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hh_mirror((For those who read Spider-Girl, this is Mayday shortly after issue #100, but well before Amazing Spider-Girl #1. She hasn't necessarily gotten into the idea of hanging up the webs yet, but she's already had her near-death experience. Even though they're from alternate timelines, I've gotten Eddie Brock-mun's permission to app as Mayday.))
The door to the Sorting Room is kicked open, and a teenage girl slowly makes her way in, carrying a ridiculous stack of items in her arms. There's at least a dozen textbooks and research books, a couple notebooks, two boxes of cookies, and, balanced precariously on top, a plate of nachos.
"Okay, guys, settle down, I've got--" She stops suddenly, and peers around the stack, taking in her surroundings with shock. It's obvious she didn't mean to come here.
She whirls as the door slams shut behind her, and the plate of nachos slides off of the stack. In one fluid move, she shifts the stack to her left hand, spins, crouches and catches the plate neatly before it hits the floor in her right hand, balancing everything else with her left.
Recovering, she straightens up, carefully setting the stack down and then placing the nachos on top of it. "Courtney? Davida? Jimmy, if this is one of your practical jokes, you're going to be wearing the nachos!" No one replies.
She looks around again, her expression thoughtful as if she's expecting to see or hear or feel something. Whennothing sets off her spider-sense she fails to pick up whatever she's looking for, she shakes it off and finally notices the application form.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Mozzarella. It's great on pizza, but sliced mozzarella is even better on sandwiches. Nacho cheese is a close second, though."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Neither. Killing Barney wouldn't work, they'd just put someone else in that suit to warp my baby brother Ben's mind - and Mom and Dad instituted a no-Barney policy long before he was born. As for Carrottop, well, Mom already called dibs on him years ago. She said something about him being an insult to redheads everywhere. I've got to respect that."
3. What time is it where you are?
"No idea. My watch says 3:45, but that's Queens time. I'd have to know where I am now to answer that."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
May reads the question and bursts out laughing. "I don't think he would be up for sexual harassment if he came back from the dead. Assuming he came back normal and not as a zombie." She makes a face. "Oh, I so didn't need that mental image. Ow."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Why bartend in the dark? Wouldn't that lead to some really random concoctions if I couldn't see the bottles? Ignoring the fact that I can't even serve alcohol legally... Tangled Web. Lame, I know, but that's the best thing I can come up withand it would make Dad twitch."
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Fred or George? I thought Harry liked girls. Did I miss something?" She thinks for a second. "Geez, the only myth I can think of involving twins is Romulus and Remus, and that one didn't end well. Which only proves I'm really going to need to study for my Literature final.
"I guess it's really up to Harry, although he might want to steer clear of older guys in general. He should probably go with the one who isn't a criminal stalker, completely oblivious, a total player, in love with his best friend, a bigot, a lying coward..." She trails off, realizing she's ticking off personal experiences on her fingers. "Okay, given my history with guys, I'm not the person to ask. Whoever he wants to marry."
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Let me guess, you work as a forensic scientist for the NYPD and my Uncle Phil thinks your desk is the Valley of Paperwork He Doesn't Want to Do." She pauses. "No, that theory only works if you're my Dad. Maybe there's some sort of evil plot to make paperwork self-replicating and it's finally reached your desk? I think there was some supervillain who tried that years ago. I'll have to ask."
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
She's a bit miffed at the question, but thinks about it for a momentsince most of her answer would involve web-swinging if it wasn't for the secret identity thing. "I'm pretty good at gymnastics and basketball - I had the slam dunk record for the girls' team at Midtown even before... uh, before things got weird." That one's getting too close to home, so she moves on. "I help take care of Ben on a daily basis, and he was a handful even before he started crawling. I actually managed to help a friend get out of an abusive relationship - although that was up to her in the end. I've broken up a couple of jock fights usually when Moose got overprotective about Courtney before they could actually start. I'm pretty good at math. And I make really good sandwiches."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Bribes? Okay, this is getting weirder by the minute. She looks around, wondering if it's a joke. Probably not, with her luck.
"I don't have much on me. I wasn't planning on this." She digs through her backpack and pockets and retrieves several items: an unopened Snickers bar, a bunch of pens and pencils, about $15.34 in change, a still-sealed bottle of Coke, and a pair of gold hoop earrings (she'd been wondering where those were).
She looks at the spread, and it's pretty obvious that her offerings aren't that impressive. "Right now, that's all I've got. If you want something else, we can work something outand I can probably ask Normie for a favor provided it's legit. I guess that's everything - oh, yeah."
She holds up the plate. "Nachos?"
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __MP_________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___MP________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___MP________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____MP_______
The door to the Sorting Room is kicked open, and a teenage girl slowly makes her way in, carrying a ridiculous stack of items in her arms. There's at least a dozen textbooks and research books, a couple notebooks, two boxes of cookies, and, balanced precariously on top, a plate of nachos.
"Okay, guys, settle down, I've got--" She stops suddenly, and peers around the stack, taking in her surroundings with shock. It's obvious she didn't mean to come here.
She whirls as the door slams shut behind her, and the plate of nachos slides off of the stack. In one fluid move, she shifts the stack to her left hand, spins, crouches and catches the plate neatly before it hits the floor in her right hand, balancing everything else with her left.
Recovering, she straightens up, carefully setting the stack down and then placing the nachos on top of it. "Courtney? Davida? Jimmy, if this is one of your practical jokes, you're going to be wearing the nachos!" No one replies.
She looks around again, her expression thoughtful as if she's expecting to see or hear or feel something. When
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Mozzarella. It's great on pizza, but sliced mozzarella is even better on sandwiches. Nacho cheese is a close second, though."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Neither. Killing Barney wouldn't work, they'd just put someone else in that suit to warp my baby brother Ben's mind - and Mom and Dad instituted a no-Barney policy long before he was born. As for Carrottop, well, Mom already called dibs on him years ago. She said something about him being an insult to redheads everywhere. I've got to respect that."
3. What time is it where you are?
"No idea. My watch says 3:45, but that's Queens time. I'd have to know where I am now to answer that."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
May reads the question and bursts out laughing. "I don't think he would be up for sexual harassment if he came back from the dead. Assuming he came back normal and not as a zombie." She makes a face. "Oh, I so didn't need that mental image. Ow."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Why bartend in the dark? Wouldn't that lead to some really random concoctions if I couldn't see the bottles? Ignoring the fact that I can't even serve alcohol legally... Tangled Web. Lame, I know, but that's the best thing I can come up with
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Fred or George? I thought Harry liked girls. Did I miss something?" She thinks for a second. "Geez, the only myth I can think of involving twins is Romulus and Remus, and that one didn't end well. Which only proves I'm really going to need to study for my Literature final.
"I guess it's really up to Harry, although he might want to steer clear of older guys in general. He should probably go with the one who isn't a criminal stalker, completely oblivious, a total player, in love with his best friend, a bigot, a lying coward..." She trails off, realizing she's ticking off personal experiences on her fingers. "Okay, given my history with guys, I'm not the person to ask. Whoever he wants to marry."
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Let me guess, you work as a forensic scientist for the NYPD and my Uncle Phil thinks your desk is the Valley of Paperwork He Doesn't Want to Do." She pauses. "No, that theory only works if you're my Dad. Maybe there's some sort of evil plot to make paperwork self-replicating and it's finally reached your desk? I think there was some supervillain who tried that years ago. I'll have to ask."
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
She's a bit miffed at the question, but thinks about it for a moment
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Bribes? Okay, this is getting weirder by the minute. She looks around, wondering if it's a joke. Probably not, with her luck.
"I don't have much on me. I wasn't planning on this." She digs through her backpack and pockets and retrieves several items: an unopened Snickers bar, a bunch of pens and pencils, about $15.34 in change, a still-sealed bottle of Coke, and a pair of gold hoop earrings (she'd been wondering where those were).
She looks at the spread, and it's pretty obvious that her offerings aren't that impressive. "Right now, that's all I've got. If you want something else, we can work something out
She holds up the plate. "Nachos?"
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __MP_________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___MP________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___MP________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____MP_______
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Vote: Gryffindor
Date: 2006-12-10 01:59 am (UTC)Also, lots of people in there like to wear spandex. Just a random observation implying absolutely nothing...
Re: Vote: Gryffindor
Date: 2006-12-10 02:32 am (UTC)She's really not that emo. Especially not compared to her Dad. Sure, she's screwed up a lot, but she's sixteen.
As for the random observation, she pretends not to catch it. No, it went right over her head. Perfectly innocent of any implications whatsoever. Nothing to see here.
She's very glad she zipped her backpack up again after pulling out bribes, though.