The Nac Mac Feegle, of the Chalk Hill clan - Discworld

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

There's a mass of 500 or so little blue men, with red hair standing in the hall. All of them look belligerent, and quite possibly drunk, and they're making a lot of noise.

"CRIVENS! Will ye dafties no' shut up? Tha's better."



1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"Crivens! Tha' 'd be Horace, ye ken. Lancre Blue, from what we bin told. He be one o' us, if only coz he's jus' as nasty a scunner as Big Yan."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"Ye're implyin' we cannae kill 'em both at the same time.

We're the Nac Mac Feegle; we'll gie both o' them mudlins a right heid to the face."

3. What time is it where you are?

"Time fer a drink, say I."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"Well, I be a married man. Me Kelda'd be mos' upset if I was doin' the sexual harrassins.

There'd be the tappin' of the feets..."

At this point the other Feegles start crying ou "Waily waily waily, no' the tappin' of the feets!"

"An' after tha', there'd be the crossin' of the arms"

"Waily waily! She be crossin' her arms!"

"Will ye scunners knock it off wi' the groanin' before I starts bangin' heids together! Right?

After that, there's the pursin' o' the lips"

Only one feegle piped up this time "Oh, waily, waily, waily! Oooh, aaargh! the pursin'... o'... the..."

"Daft Wullie, ye ken I told yez there wuz times ye should listen to whut I was sayin? this wuz one o' them times."

"Sorry, Rob"
5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"Tend bar? Thas where yez take all the booze an' drink it, right?"

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

"Well we bain't 'xactly experts, but shouldna tha' be this Harry bigjob's choice?"

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"The words! They be takin' o'er. Gie us a second, and we'll fix it."

There is a blue blur, and then the smell of smoke coming from the desk, followed by a whoosh as the papers go up in flames.

"NAC MAC FEEGLE!"

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"Well we's just fixed yer deskie o' the papers. An' we been lookin' ou' fer the Big Wee Hag. We fought off Hivers, an' th' Quin. And th' Wintersmith heself."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"Well if ye need anythin' stolen, drunk or kicked tae death, we're yer men. We c'n get in anywhere, ye ken. Although sometimes gettin' out o' bars be real difficult."





"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Pinky Scumbag
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Pinky Scumbag.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Pinky Scumbag.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Pinky Scumbag"

Comments

[rosecasson.livejournal.com]

((*dies*))

Rose examines the 500 or so Pictsies.

'What're your names, please?'

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Well, I be Rob Anybody Feegle, Big Man o' the clan. Boys, shout yer name fer the hag."

"Daft Wullie!"
"Big Yan"
"Wee Jock"
"Wee Billy Bigshins"
"Big Willy Weeshins!"
"Big Jock"
"Not as big as Big Jock, or Medium-sized Jock but bigger than Wee Jock Jock"
"Medium-sized Jock"
"Mad Hamish"
"Not so mad Jock"
"Yan"
"Tan"
"TETHRA"
"Rob Almost Everybody"
"Not as big as Not as big as Big Jock, or Medium-sized Jock but bigger than Wee Jock Jock, but bigger than Wee Jock Jock"
"Crazy Wee Robby"
"Awf'ly Wee Billy Bigshins"
((Do you really want me to go on? I'll come up with 500 names, if I really have to.))

[mr-vera.livejournal.com]

I like you guys. I think you oughta be in Gryffindor with me. Though I'm damned if I know where we're gonna put all o' you.

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"How 'bout wi' th' booze. We'd like i' thar."

[deskologist.livejournal.com]

Mort is unable to contain himself. Five hundred tiny blue Scottish men... awesome.

"I'd be glad to vote you into whichever House you like, as long as I can take the promise of a future invite to whatever sort of tale-telling time you might have as a bribe, whether that's around the pub table or somewhere else. I'm sure you must have some absolutely fascinating stories," he grins.

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Och. Yer welcome t' come along wi' us annawhere we be goin'. If ye're intrested in the fightin', the boozin' or the stealin', we want ye along."

[sada-chan.livejournal.com]

Belligerent house elves? Amusing.

Slytherin. I'm sure they'll be able to make use of you.

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Ach! Are ye callin us elves!?! I'll gie ye sicha kickin'"
"There can only be one t'housand!!"
"Crivens!"
"Nac Mac Feegle wha hae!"
"They can tak' oour lives but they cannae tak' oour troousers!"
"Ye'll tak' the high road an' I'll tak' yer wallet!"
"Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willnae be fooled again!"
"Ach, stick it up yer trakkans!"
"Give you sich a kickin'!"
"Hey, youse scunners, we got a cheap lawyer and we no' afraid tae use him wi' prejudice!"
"I could murrder a kebab!"
"Ach, here's a headful o' dandruff for ye, ye bogle!"
"Bigjobs!"
Lovely sunshine, good huntin', nice pretty flowers, and wee burdies goin' cheep!"
"Crivens! I kicked meself in ma ain heid!"

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

*tries to calm her agitated treecat*

Oh. My. Where did all of *you* come from?

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"O'er theere!" 500 little blue arms point in 500 different directions.

[immunityordeath.livejournal.com]

*stares*

*stares*

*STARES*

...okay, I mean this with all possible politeness, but what the fuck ARE you?

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"NAC MAC FEEGLE!"
"We're the Wee Free Men."
"Pictsies!"
"Th' Little Men"
"Person or Persons Unkown, Believed to Be Armed!"

[rogue-nebari.livejournal.com]

Chiana stares. "You know, I don't think I really got the concept of 'a whole frell of a lot' until now."

Vote: Ravenclaw

[researcher42.livejournal.com]

((*dies*))

Hoopy! Can we divide you all up so there are some in each house? If not I guess you should be in Ravenclaw. The bar has been too quiet lately.

Re: Vote: Ravenclaw

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"We'll go EVRAWHERE! There be 500 o' us!"

[world-builder.livejournal.com]

I,I, really I have to agree with, with Ford; I could, you know, make you all a Gargle Blaster, just to, to, to see what would happen. Incidentally, why, that is, why are you blue?

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

William the Gonnagle steps up and taps the side of his nose "Ah, tha' be a verra big secret. We cannae reveal tha' to a Bigjob."

[schizowarrior.livejournal.com]

*eyes the little critters* Pixies, huh? How do you feel about mutant radioactive cockroaches?

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Nae pixies, bigjob! PICTSIES!"

"Mutant raidyo Cockraches? If we can kick 'em in th' teeth, we're happy."

[squeegeetodd.livejournal.com]

Um... What's a scunner?

((Oh man, I can't stop giggling!))

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

William the Gonnagle hands you a book called "Fairies and how to avoid them" by Miss Perspicacia Tick.

There is a Feegle glossary.

Scunner: A generally unpleasant person

[dinosaurman.livejournal.com]

What the hell? This isn't what I wanted for the next Care of Magical Creatures class.

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Yez hae magical creatures yez need taken care o'? We'll do it, fer free ye ken. Gie em Wha Hae!"

Quick mod note!

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

((You can only have six chars at any given time. You already have two. You can only have two from the same fandom. The WFM are mass-like enough to count as not 500 separate chars, but they're being counted as one app and therefore all need to go into the same House and have the same journal.

~Damien.))

[shark-swordsman.livejournal.com]

Kisame raised an eyebrow at the horde.

"Blue skin. Perhaps we're related."

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"I dinnae think so, fishface. Yez is jus' too much of a bigjob fer us."

[gutentaghopclop.livejournal.com]

((I have absolutely no idea who these chaps are, but this app well nigh kilt me. Yes, that pun is wretched even by my own standards. Have no idea what most of my pups will say or think, but there's one who's completely predictable, so here goes, complete with bad German!))

Hallo, Kleine Freunden Blaues! You like to sing und dance?

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"The singin' and th' dancin'? Ach, we let oour gonnagles do th' singin' but ye'll find nae better danskies than oours, bigjob!"

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah? Stick it up yer trakkans!

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

[silk-simkin.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. Pictsies?

Shoo, little men. And do not talk to me.

(http://www.greatestjournal.com/)

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well... Right.

She couldn't help but laugh a little, but Lily surveyed the 500 blue-skinned men with a wondering grin. "Hello," she said finally. "I'm Lily. Er...where would you all like to be sorted, then?"

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Crivens, we're nae fashed where yez puts us. Pretty bigjob hag liken yerself'll surely know where best we should go"

[thieving-minx.livejournal.com]

Amanda had a brief mental image of Duncan as one of these whatever-they-were, and it sent her into a serious giggle-fit. Once she managed to get it (mostly) under control, she said, "Hi. I'm Amanda. You remind me of a friend of mine."

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Och, we gets tha' alot. 'slong as yer friend dinnae be a copper, we is all gud."

[fm-elric.livejournal.com]

It was only on rare occasions that Ed ever bothered to check out the sorting room. This time, however, he was pleasantly surprised.

There were five hundred men in the sorting room- to be more specific, five hundred men shorter than Ed.

And for Ed, that was cause for celebration.

"Tell you what, since I'm in such a good mood, I vote you wherever you want for free."

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Crivens, yer a friendly wee bigjob. We'll go tae whiche'er hoouse's goot a bar"

[nemofound.livejournal.com]

A house elf, probably twice the height of the Nac Mac Feegle, comes into the room, dragging a sled on which rests a fishtank. The small orange clownfish within it swims to the side of the tank and peers out.

"Cross my stripes, there's a lot of you guys!" the fish exclaims. "And you're all little like me! There's a lot of big people here, and even a kitty, but don't worry, the kitty won't hurt you." The fish smiles.

"I'm Nemo."

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Crivens, a cattybeast? We're nae 'fraid o' th' scunners. Wez give th' dafties a right kicken if'n ye like. Jus' like th' last un tha' preyed on the wee birdies. Chirp Chirp!"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

My, my, there are a lot of you! And you seem like quite the troublesome lot, not like our workaholic house-elves. In fact, I'm wondering if 'alcoholic' might be a better word.... You're going to have to steal something mighty interesting to convince me not to put you under the house-elves' authority, hmmmmmmm....

[wee-free-men.livejournal.com]

"Crivens! Yez wan' somethin' stolen? Gie us a second." The Feegles all lift their legs, give a quick shake of the ankle, and vanish.

About ten minutes later, there's a rumbling sound and the earth is shaking. Rob Anybody reappears and grins at the Hat

"Lay yer peepers on yon windae, Oh Hat o' Hags."

There's a castle, a hattery, a brewery, and about 200 Feegles holding what looks to be Neptune. In fact, it IS Neptune.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

You are a highly resourceful and intelligent clan of young, wee alcoholic men, and you know just how to flatter a hat!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Ravenclaw!