hh_mirror | Entries tagged with squibbait

molassesscat.livejournal.com

OOC: Kojiro's nemesis arrives...which makes sense if you're a denizen of IRC or vaguely aware of the strange things we talk about in there. Blame the spelling on one person. This app will be played by two people, though, one of which will admit to being unable to spell on the best of days. Note: Molasses Cat is not an ordinary cat and is using its vast mental powers to make the Dictaquill work. There is even more to Molasses Cat than meets the eye.

It oozed into the sorting room, filling a space roughly the size and shape of a large domestic cat. It purred, pleased with its surroundings, the jar it'd come out of still on its tail. Padding over to the table, leaving a trail of sticky, fragrant footprints behind. With a move that looked more like it was flowing back up into the jar and out again, onto the table this time. It walked over the paper there a few times before curling up, still purring, laying on the form. It looked ready to settle into a long nap, stretching and covering the whole table in a way familiar to all cats, a way that belied their true size and allowed them to fill any space available, no matter how roomy.

The purring eased away into silence broken occasionally by a sound that sounded something like a soft half-moaned mew and a squelch as the cat-creature sighed in its sleep.

In a sudden movement that somehow seemed slower as its body oozed to follow him, the cat rose and began cleaning its face and then its belly and tail, its leg shifting from third to fifth gear before it sat up and looked around itself, unblinking.

Only then did it seem to pay any attention to the papers it was sitting on. It meowed, stretching and yawning widely, padding over to a form that somehow was missed in its nap.

( Behold the greatness of the translation charm. )

d-mo-t-v8.livejournal.com

A rectangular object appears within the Sorting Room, floating before one of the walls. A black frame with an ever shifting array of images within. Words appear and disappear.

An image of character dressed in all black, full-masked helmet over his head, standing in water, pouring water from one pitcher to another. Under it, the words, "Sense, this image makes none."

The dictaquil waits, tapping on the paper under it. Another image solidified of a man running behind a woman with a sunset behind them, revealing only their black outlines. Under it, "Persistence. It's over, man. Let her go."

The quill tapped again, appearing to grow irritated. An image of vultures circling in the sky appeared. Under it, the legend, "Hope. May not be warranted at this point."

The quill wrote something of its own on the paper, perhaps freed by the same magic that allowed the Sorting Hat to rule the school. A crude drawing of a serving of french fries. Under it, the quill wrote, "Potential. Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up."

The image paused a moment, blank. Then, a room with a television and couch appeared. "Propaganda. What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared with what lies right to our face."

The quill drew a crude sketch of a mechanism. "Worth. Just because your necessary doesn't mean your important."

With that, the poster seemed to sigh and give up.

( Allow me to elucidate. )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____X_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____X______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____X______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____X________"

((OOC: Obviously squibbait ;) Also, most of the sayings are from Despair.com, though some are from Demotivationals.org (caution, a lot of these are NSFW), Motifake.com and some from random google image searches. None of them are original to me. Just so you know ;) ))

rstlsnight.livejournal.com

((Incarnations of Immortality squibbait…unless I’m seriously mistaken in my memory and this character actually does appear, but I don’t think so *grins* There are ~~eight~~ seven books and a lot of minor Incarnations/offices mentioned. I am, however, playing this as squibbait.

In the series, each Incarnation has a specific power and is supposed to be supreme in his or her bailiwick. Sleeps would, obviously, be sleep. Her power is used by reaching into her bag and tossing some 'sleep seed' at the other person. This is supposed to cause the person to fall asleep right away. [Obviously, I made this up ;)] Whether your character is affected or not is up to you.))

The figure that steps into the Sorting Room apparently from nowhere, just phasing into existence within the room, though for this room, that would be nothing out of the ordinary, was clothed in a long flowing hooded cloak of soft shades of off white. A bag hung from a rope-like belt at the figure’s waist. Even with the belt, it was difficult to figure if the person was male or female. Which ever they were, the thinness of their figure lent them an air of youth—if he was male, he was still growing, if she was female, she hadn’t fully developed.

A hand reached up and pushed back the hood, revealing an elfin face surrounded by a wave of amber colored hair. The features were far too delicate for most males, yet still within the realm of androgyny. Green eyes surveyed the room, darting from fixture to fixture as if trying to see something behind them, looking for something that may or may not be there. A closer look at the face would reveal a certain peakedness to it, a fine webbing of lines around eyes sunk too deep within the skull and seem to burn out from their cave with an almost feverish light. Irritation flickers over the features as the same hand pushes back the hair and then falls back to its post by the figure’s side.

The voice, when it reveals itself, clears all doubt of the creature’s gender: A lilting brogue that speaks of a magical island, roughened by the sea pounding against the rocks of its coast. Molly Malone would know that accent and it would make her homesick. “I was warned o’ your tricks, Ol’ Nick,” she said, trying to sound bold and confident, though it sounded more as if she’d been up far too long. There was more truth in that than in any other explanation.

The quill hovering above the table containing the applications finally catches her attention. “What magic is this?” she muses, crossing to the table. “Be it white or black and shall I be believin’ ye either way? Be ye one o’ the Devil’s own, why would ye be tellin’ me the truth. It be t’ yer benefit to be decievin’ me.”

( Sleeplessness is a desert without vegetation or inhabitants. ~Jessamyn West. )

I have read the

hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____Hypnos_______
I have read the

hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____Somnus______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___Sleep________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____________

“An’, I’ll not be signin’ that las’ one, ol’ Nick!”

ubergazebo.livejournal.com

Slow life of wood. Sap seeping through woodgrain and through cracks in paint. News from tree to tree in wind speaking of brothers slain. Gazebo, I, will stretch and move. Gazebo probes earth to taste what path leads to the brothers' resting ground. Another flavor there too, like truffles. Gazebo knows that is a love flavor.

Magic helps gazebo, me, to move. Proudly bedecked in flowers. Handsome and angry. That is me. Hear the voice magic gave me to speak without wind. I demand audience.

( Allow me to elucidate. )

"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG.

ubergazebo
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them.

ubergazebo
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch.

ubergazebo
One day, marmalade will rule the world.

ubergazebo"

apostrophe-m.livejournal.com

[[OOC: Missingno is a glitch in the first generation Pokemon games. What he does, if captured, is severely glitch and eventually crash the game. If desired by the mun, their character can be 'glitched' in some form or fashion. Use your imagination. ;) (Oh, and it'd only last as long as he/she/it's in the Sorting Room.)

Also, it duplicates the sixth item in your pocket infinitely, and if you WANT, you could replicate that, but honestly, I don't see how that's possible, even for Hogwarts.]]

What could only be described as a L-shaped block of glitchy pixels showed up in the Sorting Room. (Rumor flies that there are other forms of it but ~~the mun can't be arsed to use them all~~ this is his favored one.)

It looked around the room before spotting the application on the table. As it picked up the pen, the table under it started turning polkadotted.

"An application?#$@" It said in a garbled voice, sometimes interrupted by tics. (Well, the translation charm can only do so much.)

( Allow me to eluTW$^#%#Q%^cidate. (Yes, he's even glitching the application. )

"I have read the [info]hog$&#%&@#$^@warts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktas%&*#%^tic sorting community and RPG. ____Missingno________
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____Missingno_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___Missingno________.
One day, marma*$%*$%*#&%lade will rule the world. ____Missingno_________"

h1n1-oinker.livejournal.com

(( Public-service announcement: Crispy, aka Karasu-mun, would like us to know: "The virus originated in pigs but the swine flu we know is a mutation with part swine, part human and part fowl which is spread through human-to-human contact." Don't blame the piggies ... this squibbait app is for entertainment purposes only! ETA: Oh, the swine flu may have an effect on your character if you so choose. Just let me know in chat or OOC comment. For example, it may turn you into a pig, or give you a pig snout ... ))

The pandemic arrived at Hogwarts. It had heard that a bitchin' party was going on here. "Which way to the Little Green Apple?"

Its porcine bulk hovered, in defiance of aerodynamics and common sense, aloft by virtue of softly feathered wings.

( This little piggy went to market! This little piggy stayed home! This little piggy had roast beef! This little piggy had none! And this little piggy cried ... )

owlbeard.livejournal.com

There are six possiblities, six potential outcomes from one body. Each appears in turn, though with no particular logic or reason.

( Allow me to elucidate. )

"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______OB______
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____OB_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____OB______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______OB_______"

mrs-astral-sev.livejournal.com

((Yes, I did get Snape-mun's permission. I apologize to him in advance for what I am about to do.))

She had been on the computer, sitting in the Snape Fans chatroom, trying to explain about the last astral experience she'd had, when Master Sevvy had caned her until she'd screamed for release. The chat rooms were becoming difficult to moderate these days, and she suspected that most of those participating were trolls or mean girls who mocked the purity of her love for her astral husband.

Anyway, the kids would have to make their own dinner again tonight, because she could feel Master Sevvy calling to her. Her loins flooded with her desire, opening up like a flower after the rain, in anticipation of his harsh tenderness.

"Mom, we're gonna have to sell Sis's body for food," called Junior. "I hope that's OK."

She could hear Sis wailing in the background, clearly displeased by this notion.

"OK, but be nice to her," she called distractedly.

"Hey, I'm letting the bitch keep at least ten percent. That's better than she'd get with most pimps," Junior shouted back sullenly.

"Well, you kids have fun!" she called, and then got up and closed the bedroom door with a snap. Why her kids had to be so needy, she didn't understand.

Now then... She closed her eyes and tried to get into a meditative state.

As she journeyed onto the astral plane, she suddenly found herself not on her comfortable bed back home--the one she'd kicked her real physical husband out of months ago because unlike her sweet, darling Sevvykins, her real husband snored, farted and had bad breath. No, now she was lying on a bower of roses, breathing in the sweet perfume of their fragrance. The gentle sound of a Celtic harp played in the background, and if she sat up, she could stare out of the gazebo in which she found herself at a field full of row upon row of flowers. A unicorn gamboled nearby, and in the sky, the most perfect rainbow could be seen. A sonorous voice boomed out questions that she knew, instinctively, she must answer so that she could be with her darling, her best beloved, her Severus.

( Much NWS abuse of poor astral Snape follows. )

I have read the

hogwarts_hocus FAQ and realize it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Mrs. Snape
I have read the

hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one. Mrs. Snape
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Mrs. Snape
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Mrs. Snape

Current Mood: horny
Current Location: The Astral Sorting Room
Current Music: Something being played on a Celtic harp

prettydruggie.livejournal.com

Standing in the sorting room was a tall willowy looking creature. Long legs led from the ground up to a short skirt type binding of blue fabric around narrow hips, barely covering enough to be considered clothing. The expanse of skin from the low slung covering to shoulders was covered in a sheer gauze that left little, if anything, to the imagination. From the shoulders, down the back, hung a deep red cape that ended just below the skirt. Blonde hair flowed from the creature's head, ending even lower than the cape, almost reaching the creature’s knees. The face, however, was the most striking feature. Bright blue eyes were framed with long thick lashes over a pert nose and full pouty lips. Were it not for the lack of any excess flesh on its chest, the creature could have easily passed for female. Even with that lack, it was difficult to believe.

He glanced around the room, curious and amused. "This does not look like Meiou High School," he said, his voice lilting. After a slight pause, he smiled, an almost beatific expression. "Perhaps I am not that far off."

He sashayed forward, his hips swinging gently, femininely, as he did. "State your name," he heard a disembodied voice demand.

He laughed, a bubbling sound. "I am Seimigaku, leader of the Yakubutsuranyou gang in the Seiyaku region of the Makai," he replied, his chin lifted with pride. "Name your pleasure and I will supply it." Then, the paper on the table in front of him caught his eye as the quill hovering over it wrote out his words.

( Amused, he continued with the application. )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______Seimigaku______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____Seimigaku_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____Seimigaku_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____Seimigaku________"

sparklechip.livejournal.com

((approved by other DN muns))

Now, there had to be better ways to go, but really, what were they? Cozy room, TV, fulfilling a purpose. Yep, nice life. Now, what have we here? Hmmm...

( Crunchy, not stale. )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___SC_________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ______SC_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____SC_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____SC________"

dragonridersex.livejournal.com

Squibbait: Weyrleader S'ex of Bendover Weyr

( Never fear, S'ex is here! )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____S'ex___
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____S'ex__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____S'ex___.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____S'ex___"

onlyoncebefore.livejournal.com

A guy with the most fabulous mullet has just appeared in the Sorting Room. He doesn't seem at all surprised to be there.

"People of Hogwarts!" he called out. "I come from the future."

( Push it to the limit. )

undeadsparkle.livejournal.com

Kahsaandrah Sakura Sylverfyre appeared in the Sorting Room amidst a cloud of golden sparkles. She looked around with a demure and yet sassy look on her face. ~~What was left of her face, anyway. The skin on her lower jaw was long since rotted away.~~ She was wearing a low-cut red robe of the finest silk ~~also rotted through in places, and strategically cut in others~~ and had long, shining pale hair ~~though it might have been mouse-brown back when she was still alive.~~ She spied a table with her indigo orbs and wafted gracefully over to it. She picked up a parchment on it ~~and assumed that it was the start of a quest that would give her XP and hopefully the reward of a skimpier robe that somehow gave her more armor~~ skimmed the writing, and sighed theatrically. "What is this?" she asked, her voice like music ~~if it was played on a violin with some strings cut.~~ "Is this some kind of joke?" She folded her arms and lifted her chin in a haughty manner and waited for an answer. When none come, she frowned and looked back at the parchment.

"Fine, then, I'll play along." She picked up a nearby quill with her delicate, long-fingered hands ~~which plainly showed bone in places~~ and began to write her answers out. She spoke the answers she wrote as well, because who didn't want to hear the sound of her beautiful musical voice that was capable of charming animals of the forest over to her? The truth was, she had a tendency of enjoying the sound of her own voice while questing and even the peaceful animals of Tirisfal Glades were anxious to try and take her out for the good of all involved.

( Of course you'd be interested in what she has to say! )

She sighed again and twirled a lock of shining pale hair around her finger. "Now what happens?" she asked no one in particular. The lock of hair came loose, and she shook it to the floor with a completely oblivious look on her face.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. KSS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. KSS
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. KSS
One day, marmalade will rule the world. KSS"

Current Mood: quixotic
Current Music: "My Immortal," Evanescence

squeeoverme.livejournal.com

(( Long-promised, rather late, but timely, no? Quindar's PB is Kevin Zegers. This app truly is a joint effort. Kisses to all my collaborators. ))

He's the kind of guy who only comes along once a week, or never, depending on your criteria for actual physical proximity. He'll beam his way into your heart, and I'd say real men can't do this, but he's a real man, so clearly they can. He's the kind of real man who eats quiche.

His name is Quindar Ventibuck. (Oh...) An improbable name for an improbable man. He's what they call a 'special person'. So special a whole different set of Olympic Games had to be set up for him and his kind, because it just wasn't fair to pit them against the normal athletes. But you won't find Quindar performing that kind of pole-jump. He's laying low. He's got a mission.

A mission of dire importance. He's driven. You can see it in his eyes, those soulful basset-hound eyes of his, languid yet possessed of a unique fire. You want him to save you. You want him to destroy you. You want to save him from himself. He'll give you coupons for all these things.

He'll take you to a seedy dive where you'll talk about top-secret stuff. Then he'll take you to his sparely furnished studio loft where you'll talk about his inner pain. All night long he'll make your eyes dance and your smile sparkle. In the morning you'll cook together, the way lovers do. Emboldened by his shy compliments, you'll shoot him a casual hip-bump that somehow doesn't manage to land you on the floor or send you careening into the oven door, because everything he touches is transmuted to pure sexiness and that includes you. He'll turn to you and give you the smile that launched a thousand squees ... and then skewer you in the heart with a meat fork. After that you'll be filet de fangirl, but hey, he did tell you that you looked so good he could eat you alive.

And now, for no good reason at all, he's at Hogwarts!

( The boy with the thorn in his side / Behind the hatred there lies / A murderous desire for love )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. too sexy for your application
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. too emo to sign this.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. stop trying to distract me from my Herbal Essences time.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. wouldn't you like to smear marmalade on my pecs? too bad, you can't"

Current Location: your heart, and also the Sorting Room
Current Music: The Smiths, "The Boy With the Thorn in His Side"

spiritofkitties.livejournal.com

( Is it Caturday? )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Spirit of Cat Macros
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Spirit of Cat Macros
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Spirit of Cat Macros
One day, ~~marmalade~~ cats will rule the world. Spirit of Cat Macros"

banditlou.livejournal.com

...
Application for Bandit Lou, Defender of the Royal Historical Society!!! You heard me!

( ''But as Yuuri is not just my friend but the human I am going to marry someday, if he doesn't get himself killed first when a bandit declares to him, 'Yuuri, unless you tell me the last ten Maous of Shin Makoku, in order, I will turn you over the spit for I am Bandit Lou, Defender of The Royal Historical Society.' And Yuuri won't answer, or if he does he pronounces Queen Yukari von Walde as You Curry, and thus is spitted!'' -- Wolfram von Bielefeld, in the Hufflepuff common room, some time last week or so )