![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
lilypotter60.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hh_mirror((Backdated to right after The emo and the sleeping and the charming of the telly.))
A flash, cold blue, in the distance.
People shouting, screaming, crying.
Figures running past, someone calling her name.
Glazed eyes staring at her, a body crumpled on the ground.
Too late. Again.
With a small gasp Lily jerked awake, eyes flying open. Steeler yawned his protest at his warm bed moving so suddenly and curled back up, lying half on her and half on Sirius. Sirius. Confused, Lily raised her head slightly. She was curled up against her friend, arm slung around his waist, head resting on his chest. A small smile flickered across her face and she laid her head back down.
Easing her mind away from the nightmare that had awakened her, Lily simply took comfort in sitting next to him. His heart beat was steady under her, his breathing slow and regular. He smelled good, too - fresh and clean. Thank Merlin she'd made him go shower. Sighing softly, Lily relaxed again. She hadn't meant to sleep at all, but, gauging from the shadows on the floor she'd been out for a couple of hours. The rest had helped; Lily felt worlds better than she had in a few days. Now, maybe, she could actually be there for Sirius - help him, somehow - rather than breaking down and forcing Sirius to deal with her problems. Sometimes, Lily was amazed at her own selfishness; she determined to focus completely on what he might need to help him start to heal.
Glancing back up at him, Lily considered moving, going to another chair and getting some studying done, but she didn't want to wake him. The fact he was sleeping, naturally, in his own form wasn't lost on her. Simply watching him for a moment, Lily absently scratched behind Steeler's ears. Sirius looked better - still sad, horribly so, and there was still the evidence of grief in the lines of his face - but Lily thought she could see a small measure of relief about him. Like maybe he was starting to claw his way up out of the despair that had overwhelmed him.
Another sigh and Lily turned her eyes away from studying his face. "I miss you, James," she thought, jaw clenching against the sudden ache in her chest, that burning sensation in her throat. "I didn't know I could miss someone this much and still be walking around, still be breathing, still have any desire to laugh and live and do anything but curl up in a corner and cry. But I'll take care of Sirius. Because you'd want me to, because he was your brother, because we both loved him. Because he misses you just as much as I do. I'll take care of him because you can't. And, somehow, we'll keep going. Like I know you'd want us to; like I'd want you to do if it was me gone instead. But, Merlin, James, I miss you."
Fingers stroking idly through Steeler's fur, Lily let her mind wander. Remembering things, moments, days of her life before. Her wedding - her so nervous she was sure she'd never make it up to where James waited, Sirius grinning beside him; days spent with books scattered across her kitchen table, Order members flowing in and out, laughing and drinking tea and ignoring the fact that when night fell some of them might not be coming back; going out to dinner, all of them, laughing so hard she could hardly breathe; quiet evenings spent at home in front of the fire, so domestic and normal that it made her grin at the silliness and ache for the loss. So many good things, so much she could never have again. Waiting for Sirius to wake up, Lily allowed herself to cry, just a little, for the absence of her husband, of the life she'd known before. A few tears, a small shuddering sigh, and she carefully maintained her composure. Once Sirius was awake, Lily fully planned on shoring up her own grief again; but now, for only a second, she let herself remember and mourn.
A flash, cold blue, in the distance.
People shouting, screaming, crying.
Figures running past, someone calling her name.
Glazed eyes staring at her, a body crumpled on the ground.
Too late. Again.
With a small gasp Lily jerked awake, eyes flying open. Steeler yawned his protest at his warm bed moving so suddenly and curled back up, lying half on her and half on Sirius. Sirius. Confused, Lily raised her head slightly. She was curled up against her friend, arm slung around his waist, head resting on his chest. A small smile flickered across her face and she laid her head back down.
Easing her mind away from the nightmare that had awakened her, Lily simply took comfort in sitting next to him. His heart beat was steady under her, his breathing slow and regular. He smelled good, too - fresh and clean. Thank Merlin she'd made him go shower. Sighing softly, Lily relaxed again. She hadn't meant to sleep at all, but, gauging from the shadows on the floor she'd been out for a couple of hours. The rest had helped; Lily felt worlds better than she had in a few days. Now, maybe, she could actually be there for Sirius - help him, somehow - rather than breaking down and forcing Sirius to deal with her problems. Sometimes, Lily was amazed at her own selfishness; she determined to focus completely on what he might need to help him start to heal.
Glancing back up at him, Lily considered moving, going to another chair and getting some studying done, but she didn't want to wake him. The fact he was sleeping, naturally, in his own form wasn't lost on her. Simply watching him for a moment, Lily absently scratched behind Steeler's ears. Sirius looked better - still sad, horribly so, and there was still the evidence of grief in the lines of his face - but Lily thought she could see a small measure of relief about him. Like maybe he was starting to claw his way up out of the despair that had overwhelmed him.
Another sigh and Lily turned her eyes away from studying his face. "I miss you, James," she thought, jaw clenching against the sudden ache in her chest, that burning sensation in her throat. "I didn't know I could miss someone this much and still be walking around, still be breathing, still have any desire to laugh and live and do anything but curl up in a corner and cry. But I'll take care of Sirius. Because you'd want me to, because he was your brother, because we both loved him. Because he misses you just as much as I do. I'll take care of him because you can't. And, somehow, we'll keep going. Like I know you'd want us to; like I'd want you to do if it was me gone instead. But, Merlin, James, I miss you."
Fingers stroking idly through Steeler's fur, Lily let her mind wander. Remembering things, moments, days of her life before. Her wedding - her so nervous she was sure she'd never make it up to where James waited, Sirius grinning beside him; days spent with books scattered across her kitchen table, Order members flowing in and out, laughing and drinking tea and ignoring the fact that when night fell some of them might not be coming back; going out to dinner, all of them, laughing so hard she could hardly breathe; quiet evenings spent at home in front of the fire, so domestic and normal that it made her grin at the silliness and ache for the loss. So many good things, so much she could never have again. Waiting for Sirius to wake up, Lily allowed herself to cry, just a little, for the absence of her husband, of the life she'd known before. A few tears, a small shuddering sigh, and she carefully maintained her composure. Once Sirius was awake, Lily fully planned on shoring up her own grief again; but now, for only a second, she let herself remember and mourn.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 04:56 am (UTC)For reasons Muggle scientists had long studied, but only partially uncovered, the human brain needs to dream. And Sirius, having taken Dreamless Sleep Potion for the previous several days, had not dreamt in a while. Perhaps that was why, as he drifted off to sleep in the chair, Lily dozing next to him, the dreams that washed over his resting mind were especially vivid.
Three sets of feet raced up a staircase, the sounds of their rapid steps absorbed into the wood with a series of dull thuds.
“Moony! Sorry we’re late! Filch caught Padfoot and me going out the front entrance, but then Wormtail convinced Peeves that it’d be a brilliant idea to drop an entire box of thimbles from the first years’ Transfiguration lessons down the marble staircase, and we managed to slip away while he was distracted.”
Just behind James, Sirius leapt his way up the stairs and down the dark corridor. As he entered the bedroom, he saw a rather pale Remus sitting on the bed, his back propped up against the headboard.
“Could the three of you be any louder when you come in? I don’t think Professor Dumbledore quite heard you in his office, but if you stomp just a little bit harder and shout just a little bit louder, he just might.” Remus himself was talking a little bit too loudly, in what Sirius figured was an attempt to hide the hoarse, ragged edge in his voice; the moon was due to rise shortly. His tone, however, was light, and his smile was soft, if a bit strained.
“Ha! The look on his face when he sees all of us in here would be priceless,” said Sirius coolly, striding over to the bed and sitting down at the foot in one smooth motion.
James laughed, and a second later Peter joined in, having trailed James and Sirius into the room.
“Yeah, laugh now, but you’ll be crying later when you’re expelled and forced to clean loos at the Ministry for a living,” Remus remarked mildly as James sprawled out on the floor, joined by Peter a moment later.
Well, that was something Sirius would never be caught dead doing. “Prongs and Wormtail can spend their lives Scourgifying toilets. Me, I’ll steal a bag of Galleons from my parents and ride my broomstick out to…well, I dunno where, but it won’t be anywhere around here. Maybe to New York. I reckon I could blend in there, find me a hot American girl – witch or Muggle, doesn’t really matter to me, as long as she’ll get on a broom and fly around with me. Or maybe teach me to drive a car.”
“What about our joke shop? You abandoning P & P’s for some bird already?” asked James, clearly amused.
“There’s no P & P’s if you and Wormtail are cleaning pee off toilet seats,” retorted Sirius as Peter’s head swivelled from James to Sirius and then back again.
“I won’t be cleaning any bogs,” Peter piped up. “If I got expelled, you know what I’d do? I’d - ”
“No one cares,” Sirius interjected sharply, and Peter’s voice quickly faded into silence. After a brief pause, he added in a softer tone, “Anyway, no one’s getting expelled, because you and Peeves are apparently best mates, so…well done!”
For a moment, Peter’s expression hovered and twitched before resolving into a soft, satisfied sneer.
((Continued in the next post...))
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 04:57 am (UTC)“Why weren’t you two under the Invisibility Cloak, and why was Wormtail with Peeves instead of under there with you?” asked Remus, looking first at James and then Sirius. A muscle in his face twitched, and he blanched slightly.
“We wanted to see if we could get out of the castle without getting caught,” replied James, catching Sirius’s eye and smirking. Sirius smirked back. “And Wormtail was keeping lookout for us.”
“Well, now you’ve got your answer, haven’t you? And it’s ‘no’, so don’t try that one again. If anyone ever were to find out about this, we’d all be - ” Remus’s voice choked up in his throat, and his shoulders seized up and began to shake.
“Moonrise,” James commented calmly. “I’m going outside.” James’s antlers didn’t do well in the doorway, and it was easier for him to meet the other three outside once they had all transformed. He got up and walked towards the door. “See you in a bit, Moony,” he called casually over his shoulder.
As he left, Peter scrambled up off the floor. “Ready, Padfoot?” he said to Sirius as Remus twitched and writhed on the opposite side of the bed from where Sirius was sitting.
“Yeah.” Sirius got up, too. Remus was on the verge of his transformation, and while Sirius liked to push his limits, he also did not relish the idea of Remus biting him.
Peter had already begun to transform, his body rapidly shrinking down into itself.
But then something went wrong. Where there was supposed to be a rat, a dark black mist had coalesced. It swirled and rose rapidly, lengthening and resolving and becoming more and more opaque until it had a form.
The form of a tall, cloaked creature with rotting hands and a rattling breath.
Terrified, Sirius cried out, “Moony!” But Remus was gone. The entire room was gone, and instead Sirius was in a small, dark, stone cell, and it was cold, so cold. And then the memories came, and the images…. His mother calling him a traitor to the family…Regulus’s face, full of hurt and anger…James’s dead stare, Lily’s crumpled body….
The Dementor hovered over him, leaning closer and closer, raising its hands to lift its hood. Sirius was covered in a cold sweat, and as desperately as he tried, he couldn’t move a single muscle. It was bearing down on him now, and the shadow of the hood was almost lifted off of its face. He tried to shut his eyes, but he couldn’t, and he was forced to see it, the terrible, awful face…covered in white greasepaint…its leering grin and wild, maniacal eyes…and red, spongey nose.
Sirius jerked awake with a gasp, his heart pounding. For a moment, he was confused, and he blinked, trying to work out just where he was and what had happened.
Lily was leaning against his chest, and Steeler was in her lap.
They must’ve all fallen asleep.
“Hey,” he managed, trying to sound normal and casual even as his heart slammed against his ribcage. After swallowing once and then clearing his throat, he added, “You awake?”
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 05:14 am (UTC)Her hand went out to find his and she studied him intently. "Bad dream?" It was ironic, really, how hypocritical Lily could be. She refused to tell Sirius about her own sleeping problems, and yet was now expecting him to share what had caused him to jerk awake. She justified it to herself as simply wanting to take care of a mate who was hurting; the last thing Sirius needed was to have to worry about her. Lily's eyes were filled with worry and sympathy and she squeezed his hand gently.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 05:26 am (UTC)He shook his head more firmly. "No, nothing. Just...was confused for a moment. I - I reckon I'm used to your bed now, so I wasn't sure where I was." He paused, realising how wrong that came out, and barked out a short laugh. "I mean that in the most innocent of ways, Evans."
His heartbeat had begun to slow, and the images were less crisp now. He squeezed her hand.
"You sleep well?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 05:37 am (UTC)"Honestly, Sirius," her voice was quiet and laced with a small portion of the absolute worry she'd felt since Sirius had showed up at her door. "Was it - " cutting herself off, Lily tried again. "What was it?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 05:47 am (UTC)He paused for a moment and then repeated, "You sleep okay?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 05:56 am (UTC)But he'd just been through hell the past few days and the last thing Lily wanted to do was push too hard. "Right," she murmured after a moment. Then, smirking slightly, Lily picked up Steeler, who whimpered a little in protest at being moved. Turning sideways in the chair, hooking her legs over Sirius', Lily plopped Steeler back down on her lap. Ha. They could sit there all day as far as she was concerned - he wasn't moving until she did, and she wasn't moving until he talked. Then, giving a Sirius an innocent look, she said again, "Tell me."
Completely ignoring, for the second time, his question.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 06:04 am (UTC)Looking her in the eye, he said with a straight face, "It was the most erotic dream. About you. Scared me half to death."
Being with Lily actually eased some of his tensions despite the terrifying nightmare. He took great pleasure in teasing her, and the opportunity was too ripe not to be plucked eagerly. And joking around did lift his spirits.
"How 'bout you? Were you dreaming about me?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 06:09 am (UTC)Expression smooth and one of mild distaste, Lily nodded. "I figured as much. All that moaning and whimpering. Scared that you couldn't keep up, I wager. Poor Black, don't worry - you wouldn't be the first." One eyebrow went up to let him know he wasn't off the hook. But Lily would never turn down the chance to have a bit of fun with him.
"Well, let me think," she tapped her finger to her chin. "It was rather boring, didn't last very long, and I was left with a vague feeling of dissatisfaction so..." She grinned widely. "Yeah, I suppose I was."
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 06:45 am (UTC)Sirius's eyebrow raised further, as if he were seeing her bet and then raising it.
"And you clearly haven't known me, because I'd never leave you bored, wanting more, and dissatisfied. In fact - " Sirius's eyes took on an even naughtier gleam " - why don't you ask Perrilicious about that? I'm sure he can verify it for you if you don't believe me."
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 07:19 am (UTC)Another completely innocent look as Lily sat back. "Where do you think I got this information? Don't think I just came up with it on my own, do you?" Her own eyes returned his look and she smirked. "Though, if you insist that these facts are wrong, my bed does have clean linens." Oh, check and mate, Black.
Het-chicken FTW.no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 07:31 am (UTC)Unfortunately for Lily, she was playing Het Chicken (or any kind of chicken) with the wrong person. "Right. First, I know for a fact that I rocked Perrilicious's world. Second, why bother with the bed? We're both cozy in this chair. Or are you not flexible like that?" His words were cool and measured, a mild, impassive grin on his face. Oh, Lily. You are playing with a master. Good luck, dear.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 07:43 am (UTC)Unfortunately for Sirius, he was playing Het Chicken with one extremely stubborn Witch. "Actually, my current favourite position is against a wall, but, in my experience, this chair is quite sturdy. And, Black?" her voice matched his, but a wicked gleam flashed in her eyes. "You'd be amazed at how flexible I am with things like that." Yes, folks, she might be inexperienced, but she comes to play.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 07:55 am (UTC)"Look, wherever you want it, Evans, let's do it. I'm easy. And I can rock your world sitting up, standing down, on a broom, in your room, on a train, on a plane, in the tower, every hour. And right now. So come on, show me what you've got."
How this turned from a challenge for Sirius to display his prowess to a challenge for Lily to display hers was a mystery.
Either way, he was ready for her.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 09:00 am (UTC)Straightening her shoulders, Lily leaned forward, closing half the distance between them. She'd be buggered if she was going to blink first. "However, Sirius, I think you'll find that if anyone's world is getting rocked, it'd be yours."
The question was, actually, how this had turned from her wanting Sirius to talk about his nightmare to a very odd game of chicken with her best mate. However, Sirius was smiling, and that was a good thing. Oh, and Lily was totally going to pwn him.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 03:37 pm (UTC)Adjusting his focus so he was looking Lily straight in the eye, he said slowly and deliberately in a low rumble, "If you're so good, then now's your chance to prove it. Or are you - " his voice droppped into a sharp whisper " - ...chicken?"
Yeah, he said it. It was so on.
He tilted his head and shot her a deep, sordid gaze. Whatcha gonna do now, Evans?
no subject
Date: 2006-10-14 06:08 pm (UTC)One eyebrow went up slightly and she moved forward achingly slowly, so that her lips were just a breath away from his. In a low, husky voice, she returned, "Only chicken I see here is you, Black. And I think you're all talk."
Ha! Call her a chicken, would he? It was on, all right.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 03:03 am (UTC)OH yeah. Volley that one back, Evans. It was do or die now.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 03:26 am (UTC)Oh, what now Sirius? Only one way to take this, and she was so pwning his arse. There was no way he wasn't going to blink.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 03:52 am (UTC)GayHet Chicken, but it was a dirty, cheating move.And it completely broke Sirius's focus, leaving him with only one thing to do to salvage his chance for victory.
Lunging forward, he kissed Lily full and hard on the lips.
And then the utter ridiculousness of the situation hit. His lips curved into a pinched smile against Lily's as his shoulders started to shake, until finally he couldn't hold it back any longer and a puff of air forced its way out of his mouth, followed by uncontrollable laughter.
Dammit! Bloody fucking hell! Oh, he was going to get her for this.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 04:16 am (UTC)And then Sirius broke into laughter. Lily shot up off the chair and punched her fists in the air. "Oh! Bloody hell, yes!" Grinning, laughing hysterically, she did a little victory dance. "What now, Black?"
Beating someone at Het Chicken was great. Beating the infamous Sirius Black at it? Sodding brilliant.
Steeler, from his spot on the floor, where he'd fled to when
his pillowsSirius and Lily had decided that moving around was more fun than sleeping, barked happily at Lily. Lily bowed slightly to the puppy and gave Sirius a wink. "What's that Steeler? Did I completely own Sirius? Why yes, yes I did."no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 04:41 am (UTC)Some degree of victory, or at least his reputation, had to be salvaged, though.
He watched Lily carry on, taking that time to quell his laughter and compose himself. After she was done, he cleared his throat, blanked out his expression, looked at her, and said, "Not all talk, am I?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 04:50 am (UTC)Giving him a cheeky grin, Lily leaned back on her arms and nudged his leg with her foot. "Right. So, before my stunning victory, what were we talking about?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 05:15 am (UTC)"Hmmmm, Evans, well, I suppose you ought to know that I'd rank you just above Marissa Thompson - yes, your old roommate - and just below - " here came his trump card " - one Perry Cox."
Sirius paused and then said in a light tone, "Right. What were we talking about, then?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 05:37 am (UTC)"Marissa? That's funny, Black, because she ranked you somewhere below Peter." Oh, such fun, this was. She'd missed their own special brand of harassment. "And forgive me if I don't take offense to the fact that you rate my boyfriend as a better snog. First, he's so much more experience on me I'm surprised he's not bored by now. Second," she smirked, "I'm reaping the benefits of it, so it's not so much an insult as a good reminder of what I've to look forward to."
Steeler trotted over, bringing his chew toy. Playing tug-of-war with him, Lily glanced up at Sirius. "We're talking about your nightmare," she returned, just as lightly.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 06:44 am (UTC)"Anyway, if Perrilicious were bored by you, I'm sure he would've said something. He's not exactly the type to hold back, you know? But if you need a second chance to prove yourself, well...I'm a generous man." Sirius reclined regally into the chair. Yes, he was trying to salvage some sort of victory from this.
"And mmmmmmmmm, I thought we were talking about yours," he coolly retorted back to her comment about his nightmare, his tone equally light and casual as hers.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 07:11 am (UTC)Snorting softly, Lily rolled her eyes. "Could you...not call him 'Perrilicious'? It makes him sound like some sort of bubble gum." Laughing again at Sirius, Lily held up her hands and shook her head violently. "Oh, Merlin, please no. Once was enough. Never again."
Her joking manner slipped and Lily went absolutely still for just a second. If someone didn't know her well, they probably wouldn't have even noticed it. Leaning back again, a smirk firmly in place, Lily shrugged. "Never said I was having a nightmare. You, on the other hand, did."
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 07:46 am (UTC)"Rubbish! You can't even compare me to Snivellus. And - bloody hell, Evans, please tell me you didn't kiss that oilyheaded wanker." Sirius sincerely hoped she was joking, because if she had ever kissed Snape, he would have to pick up his wand and immediately Scourgify his mouth.
Also unfortunately for Lily, Sirius knew her all too well, and as such, he noticed her brief flinch. His question about her nightmare had been a bit of a throwaway - a retort fashioned in the same to echo her question, but apparently he had hit a nerve.
"Never said you didn't, either," Sirius said, again in a casual tone. "And yeah, I did. So...? You gonna interpret it for me or something, Evans?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 08:01 am (UTC)Meeting his eyes, Lily didn't blink. "I didn't." Oh, lies. He would know, Lily was almost certain. If she really wanted to lie, not many people could tell. Sirius was one of them, however. James had always been able to catch her at it, too. But she was determined, above anything, to not worry him with her silly bad dreams. "There, now that's said. And I might," she rejoined, just as casual. "Got an 'O' in Divination, didn't I? Come on, then. What was your dream about?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-15 08:51 am (UTC), especially because so many fangirls seemed to think it true.His face, too, darkened at Lily's mention of the epithet Snape had hurled at Lily, but then it resolved into a combination of surprise and intrigue. "She was a whore? Ah, come on, Evans, she was a nice girl. We had our good times. How was she a whore?"
Her answer about the nightmare was obviously a lie; it was far too deliberate not to be. But Sirius knew that when Lily wanted to talk about things, she talked about them. And if she didn't want to talk about this, he certainly wasn't going to force her; it was none of his business. He did, however, make a mental note to remember it. Her edginess about the topic was disconcerting, and Sirius decided it might be something to keep an eye on. She was looking awfully haggard these days, and she had already hinted (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/905496.html?thread=44802840#t44802840) about her sleep problems (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/925868.html?thread=45726892#t45726892).
"Divination is rubbish," Sirius remarked. "I can't believe they still teach it here. The only thing I learned in that class was how to sleep sitting up. Oh, and that James fancied your eyes. Said it gave him a little thrill whenever you glared at him for asking you out. He kept passing notes to me about it whilst the professor droned on about star patterns and heavens omens and whatnot." The memory was bittersweet, and for a moment Sirius fell silent, thinking again about his best friend and all the little things he missed about him.
Talking about the dream was actually a good distraction. Sirius blinked and said, "Anyway, if you must know, Professor Lily McKnowitall, it was about my mates and Dementors and evil clowns. So, what does it all mean, then?" He put his hand in his chin and stared down at Lily in feigned interest.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-16 03:00 am (UTC)The smile froze, just for a second, when Sirius brought up James. But then it melted into a soft expression. "Daft bugger," she flashed a fond grin, laughing softly, ducking her head. "I started to try and think up creative ways to say 'no', after a while. Never gave up, though, did he?" Closing her eyes briefly and swallowing hard against the lump that suddenly formed in her throat, Lily laughed again, harder. "Do you remember in sixth year when he started to send me sodding notes? Somehow, everywhere I looked, there were letters from him - in my dresser, my books, my bag, even in my bloody food at lunch. All of them saying the same thing: 'Evans - Go out with me. - Potter.'" Shoulders shaking now, Lily looked up at Sirius and grinned. "Never did tell me how he managed it. He told me he was saving that particular trick for our first big fight. 'Strategy, woman. Can't give away all my secrets.'" Wiping her eyes - Lily wasn't entirely sure if the tears were from laughter or grief - she sighed a little. "I'd thank everything above and below every day that I realized how worth it he was before he realized how very much I was not."
Because of everything that had happened since coming back, Lily really hadn't talked about James - her James. It felt nice to remember the good things - the times he'd made her laugh, the wonderful, silly, sweet, aggravating moments that had made up the majority of her life with him. She missed James, so much. More than she'd ever really thought she could miss anything. It was like missing oxygen, missing your heartbeat - it didn't seem you should be able to live with the loss. But talking about James, while incredibly painful, was also something she seemed to crave. It was made easier by the knowledge that Sirius had loved James just as much as Lily had - in a different way, of course, but no less deeply - and would understand. All James' quirks, his patterns of speech, that way he had of smiling and making everyone smile with him (even when Lily was trying desperately to stay angry at him) - Sirius knew as well as she did.
Reaching over and taking Sirius' hand, squeezing it gently, Lily smiled at her friend. Really, she would still be weeping in a corner if it hadn't been for Sirius. She owed him more than she'd ever be able to repay for that alone; not to mention what an amazing friend he'd been beyond that. Which was why, when he gave her the insanely short version of his nightmares, Lily regarded him for a moment, eyes studying him intently. It was her 'mum' look, though she didn't realize it. The look that let the other person know that they weren't getting away with anything. Then, a smile tugging at her lips, she leaned back.
"Well," Lily drawled, in her best professor voice, "obviously Mr. Black, you're suffering from a lack of tea and cakes. Also, you could use a good walk, outside, enjoy the sunshine and fresh air and the like. And..." she paused, tilting her head. "You're not spending enough time with people who make you laugh." She winked. "Ha! How's that? Didn't get that 'O' for nothing."
no subject
Date: 2006-10-16 11:33 pm (UTC)He looked down at Lily fondly. It was nice to be able to talk about James. Perhaps that had been part of Sirius's problem all along; not only was the one person he had wanted to talk to the most dead, but also he had had no one to talk to for over fourteen years about how much he missed that person. (Well, he really hadn't had anyone to talk to about anything at all; that's what came of being the highest-security prisoner in Azkaban.) It wasn't a healthy way to grieve, but Sirius feared much of the damage had already been done.
Idly, he picked up a lock of her hair and twirled it loosely around one of his fingers. "'Course you're worth it," he said, frowning slightly. "Nothing but the best for my best mate, right? Anyway, don't flatter him - he could be a right pain when he wanted to, and you're more than deserving of him. You know that."
His expression softened back into a smile in response to Lily's, and he squeezed her hand back. Then, as she studied him, he widened his eyes at her in an innocent "What?" sort of look.
"Well, bugger!" he replied to her 'interpretation' of his dream, a naughty grin on his face. "So you're saying I've got to spend more time with you now? Ain't that a shitkicker. Will you at least provide me with said tea and cakes and take me for a walk in the fresh air? That way I can kill three birds with one stone." After a brief pause, he added, "You got all that from mates, Dementors, and evil clowns? Well, that just further confirms how completely rubbish Divination is. But wait, it's my turn to interpret for you...."
He looked at her expectantly, curious to see how she'd handle this one.
Ah, damn. He had to give her a way out. It was nice to be having a bit of fun for a change, and he didn't want to ruin that.
"Dreams, tea leaves, or palm reading. Your choice."
no subject
Date: 2006-10-17 02:09 am (UTC)Leaning back against his legs, Lily called Steeler over to her. The puppy tumbled along willingly, happy that Lily was ready to play. Watching Sirius out of the corner of her eye as she tickled and scratched and otherwise spoiled Steeler, she shook her head slightly. "Course he could be a right pain. When have I ever liked a bloke who couldn't? Keeps things interesting. What sort of fun would I ever have had without James and you and now Perry?" If she was being completely honest, Lily really didn't feel like she had been good enough for James. Much like she didn't feel she was good enough for Cox, now. But that was serious talk, talk that wouldn't keep the smile on Sirius' face, so Lily simply shrugged and left the subject alone.
Eyebrow raising higher at his 'innocent' look, Lily laughed again and nudged his foot with her knee. "Don't make it sound so horrible, mate. It could be worse. After all, I have to hang out with you." Tipping her head back to rest it on his knees, she stuck her tongue out at him. "And I'll take you out for walkies if you'd like. I'm sure Steeler wouldn't mind the company. And as for tea and cakes..." A House Elf was summoned and sent for the required refreshments. "And see what comes of doubting my abilities, Black?" She gave him a cheeky grin, upside down as she craned her neck back to meet his eyes. "That logic can transfer to other areas. Just think about it, yeah?"
She paused for a moment, then, taking his out, she turned around and placed her hands palms up on his legs. The scar on her left stood out, smooth and ugly against her pale skin. "All right, Black," she teased, "show me your skills." Ah, American slang.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-19 01:46 am (UTC)James had made everything more fun. Whether it had been in their dormitory or in detention, he and James had always managed to find a good time in it somewhere. It was one of the things Sirius had liked the most about James - that James had always kept him laughing. Even after they had left school and had committed their lives to the fight against Voldemort and the Death Eaters, they had always been able to find laughs together. Lily had been a part of it by then, too, and Remus, and, as much as Sirius hated to admit it, Peter.
After James had died, there was no one for Sirius to laugh with, nothing for him to laugh about. It was such a cold, empty feeling, only intensified by the Dementors.
And in the same way that James's company, his friendship, his humour had always made Sirius smile even under the direst of circumstances, joking about that with Lily kept the smile on Sirius's face. He still ached for his best friend, and he still felt as if what had happened with the other James had torn his soul into a million sharp pieces, but it also just felt nice to laugh about the memories with Lily.
Sirius tugged on the end of a lock of copper-coloured hair as she tilted her head back at him. "Which is exactly why you should be glad to be hanging out with me. You provide the nourishment, and I provide the laughs. And...well, I dunno if you really could take on the likes of me, but...you sure kept James happy enough, that I have to admit." He smiled down at her. It was a naughty smile, but his eyes were soft and tender at the thought of how James had been happy. Sirius wouldn't have wished anything else for his best friend.
The house-elf returned with the requested goods, and Sirius immediately took a large cake and shoved it into his mouth. After swallowing it down, he gripped Lily's hands and ran his thumbs across her palms, tracing the lines running across them.
"Right. So...first of all, you've got very wonky-looking life lines, but that shouldn't come as too much of a surprise, now should it?" He looked up from Lily's palms to give her a brief eyeroll. "Now, this line here - " he gripped her left hand and pointed at a tiny crease near her wrist " - this line, see how it's got a slight curve in it? That means...it means you need to stop studying so much and have some fun. And this line - " he ran a finger lightly down her scar " - means you're a complete badass - " he attempted the last few words in an American accent " - and could probably kick my arse any day." He moved his fingers to hers. "Finally, all these lines on the insides of your fingers mean that you're dying to fix me a cup of tea and a small bowl of dog food while I inspect your telly and try a few charms to get it up in the air."
Grinning expectantly, he looked back up at at Lily.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-19 05:45 am (UTC)Honestly, Lily couldn't imagine what her life would have been without James, without Sirius and Remus and...and Peter. Duller, that was for sure. Even in the midst of terror and darkness and constant worry, James had always made her laugh. Could always poke a smile out of her, even when she honestly couldn't find a thing worth smiling about. In the end, he'd been her world. Fiercely independent Lily Evans had been completely taken in by the arrogant, infuriating James Potter. If someone had told her she would fall so deeply, so willingly into love, she'd have thought a Babbling Draught was behind it. But she had, with him, and it had been something amazing and wonderful and fun.
And Sirius had been there for it. He knew, he remembered, and Lily could talk about it with Sirius without feeling guilty or having to explain everything. She knew Sirius would understand, and that knowledge was going a long way towards helping her move past the paralyzing grief she felt whenever someone mentioned James' name.
"He made me happy, too," Lily said simply. Her eyes held Sirius' for a moment, a bittersweet sort of ache in them. Then she grinned. "Oh, so I'm only good to provide the food, am I? Hate to break it to you, Black, but you're not as amusing as you suppose yourself."
As Sirius 'read' her palms, Lily tried to repress a smile. Nodding sagely, she snorted slightly at being called 'badass' and couldn't quite stop a soft chuckle at his request for tea and dog food. "Ahh," she murmured, looking down at her own hands as if she'd never considered them before. "Now, see, I can't imagine why you weren't top of the class in Divination, skills like that."
Breaking into a grin, Lily stood smoothly and kissed Sirius' forehead. "Fine," she smirked down at him, "tea and dog food it is. Now why can't I have a normal best mate, like all the other girls?" teasing, Lily poured him a mug of tea, adding sugar and milk. Handing him that, she pulled out a small bowl and poured a small amount of dog food in. Steeler was far more interested in the plate of cakes, and Lily fed him a Jaffa Cake. Pouring herself a mug, she took a seat in one of her chairs. "Think you've go the charms figured out, then?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-21 03:48 pm (UTC)"Because you'd be bored out of your mind if I were normal," Sirius said as he stretched his legs out in Lily's absence. "Anyway, look how cheap I am to feed. I'd say you lucked out."
He took a sip of tea from the mug Lily gave him. It was quite good even without his usual additive of Firewhisky. And it was nice, just sitting there with Lily. He was sure James was on her mind; he certainly was on Sirius's. But at this point, there was little more to say about that. Grief was tiring, and he felt like it might be good for him to stay awake, so to speak. It was just nice to know someone else understood how he felt, and he hoped Lily derived the same comfort from his own sentiments.
Taking the bowl from Lily, he popped a kibble into his mouth and chewed on it. "Hmmmm. Not bad, I think. I'll have to taste it in my Animagus form to get a better idea, of course." He poured a small handful of the dog food into his mouth and then gestured at Steeler with the bowl. "Looks like it doesn't matter anyway," he said, crunching on it. "You've got him well trained to beg for your food."
Sirius was actually not particularly fond of Jaffa Cakes, and he thought he might prefer the dog food instead.
((Continued in the next post...))
no subject
Date: 2006-10-21 03:49 pm (UTC)After another sip of tea, he said, "And yeah, I do think I've got an idea about the charms. In fact, I know exactly what charms to use. The trick is getting the changer to trigger them from a distance, since it's not a wand, you know? It was different with my motorbike. What I did with that was learn about the types of basic charms that broomsticks have to make them fly, and then I adapted those to the frame and acceleration mechanisms of the motorbike. Before I implemented them, though, I used Muggle tools - " that had actually been Sirius's favourite part " - to disable the Muggle systems for stopping, accelerating, and decelerating. Basically, I broke the bike. After that, I replaced those Muggle systems with charms that would start, stop, and move the bike magically, and then I added the flying charms. Finally, I inserted a vibration charm and an optional noise charm to simulate the feel of being on a Muggle motorbike. But when I was done with the whole thing, there was actually nothing Muggle about the way the bike operated."
Sirius crunched on another kibble and took another sip of tea. "In the case of the telly, we're not disabling any of the Muggle systems, and that makes it a lot harder, because you don't want the two kinds of magic to conflict. I mean, the flying part, in theory, is simple. If you wanted to make a telly fly, you'd just point your wand at it, cast Wingardium Leviosa, and guide it along, right? But the changer is not a wand, and the only alternative is to disable all the Muggle systems and replace them with magical ones, which is not possible, because even with permanent receiving charms, you need the Muggle machinery to translate the signal from the satellite." Sirius pushed his fingers through the kibbles, which made a dry, scratchy sort of noise as they rubbed against each other.
"Unless....hmmmmm. I suppose we could convert the changer into a form of wand, as long as we keep the core physically separate from the mechanisms that trigger the telly, like the buttons to change channels and all that. I dunno if anyone's ever tried anything like this before, but...well, it'd make for an interesting experiment. Have you got any idea what the core of Cox's wand is? It'd probably work best if we use the same material, or something similar to it. Basically, we need it to catch the magical resonance and channel it in a way similar to the core of a wand. But since it won't be an actual wand, with the wood and all that, we can simply charm it to do one, and only one, spell, which would be Wingardium Leviosa. That way, Cox wouldn't need to say the incantation - " Sirius had seen Cox expertly determine the ingredients of a potion (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/847838.html?thread=41593566#t41593566), and he was sure Cox was adept at various forms of Healing magic, since he worked in the Hospital Wing, but he hadn't witnessed much else to indicate Cox's level of magical abilities " - and the changer wouldn't actually be a primitive type of wand, which would be able to go wrong in all sorts of ways."
Sirius was starting to get very excited. He had never dealt with wand cores; this could prove to be very interesting. "I'm thinking that we add a button to the changer. We can even transfigure one of these kibbles into one and then attach it to the changer with a Sticking charm. When the button is pressed, it triggers the wand core material to emit Wingardium Leviosa, and then simply waving the changer around should cause the telly to follow its movements. The flying system would be complete separate from the Muggle mechanism, so it should work...at least in theory."
Proudly, Sirius sat back in the chair and tossed a kibble up above his head, catching it in his mouth and then crunching it up. It tasted mildly of lamb.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-21 10:21 pm (UTC)Settling back, Lily lasted about two seconds into Sirius' musings before she pulled out a quill and a bit of parchment and began to make notes. She quickly grasped where Sirius was going with his
rantthoughts, but, as she'd never actually attempted to modify Muggle technology, the entire concept was new territory for her. As he continued to talk, Lily quickly filled up several sheets with her flowing script and absently summoned over a few books she had on wand cores and the magic behind the making them. Where someone else might have been shocked or taken aback or amused by Sirius' sudden burst of geekary, Lily (being quite the nerd, herself) simply took it in stride. "Merlin, Black, I don't know whether to be shocked, turned on, or check for an Imperious Curse." With a minimum of teasing, that is. "Haven't a clue, actually," she muttered, frowning at her notes, scratching out a few lines and underlining others. "I barely see him take out the sodding thing. We've not had a conversation on wand cores."Paging through one text, Lily continued, "Mine has ash from an ashwinder (http://www.hp-lexicon.org/bestiary/bestiary_a.html#ashwinder). According to this (http://www.theorderofthephoenix.net/harry-potter-wands.htm), Hippogriff talons are best for Charm work..." Trailing off, Lily shuffled through the pages, making notes and muttering to herself. After a few moments, she suddenly laughed, and glanced up at him, a wide grin crossing her face.
"You do realize that if anyone had ever told me I'd be sitting around at Hogwarts, doing research with one Sirius Black, I'd have thought them the victim of a bad befuddlement curse, yeah?" Chuckling to herself, Lily turned her eyes back to her book, still smiling.
In fact, Lily had always known that Sirius was a better Wizard than she could hope to be - he and James, both. Where she spent hours immersed in studying, they seemed to catch onto things with minimal effort. One of the things that had driven her batty about them during school. They seemed to take their talent for granted, wasting their time on silly pranks and detention. Lily had a fair amount of confidence in her own ability as a Witch; however, a few hours spent with James or Sirius always reminded her of her own shortcomings. In Transfiguration, especially, but - as this exercise demonstrated - Sirius was quite brilliant, for all his flippant attitude.
((And, of course, Lily responds in kind with a two-parter. XD))
no subject
Date: 2006-10-21 10:23 pm (UTC)Pausing, she looked back up at him. "Why aren't you a professor?" Her tone was mildly teasing, but there was a genuine question in her eyes. "Or working at the Ministry? You're sodding brilliant at things like this, much more than I could ever be. And yet you're hanging about here, helping me charm a telly to fly. Excellent Wizard like you, Black..." she shrugged, smiling at him. "Seems a bit of a waste, not having you out there, doing something. Not that I'm complaining, mind. Completely selfish, I am, and want you to stay. But aren't you bored?" Merlin knew she was, from time to time. Less so since she'd started in the Hospital Wing, but even that didn't challenge her as much as she'd like. Lily felt as if she was going soft in a lot of areas; going from a life where your skills as a Witch were literally a life and death matter to healing House Elves of minor injuries was a bit of a transition. 'Antsy' was a good way to describe it, and she couldn't imagine that Sirius wouldn't have the same feeling. Or, perhaps not. Perhaps he was content as it was, and maybe she should be, as well.
Suddenly feeling badly for bringing it up, Lily shrugged, embarrassed, and lowered her eyes back to her notes. "Never mind. I mean, you're a grown Wizard, yeah? I'm sure you don't need me asking you that. Sorry. I just...yeah. Sorry." Feeling awkward, Lily flashed a rueful half-smile and flipped idly through the book.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-24 09:00 pm (UTC)Sirius put a hand up in front of his mouth and breathed into it. “I haven’t got kibble breath.” He tried again. “Anyway, my single status has everything to do with my own volition, or perhaps the lack of decent, available partners in this school. I mean, can you really see me settled down? I suppose Jim and I were sort of settled down for a while, but we both knew our time was limited. And everyone here is half-mad, you know?” Sirius had had a nice prospect with Sara Sidle, but then the other James had gone and fucked that up for him. Brilliant. “Besides, I think it’d take a special sort to put up with my quirks, don’t you think? Not everyone is so kind as to let a giant unwashed dog take over their bed every now and again.”
He smiled pointedly at her. It was a tacit sort of thank you, as Sirius realised that it must have been a huge inconvenience to deal with him in his recent state of mind and stench. She was one of just a couple of people who was in a position to truly understand what he was going through, and he was so thankful to have that. It really did make things easier in the end.
Then again, watching her take notes, of all things, while he talked, he reckoned he must be a special sort, too. He didn’t know whether to be flattered or amused. “See, that’s where you lot went wrong. James and I, we had our own ways of learning. They just didn’t involve sitting still whilst trying not to fall asleep as some stuffy old professor drones on and on about Merlin knows what and then assigns you three feet of parchment instead of something that's actually interesting. You should have been doing research with me back then. You would've had a much more fun time of it if you had.” Not that Sirius would have been likely to give her the time of day back then; she had just been some swotty girl in his house, and later she was just the girl James was nutters over. Now, of course, she and Sirius both knew better about each other – and had been through so much together that there was no chance they could ever go back to the way they had once been.
He burst into laughter about the prospects of him being a professor.
In fact, none other than her boyfriend’s ex-wife had asked him the same question (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/926783.html?thread=46322751#t46322751), but since this RP is backdated, that technically hadn’t happened yet! Wheeeee!“A professor? Ha! I think ol’ Binns would roll over in his grave if he heard you say that – and if he actually were in his grave instead of hovering about Hogwarts boring students to death.” Sirius actually hadn’t seen Binns around lately. Perhaps he had finally got a clue and gone off to bore the types who would actually appreciate it. Sirius certainly hoped so.“I’d be the last person anyone would peg for professor. And, yeah, submitting my CV to the Ministry would go over brilliantly, don’t you think? It’s a story that would end with my arse in a cold, dank cell surrounded by Dementors.” Sirius was actually surprised that he hadn’t been apprehended already, but it did seem as though Hogwarts had been taken over by a new board of governors, judging from all the bizarre changes that Sirius had returned to, such as a bar in Ravenclaw and noodly gods as students – to say nothing of Homsar’s professorship. Indeed, it almost seemed as though the Sorting Hat had gone and taken over everything, which was both scary and oddly promising. “Besides, I’d never work with those wankers. Corrupt and plain stupid, they are, the lot of them.”
((Continued in the next post...))
no subject
Date: 2006-10-24 09:01 pm (UTC)He leant forward to try and catch Lily’s eye. “No – I…I don’t mind your asking about it. It’s a fair question. And…and it’s something I’ve been trying to work out for a long time, because…well, I don’t really know what to do with myself is the truth of the matter. I’ve never worked, except for pumping petrol in Reno and all the stuff with the Order. Dunno what I really fancy. I mean, after we left Hogwarts, I never had to worry about it – just joined the Order and was done with it. I knew I wanted to stop Voldemort, to stop the rubbish talk about Mudbloods – ” he spat out the word “ – and to stop all the attacks, the things our people were doing and becoming.”
Reclining again, he sighed softly. “And then I was gone for all those years, and now Dumbledore is popcorn and Voldemort is…well, I haven’t seen him in ages. Dunno if he’s even here any more. And the only thing I’ve got left to do is look after Harry.” And you, he added to himself, deciding that Lily might possibly interpret such a statement as meaning she was incapable of caring for herself, which they both knew was far from the truth. “Which – well, of course it’s what I want, but he’s also quite formidable on his own, which leaves me with quite a bit of time to spare, I’m afraid. So yeah, I’ve thought about it. I just…don’t have an answer quite yet.”
He looked down at his hands for a moment and then back up at Lily. With a small smile, he said, “But I don’t mind that you brought it up.”
After a quick sip of tea, he added, “Anyway, I think you’ve got a good point with the Hippogriff talons. That should serve as a good magical conductor, especially for the limited purposes we need it for. So, we could encapsulate a piece of one in a small, hard bubble within the changer and then link the button to that with a Channelling Charm – you remember those, right? Sixth year? Dunno quite what strength, and therefore what incantation, we’d need, though, which means…Arithmantic calculations. Not quite my favourite, but…hey, that’s what you’re here for, right?” He raised an eyebrow at Lily.
Well, he could always ask Homsar – Arithmancy was supposedly his specialty – but he still had his doubts about Homsar’s Arithmantic abilities – indeed, about Homsar’s abilities in general (except his Jenga abilities; those were already well proven, many times).
no subject
Date: 2006-10-29 08:12 am (UTC)She returned his pointed look with a smile of her own. "Well, then, they're rubbish and not worth your time. Your quirks are charming, Black. Infuriating and annoying at times, but charming just the same." In truth, Lily would have been bewildered at the thought that taking care of Sirius could be termed 'inconvenient'. He was her friend, he needed her, so she did what she could. If anything, Lily felt badly that she couldn't do more to help. All teasing aside, there really wasn't anything Lily wouldn't do for Sirius, without hesitation. And if anyone wanted to chat up her best mate, they had sure as bloody hell feel the same way.
"Ha! Study with you two? That's a laugh, Black." Settling back in her chair, book open on her lap, she shook her head and grinned. "First, we'd have spent the whole time being snide with one another. And, as fun as I find that, it would have seriously cut into my research time. Second, you barely looked at me in school, unless you had to. Somehow I highly doubt you'd have asked me to join your study group." The thought of her sitting side by side with Sirius back in their school days, struggling together to grasp some Arithmancy concept or asking for his help with her Transfiguration was more than a little amusing. "I was a stuck-up prat most of the time, Black. And when I wasn't, you were an incorrigible show off. Good thing we've grown out of that, yeah?" Teasing, Lily raised one eyebrow as she looked over at him, a fond expression on her face. One more thing to be thankful to James about - if not for him, she'd never have given Sirius half a chance. But she'd seen how James had adored Sirius; and, more importantly - to her, at least - watched how devoted Sirius was to James. It was a rare thing to find a friend like James had had in Sirius, and because she had loved James, she loved Sirius as well. That, of course, had turned into her loving Sirius in his own right, for the man he was apart from her husband. Now she couldn't imagine her life without Sirius as her friend, as someone she relied on and counted as part of her family. Good things came out of tragedy; the bonds that she had formed with Sirius as a result of everything they'd been through together couldn't be broken, and had already weathered just about everything Lily could imagine could be thrown at them.
All of this, then, was the reason that Sirius' remarks on him being taken back to Azkaban caused Lily's expression to grow dark and dangerous. "You're not going back there," she said in a low voice. "Not while I have my wand. There's nothing in this world that could take you back to Azkaban, you hear me, Sirius?" She looked for a moment as if she was going to march out of her room and to the Wizard Prison and take on the Dementors herself. Her wand was actually gripped in her hand and the Expecto Patronum charm half formed in her mind. Then, taking a deep breath and forcing her fingers to relax, she gave a short laugh. "Besides, Black," Lily said with a half-smile. "I'm your get out of jail free card, aren't I? A bonified eye witness. Even if the Ministry could find their own arses long enough to try and arrest you, you're innocent. Not that I think they will. Hell, my Gringotts account has been active for months and no Ministry drones have come sniffing around for the amazing resurrected girl. Somehow I think that they're even less effective now than they were in my day."
((OOC: Surprise! Two-poster!))
no subject
Date: 2006-10-29 08:16 am (UTC)Lily's tea was cold, and she warmed it up quickly with a tap of her wand. Taking a sip, she shrugged. "I believe the phrase is 'preaching to the choir', mate. Except I have the illustrious notes of 'prefect' and 'Head Girl' to add. Oh, and instead of 'maximum security prisoner' and 'wanted fugitive' I have 'corpse'. But, other than that..." she trailed off with a teasing grin. "But at least you've had a real job! I've never done anything but study and fight. Even knowing what I want to do, I'm not sure I'll ever actually be able to do it. Kind of hard to explain a seventeen-year lapse on my resume, yeah?" Waving that aside, she leaned forward. "Anyway, that doesn't change the fact that you'd be a good Professor. You're smarter than I am," she held up a finger in playful warning, "and don't ever expect me to admit that again, but it's true. And look at you with this," nodding towards the telly, she shrugged again. "Doing quite well if you ask me. And if anyone could evaluate a potential professor, it'd be me, yeah?"
His words about the Ministry made her laugh a little, a tinge of bitterness in her smile. "Corrupt, stupid, and short sighted. But...they're running things. It's something I'd started to think a lot about, towards the end. I mean, don't get me wrong - there's nothing I'd like more than to take the lot of them and force them to spend one day trying to live under the asinine laws they've passed. Or to have them look me in the eye and justify standing by and letting Voldemort get away with what he did. Or how they can be so bold as to presume they can dictate that Remus shouldn't be given the same rights as you or I. But, I don't know," she sighed and ran a hand helplessly through her hair. "Perhaps there's a better way than fighting against them or in spite of them. They have the potential to do so much good in the world; maybe they just need someone to help them see that. And I couldn't think of anyone better than you."
Stifling a small groan at the prospect of Arithmancy, Lily summoned over a few more books and began to flip through them as well, adding to her notes and beginning some calculations. "Merlin, I hate how this subject keeps coming up," she muttered, biting her lip in thought. "Something this dull should only be useful in the classroom." She snorted softly. "And yes, Black, I remember Channeling Charms. Since sixth year is a bit closer in my memory than in yours, and since I actually went to most of the classes and paid attention - unlike some other people I can think of," teasing, Lily looked up and grinned. "Give me a moment, and I'll have some preliminary numbers we can use."
no subject
Date: 2006-11-04 03:23 am (UTC)Sirius poured another handful of dog food into his mouth and then grunted as he chewed. "I'm really not the settling-down type, Evans, so you can stop with your silly romantic notions." He paused, and then one side of his mouth curved up slightly and a wicked gleam shone in his eyes. "Well, I reckon there's one exception, which is that, ever since I realised how awful my family was, I've had this naughty little dream of finding myself a nice Muggle to settle down with, just as a way of sticking it to them. Couldn't ever work out whether a bloke or a bird would stick it to them harder. I mean, a bloke would shock the hell out of them, and a bird...well, we could have lots of little Mudblood - " again, he spat the word out in a derisive tone " - children...."
The gleam in his eyes softened into a faraway sort of look. "Well, there was this one girl...." He trailed off, lost for a moment in his memories of a summer that had started out boring, but had ended up anything but that. Then, blinking and shaking his head, he quickly said, "Anyway, they're all dead now - my family, that is - so it doesn't really matter any more, does it?"
He snorted at her version of studying with him and his mates. "Snide? Is that what you thought we were? Or is that what everyone who wasn't as cool as we were thought that 'cool' meant? Well, either way, I would've paid you some attention had you...I dunno, not been so swotty and such a goody-two-shoes." His tone was teasing as well. "But you're right, you were a stuck-up prat. I, on the other hand, was not an incorrigible show-off." He tossed a kibble high into the air and caught it in his mouth. He twitched one eyebrow at Lily as he crunched it up.
His expression softened as she talked about what she would do to keep him out of Azkaban, and he smiled warmly at her. "Thanks. Your plan is ace...assuming, of course, the Ministry berks don't decide you're an Inferus." He rolled his eyes. At this point, he wouldn't put anything past the Ministry. "But hey, my going to Azkaban wasn't all bad. I mean, I'm sure the humiliation of my going to Azkaban far outweighed any satisfaction my mum might've got from thinking I was a Death Eater after all, and only good things could have come out of that, right?" Sirius had already been in a fairly good mood in spite of the nightmare he had had earlier - goofing around with Lily had made it rather hard to stay sullen - but thinking of his mother's distress at the news of his incarceration truly made his heart feel even lighter.
((Continued in the next post...))
no subject
Date: 2006-11-04 03:23 am (UTC)He did smile darkly, however, at Lily's comments about her job experience. Barking out a soft laugh, he said, "Hmmm, I dunno whose CV is worse, then." He took a sip of his tea and then continued, "Pumping petrol hardly counts as a real job, I'm afraid. And it certainly doesn't qualify me for anything in our world - and barely for anything in the Muggle world. But I thank you for both the flattery of thinking I'd be a good professor and the insult of thinking I'd do well at the Ministry. The only thing I'd ever want to do was make a law condemning Azkaban. Or maybe lock a few of them up in a room with Dementors and let them see what it's like. I mean, they put people in there, but they don't know how it is. Yeah, they might come by for an inspection and feel a little chill...maybe have a fleeting bad memory. But they don't know." He was silent for a moment and then repeated in a quieter tone, "They don't know."
He was silent again as memories of those twelve miserable years came to the front of his mind, twelve years of being alone and cold and haunted by his worst experiences, playing over and over and over in his head. Twelve years of feeling guilty and hopeless, of purposely repressing every happy thought for fear that it would be taken away from him, replaced by his discovery of James and Lily's bodies, or the moment when Peter blew up the street, or one of many arguments with his family, or the day when he truly realised Regulus was lost to him, or one of the many instances when someone in the Order, someone who had become his friend, someone whom he had trusted with his life, had been killed.
But he didn't want to dwell on those times. He wanted to make happy memories and to enjoy those memories. So, after another sip of tea, he sat back and grinned at Lily. "All right, well, you go about your maths and I will just...." He looked around the room, his eyes finally falling on Steeler, who was chewing on one of Sirius's shoes in a corner. "Aha! I will just have a bit of a romp with the little naughty bloke over there."
Before Lily could protest, Sirius had transfigured himself into his Animagus form and bounded over to Steeler, barking playfully and running circles around him. Before long, Steeler had abandoned the shoe and was engaged in a very rousing game of tug of war with a sock that had been lying nearby.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-08 03:53 am (UTC)"Is it really that simple, do you reckon? Just...decide that you want something and everything else falls into line?" She studied her tea cup, her finger tracing absently around the rim. "If you decide you want a Muggle, is that it, then? Do you think love is that simple?" Raising her eyes to his, she laughed softly. "Perhaps it is, at that. If you want something badly enough, maybe all you need to do is decide on it. Or maybe love is just the result of two people choosing each other." One slim shoulder went up in a half-shrug and Lily laughed again. "In any case, I think you should have a whole passel of sprogs, Black. I'd like to be an aunt; and, as I've no intention of ever having more of my own, it'd be my last chance to actually watch a sprog grow up. You'd be a brilliant father."
She caught his look and sat up slightly in interest. "Oy, don't tell me that some bird actually caught the infamous Sirius Black's heart? Do tell, love." Then a soft expression crossed her face and she gave him a puzzled look. "Course it matters, Sirius. You should be happy; you should have someone to share your life with. Driving your family batty - as much as I fully approve of the plan - shouldn't be your driving force. You've your own path to live, yeah?" Lecture done, she settled back down and re-opened her book. "Don't say never, Black. I'll bet you my last Knut that you'll find someone you can't live without."
She looked back up. "No, Black, 'snide' is what you were. 'Cool' never crossed my mind." Her own eyebrow went up at his display of kibble-catching prowess. "And of course not, how silly of me. You and James would never show-off. Must have been thinking of someone else, then." With a quick grin, she returned to her figures.
Flipping idly through the book as she searched for the correct formula, Lily only spared a snort of derision at the thought the Ministry might declare her an Inferus. "I'd show them that I act on my own free will," she muttered darkly. "Bloody idiots. Take more than some soft Ministry Wizard to prove that; and it'd take more Aurors than they've on the payroll to take you anywhere near a Dementor again." There wasn't an ounce of teasing in her voice. If anyone showed up looking to take Sirius away again, they would be met with just under five and a half feet of furious, dangerous Witch.
"What does pumping petrol entail, exactly?" her eyes darted up to his before returning to her work. "And, more importantly, did you have to wear one of those dashing jumpsuits?" Smirking slightly, eyes dancing, Lily turned the page.
As absorbed as she was in the complicated Arithmancy theories, Lily didn't miss the change in Sirius' voice. Head coming up, her eyes were immediately on his face, expression concerned and sympathetic. If there was one thing that Lily hated the Ministry for, it was what they'd done to Sirius.
((Another tag full of two-posty goodness))
no subject
Date: 2006-11-08 04:01 am (UTC)She'd never been a fan of the Dementors. Putting Dark Arts creatures in control of Wizards considered too dangerous to be out in the general population made no sense at all; not to mention the fact that there was no crime worthy of that level of torture. It was cruel and inhumane even to the guilty. Lily wouldn't advocate even the worst criminal be put in with Dementors - not Peter, not the Death Eaters, not even Voldemort. In her mind it was cowardly - letting foul, fetid creatures like the Dementors feed off of human beings rather than figuring out a fair and just system to exact justice - and perverse. Dementors should be contained, not put in control.
"No, they don't," she agreed, just as quietly. However, all her beliefs didn't mean that, seeing what twelve years of emotional torture had done to one of the dearest men in her life, she wouldn't have locked each and every one of the sodding idiots who had made the decision to throw an innocent man into Azkaban in a small cell with as many Dementors as she could find and throw away the key. Hell and women scorned had nothing on a Witch who's family has been hurt.
About to go over to him and...hug him or volunteer to think of ways to sneak into the Ministry and leave dungbombs on each of their desks or something, her efforts were foiled by Sirius transfiguring into a huge black dog and eschewing her company for Steeler's. "Right. Just leave me to do the bloody work whilst you play," grumbling, Lily nonetheless watched the two with a fond expression for a moment before going back to work.
As much as she complained, she could do Arithmancy with a fair amount of skill. As such, it only took her a few moments to find exactly the formula she wanted; less than a quarter of an hour later, Lily put her quill down and double-checked her figures. Perfect. At least, she assumed it was perfect. She'd had to do some fudging of the numbers as there wasn't a ready made answer for what they were trying to do. Still, Lily was fairly confident in her math. Putting her books aside, she stood and went over to where Padfoot and Steeler were fighting over a sock.
Shaking her head in amusement, Lily dropped to the floor and scooped Steeler up. Wrestling the puppy on the floor, she sprawled out on her stomach, her face now level with Steeler's. "You two are more trouble than your worth," she told him soberly, laughing as he licked her face. "And you have to really go after him if you're going to try and take Padfoot down. He's a big galoot." She rolled on her side, fingers tickling her puppy's tummy. Glancing up at Sirius she grinned. "Aren't you?"
no subject
Date: 2006-11-28 11:36 pm (UTC)Lily...was really freakin' weird! As Sirius saw it, eating dog food was fairly normal and acceptable for himself; he was a dog Animagus, and anyway he had eaten far worse during his two years on the run (not to mention some of the utter crap he had consumed during his time in Reno - hot dogs and Twinkies, anyone?). But for Lily...well Sirius was amused by her
moxiecojonesbraveryfreakitude. Smiling, he shook his head at her. James must have had a laugh a minute with this girl. Of course, Sirius had seen this side of her before, once he had come to know her, but that was a long time ago, and the events of the prior several months had afforded him far more face time with her than he had had during the war and before that.He laughed softly. "There are many reasons I'm not the settling-down type," he said, but didn't elaborate further.
"Hey, you're the expert on love, not me. But I doubt it's anything close to simple; it wouldn't cause so much confusion if it were, would it? Those ideas I had - they were just dreams, silly notions, anything to have a jab at my family. Was I serious about them? Maybe at times. It's hard to say." He chewed on another kibble as he contemplated the topic further. "I think maybe love is about luck - two people happening to feel the same way about each other at the same time. It's - it's like an eclipse: The right stars happen to align at the right time. Some people's stars align more than once; some people's stars never align."
Sirius paused and then started laughing. "Yeah, all that came straight from my arse. I haven't got a clue what I'm on about. I went from having fun with my mates to a war to Azkaban to running away to living in my parents' house to bloody Reno. I really haven't got the experience to speak on this subject." Not even Homsar counted for much, as Jenga and love were entirely different Quidditch leagues.
Well, there was Jim, but that relationship had been so comfortable, so easy, that, ironically, it always seemed to escape Sirius's angsty analysis.
His laughter turned to choking at Lily's suggestion about his having children, and it was only after a few good gulps of tea that Sirius was able to speak again. "Oh, no. No, no, no, Evans, absolutely not! My family line does not need to perpetuate, and I'd make a rubbish dad, I really would. Harry's enough for me. Go bug Remus; he's a far more likely candidate than I'd ever be." Actually, Sirius sincerely hoped Lily would never repeat his suggestion to Remus, as he reckoned Remus would probably not appreciate it.
Then his face softened into a smile that was both wistful and oddly shy, and his eyes took on a bit of a faraway look. "Her name was Amelia. I dunno if she caught my heart, but...well, no one forgets their first time, right?" His face took on a knowing look. "She was a lot of firsts for me...and she was a Muggle, too."
He waved his hand in the air dismissively. "Well, that was a very long time ago. Anyway, I'm happy enough. What I've got now is well more than I thought I'd ever have during the time I was in Azkaban, and even afterwards. Roof over my head, food and tea - " he raised his bowl of kibble, which was nearly empty, and his mug of tea " - you next to me instead of a Dementor...Harry...." One huge piece was still missing, of course, and so Sirius left James's name unsaid. What Sirius did have was truly more than he had ever expected, and now he could only hope that someday it would be complete.
He shrugged. "This is my path. It's good enough for me. And so when your Gringotts account is empty after you've bet that last Knut, well...I'm a generous man, and I won't even say 'I told you so'."
((Continued in the next post))
no subject
Date: 2006-11-28 11:37 pm (UTC)He smiled as Lily continued to tease him about his attitude in his younger days. She had always been one to speak her mind, and that was something which clearly hadn't changed! His smile turned appreciative when she started to rail against the Ministry and assert that she'd never let a Dementor come near him. He didn't say anything, but he was both touched and relieved, and once again he was reminded that he was not alone any more.
Not being alone - it was something he hadn't truly felt since before he had gone to Azkaban, not even during the year he had been living at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, because even then he had been on his own in the house as people came and went. No one had really paid that much attention to his frustration and depression, and it was not something he had actively sought guidance on, outside of imploring Dumbledore to let him get out and do something for the Order, for Harry.
Pumping petrol, however, was a far lighter topic. Grinning, Sirius replied, "Pumping petrol is absolutely mindless. All you do is ask the customer what they want, put the petrol hose in the opening to their car's petrol tank - no dirty jokes, please, Evans - " he grinned and rolled his eyes at Lily " - and squeeze the nozzle." He groaned. Pumping petrol was basically one huge dirty joke. "When it's done," he continued, " you cap off the tank and take their payment."
His eyes went slightly distant and he looked away for a moment. "I know it's not much of anything, but it's all I could get without a proper U.S. Muggle identification card, and...well, and it's what I had to do to earn enough money to come back here to be with Harry."
The look in Sirius's eyes turned fierce, but then it softened as he grinned again. "Merlin, now I sound like some sort of prostitute. And no, Evans, I'm sorry to tell you that there was no jumpsuit involved. I did have a work shirt, though - with a tag with my name that was sewn on. Quite becoming, that one was." He snorted softly. "I've still got it in my room, actually."
Playing with Steeler was incredibly liberating. In his Animagus form, Sirius operated on sense and instinct more than on detailed thought and assessment. It was nice to free himself for a bit and just run around, roll, wrestle, and play, especially with Steeler, who was full of energy.
Still in his dog's body, Sirius settled down next to Lily, huffing slightly, but in a contented sort of way. Looking down at her, he panted and then craned his head forward to lick her sloppily on the face once more in reply.