Application: May "Mayday" Parker (Marvel Comics, Spider-Girl)

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

((For those who read Spider-Girl, this is Mayday shortly after issue #100, but well before Amazing Spider-Girl #1. She hasn't necessarily gotten into the idea of hanging up the webs yet, but she's already had her near-death experience. Even though they're from alternate timelines, I've gotten Eddie Brock-mun's permission to app as Mayday.))

The door to the Sorting Room is kicked open, and a teenage girl slowly makes her way in, carrying a ridiculous stack of items in her arms. There's at least a dozen textbooks and research books, a couple notebooks, two boxes of cookies, and, balanced precariously on top, a plate of nachos.

"Okay, guys, settle down, I've got--" She stops suddenly, and peers around the stack, taking in her surroundings with shock. It's obvious she didn't mean to come here.

She whirls as the door slams shut behind her, and the plate of nachos slides off of the stack. In one fluid move, she shifts the stack to her left hand, spins, crouches and catches the plate neatly before it hits the floor in her right hand, balancing everything else with her left.

Recovering, she straightens up, carefully setting the stack down and then placing the nachos on top of it. "Courtney? Davida? Jimmy, if this is one of your practical jokes, you're going to be wearing the nachos!" No one replies.

She looks around again, her expression thoughtful as if she's expecting to see or hear or feel something. When nothing sets off her spider-sense she fails to pick up whatever she's looking for, she shakes it off and finally notices the application form.


1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"Mozzarella. It's great on pizza, but sliced mozzarella is even better on sandwiches. Nacho cheese is a close second, though."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"Neither. Killing Barney wouldn't work, they'd just put someone else in that suit to warp my baby brother Ben's mind - and Mom and Dad instituted a no-Barney policy long before he was born. As for Carrottop, well, Mom already called dibs on him years ago. She said something about him being an insult to redheads everywhere. I've got to respect that."

3. What time is it where you are?

"No idea. My watch says 3:45, but that's Queens time. I'd have to know where I am now to answer that."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

May reads the question and bursts out laughing. "I don't think he would be up for sexual harassment if he came back from the dead. Assuming he came back normal and not as a zombie." She makes a face. "Oh, I so didn't need that mental image. Ow."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"Why bartend in the dark? Wouldn't that lead to some really random concoctions if I couldn't see the bottles? Ignoring the fact that I can't even serve alcohol legally... Tangled Web. Lame, I know, but that's the best thing I can come up with and it would make Dad twitch."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

"Fred or George? I thought Harry liked girls. Did I miss something?" She thinks for a second. "Geez, the only myth I can think of involving twins is Romulus and Remus, and that one didn't end well. Which only proves I'm really going to need to study for my Literature final.

"I guess it's really up to Harry, although he might want to steer clear of older guys in general. He should probably go with the one who isn't a criminal stalker, completely oblivious, a total player, in love with his best friend, a bigot, a lying coward..." She trails off, realizing she's ticking off personal experiences on her fingers. "Okay, given my history with guys, I'm not the person to ask. Whoever he wants to marry."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"Let me guess, you work as a forensic scientist for the NYPD and my Uncle Phil thinks your desk is the Valley of Paperwork He Doesn't Want to Do." She pauses. "No, that theory only works if you're my Dad. Maybe there's some sort of evil plot to make paperwork self-replicating and it's finally reached your desk? I think there was some supervillain who tried that years ago. I'll have to ask."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

She's a bit miffed at the question, but thinks about it for a moment since most of her answer would involve web-swinging if it wasn't for the secret identity thing. "I'm pretty good at gymnastics and basketball - I had the slam dunk record for the girls' team at Midtown even before... uh, before things got weird." That one's getting too close to home, so she moves on. "I help take care of Ben on a daily basis, and he was a handful even before he started crawling. I actually managed to help a friend get out of an abusive relationship - although that was up to her in the end. I've broken up a couple of jock fights usually when Moose got overprotective about Courtney before they could actually start. I'm pretty good at math. And I make really good sandwiches."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Bribes? Okay, this is getting weirder by the minute. She looks around, wondering if it's a joke. Probably not, with her luck.

"I don't have much on me. I wasn't planning on this." She digs through her backpack and pockets and retrieves several items: an unopened Snickers bar, a bunch of pens and pencils, about $15.34 in change, a still-sealed bottle of Coke, and a pair of gold hoop earrings (she'd been wondering where those were).

She looks at the spread, and it's pretty obvious that her offerings aren't that impressive. "Right now, that's all I've got. If you want something else, we can work something out and I can probably ask Normie for a favor provided it's legit. I guess that's everything - oh, yeah."

She holds up the plate. "Nachos?"


I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __MP_________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___MP________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___MP________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____MP_______

Comments

[every-daae.livejournal.com]

Bonjour Mademoiselle! I'm Christine Daae. *tilts head to the side* What are nachos?

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

May blinks, taken aback by the question. She almost makes a snide comment, but the question and the friendliness is genuine - and the dress Christine is wearing doesn't look modern-day.

"Christine Daae?" She's heard that name before, she just can't place it. "Um, it's nice to meet you. "These -" here she indicates the plate "- are nachos. Tortilla chips with melted spicy cheese. I made them for a couple of friends for our study group, but they disappeared - or maybe I did. Where are we?"

[every-daae.livejournal.com]

*looks at the nachos curiously* Oh. May I have one?

*with a brilliant smile* You're at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It's in Scotland. It might be a bit of a shock, so would you like to sit. *frowns, mutters, and waves wand, causing two really odd- looking armchairs to appear* Oh dear. That didn't work like it was supposed to. But they should be good enough to sit on. *gestures at an armchair with a smile*

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Lily eyed the stack of books. "Hello, I'm Lily." She held out her hand and grinned at May. "Tell you what - I'll sort you into Gryffindor, which, trust me, is where you belong - if you'll let me have those books."

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

May is oddly reminded of her mother - maybe a younger version, but Lily's attitude and friendliness definitely brings Mary Jane to mind and the red hair helps a little too. "Hi, I'm May." She takes the proferred hand, smiling.

The smile fades a little at the mention of the books. "Well, I would, but they're not mine to give. Some of them are textbooks, and a bunch are from the library. My Literature teacher thought it'd be a good idea to give us a big research paper right before final exams. I could loan them to you, though."

She's a little disconcerted and is processing things out of order. "Wait. Sorted? Gryffindor? Do I want to be Sorted there? I'm sorry, I'm kind of confused."

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Ah. Right. Lily, smiling at May, pulled out her wand and, with a graceful flip, conjured up a tea tray. Pouring two mugs, she said, "A loan would be brilliant. Especially of any literature - my brain is near mush from all the studying I've been doing. I could use something else to clear my head."

She took a sip of her own tea after handing May a cup. "You're at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Right now, you're being Sorted - that is, students and professors will come in, take bribes, ask questions and vote you into a House, where you'll live. There are four main Houses - Gryffindor, for the brave; Hufflepuff, for the loyal; Ravenclaw, for the intelligent; and Slythindor, for the cunning."

[fine-eyes-lizzy.livejournal.com]

*with a smile* You seem a little disoriented. May I help you? *curtsies* I'm Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

Another name she recognizes but can't put her finger on because she really does need to study for that Literature exam. "I'm a little better, thanks. It helps to know where I am, but I'm not sure how I got here to begin with. I'm Mayday - uh, May Parker. Nice to meet you."

[fine-eyes-lizzy.livejournal.com]

Charmed to meet you, Miss Parker. I'm afraid I can't tell you how you arrived at Hogwarts. No one quite knows exactly. I found myself in a similar predicament to you, as a matter of fact.

Perhaps it would help to speak of more normal subjects. How long have you played, ah... basketball?

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Oh, I haven't drunk any Coke in ages! Can I have that?

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

"Sure," May says, passing it over. "Is there a soda shortage here, or something?

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

*takes the bottle* Thanks!

Eenh. Just different tastes. They're real big on fruit juices here. So - loyal or brave?

[ian-ma1co1m.livejournal.com]

Hello there, miss. Ian Malcolm. I've got two questions for you, if you don't mind.

One, aren't you a little young to have a checkered romantic history that rivals my own; and two, who would you go to for information about Great Supervillains of Yesteryear?

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

The first question is actually one that May's asked herself many times. Well, not in so many words, but the gist is the same. "One, yes I am. Even taking into account the number of crazies posing as normal guys at Midtown High. I don't get it either, I'm starting to think I'm an idiot magnet. Or just unlucky that way."

"Two... probably my Uncle Phil. He can go on for hours about stuff like that. Superheroes, supervillians... mention one bit of trivia about the costume set when he was my age and he'll run with it. Although I'm sure he embellishes a bit."

[estebanmd.livejournal.com]

Dr Maturin perceived that this was yet another unintentional arrival.

"What were you doing, and where were you, before you found yourself here?"

The accent is Irish, and unless May knows various Irish regional accents very well, she will probably be unable to tell that it is also rather antiquated.

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

This is the first time May has ever left the United States - well, technically, she did as a baby, but she doesn't remember that. So the Irish accent doesn't seem out of the ordinary.

"I was in my parents' kitchen, heating up a snack and I thought I was walking out to the living room for a study session. Instead, I walked in here. Does this happen a lot? Can people go home?"

She's ruled out the possibility of hoaxes or hallucinations at this point. Now she's wondering if this is a trap, if these people are also trapped here, if Doc Magus screwed up again, if she could help...

Sure, Mayday. Yeah, you're going to give up the hero biz. When pigs fly.

[wobblingmolly.livejournal.com]

Molly Weasley strode briskly into the sorting room, looked over the application, then noticed the nachos. "You do realize you shouldn't be eating those, dear," she said. "They look like the sort of things that'll go straight to your hips, and trust me, you don't want that."

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

No kidding. Especially when you wear spandex as often as Mayday does.

"They're not for me," May says, which is true. "I made them for the cheese fanatics I was supposed to be studying with. Once Jimmy and JJ and Davida got to them, I'd be lucky to just get one. It'd be a shame to let them go to waste, so I figured I'd offer them up before they got cold. I'm guessing you wouldn't be interested?"

Gryffindor.

[edwardbrock.livejournal.com]

Eddie Brock looks the girl up and down. Such a gesture would typically imply that the boy was checking her out, but instead, the seclusive Ravenclaw's expression showed what appeared to be contempt.

But even he didn't know why he felt that way. Strangely enough, he spoke politely.

"Need help with those books?"

Re: Gryffindor.

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

((Yay for Wikipedia - otherwise I'd have screwed something up.))

May is usually the last person to notice if a guy's checking her out, but that's not why the contempt isn't lost on her.

So far, everyone here's been really friendly and despite the situation, nothing's set off her spider-sense. She's started to wonder if she lost her powers again, or maybe this place blocks her spider-sense.

But that familiar tingle comes back the second he comes in the room - it's coming from him, but at the same time it's not. There's something off about this guy.

Still, the offer's polite and there's no malice in it. "Not really, I -" She pauses, re-evaluating the size of the stack again. "On second thought, it would be nice to see where I'm walking this time. It depends on how much of it people borrow before I get out of here. You want a bribe for the vote? The nachos are still good."

[turtledove-jill.livejournal.com]

What in the hells...? Jill had been looking at the application when the drama broke out, and then the strange guy was jumping off before she could follow her first instinct to intervene. Although the lass did seem to have a few tricks up her sleeve.

"Are you okay, lass?" she asks May, holding out her hand to help the other girl up.

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

"I've been worse," May says, accepting the hand and letting Jill pull her to her feet. "Thank you. I have no idea what that was about. Usually, if someone wants to kill me, there's actually a reason for it."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

That Muggle money you've got there - what sorts of things could it buy?

[makeminemayday.livejournal.com]

((Ack! Comment notifications aren't working, apparently. My bad!))

May's been warned about this, at least, but that doesn't make the talking hat any less weird. Still, she's able to reply politely. "Depends on where you shop and who you go shopping with, I guess." She frowns. "Actually, you could buy a lot of different things now that I think of it, and I don't know how to shop for a Hat." For instance, her innate ability to make a beeline for a boot sale at Fingeroth's is probably not going to be helpful here. "What kind of things would you be looking for?"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

There's only one house for a young lady brave and courageous enough to lei a hat!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Gryffindor!