejournal.com]

The words 'then why do they call it fly paper' were visibly lining themselves up on Fraser's tongue. He squinted at the paper strip, at the bug netting, opened his mouth to ask them... and decided to let it drop. The one bug-eyed (so to speak) stare was enough for one day, he thought. He settled for a quick smile and an "Ah. So it is."

Reaching back behind him, he grabbed for the bag containing Stinky. "And our, ah, new friend here? What will we be doing with him?"

[buggy-genius.livejournal.com]

"He's our control, so to speak. See, we leave him a little bit away. Over by that tree maybe." He pointed to one about thirty feet away, give or take. "Close enough that we can see him, but far enough out that he won't be immediately colonized by Fluffy's former pals. They'll probably be the ones to get there first. The ones that like fresh meat, anyway. See, some flies like fresly killed food, some like to wait until it's been tenderized a little. Or has openings leading to the gooey insides. Lemme give you a hand with that, Stinky's got to be heavy."

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Fraser had paused to listen to the explanation, but now he shook his head and waved Hodgins off with a smile. "Not at all." He hefted the carcass and stood, heading for the tree. "You know, I once tracked a suspect over 1700 kilometers of terrain, and I finally managed to corner him at the base of a waterfall up near Nunavut. But the problem was, you see, that all of the people involved in the case, that is everyone who could identify him, were back up by the outpost I'd started from. We weren't particularly close to any roads, and I didn't have any transport of my own, as I'd had to keep silent..." He set the pig down and grinned back at Hodgins. "It was an interesting journey."

Returning, he crouched back down by the older carcass and reached for another fly net. "To say nothing of hunting caribou, which of course requires a great deal of heavy lifting."

[buggy-genius.livejournal.com]

"Oh." Hodgins stared at Fraser for a while, trying to make sense of the story. The gist of it seemed to be that he could carry a pig with no assistance, so that was okay. "I could have helped though. Just so you know. I'm just as capable of carrying a dead pig as the next guy."

Defense of his masculinity attempted, Hodgins turned back to his equipment and the carcass. "Also, you always have to label your samples. Use as much detail as you can fit on the label, because they will question the shit out of you in court and try to trip you up. But as law enforcement, you probably know that. Want to move on to the maggots?"

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Fraser hadn't realized that Hodgins felt the need to defend his masculinity in the first place, so the look he gave him was slightly blank. "I never thought for a moment you weren't." And what might have been snarky and patronizing on anyone else was really very sincere on Fraser. He just tended to assume that people could do the things he could. He sometimes found himself unduly surprised when they couldn't just leap over walls or the like.

He sat back down, cross-legged, looking quite excited. "Oh, yes. Tell me about the maggots."

Again, it should be noted that he was being completely serious. Really.

[buggy-genius.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Good." Hodgins shrugged off the whole thing, satisfied. "Once you've collected the flies and beetles, you put them in these 'killing jars,' the ones with cottonballs soaked in ethyl acetate, you can start on the maggots. First, you have to note where the maggot mass is concentrated. You expect them in natural orifices, but they also tend to cluster in open wounds--stabs, gunshots, that sort of thing. Then, you look for eggs and cast-off pupae. Once you find the pupa casings, you know that the remains have been available for colonization for more than a day. Then, you collect the maggots. You'll be dividing them into thirds, basically: one-third goes in preservatives, one-third go in kill jars, and the last third you'll keep and rear to adulthood. Basically, you're tripling your chances of not screwing up the identification process. Still following?"