Message for Ryuuji
Oct. 10th, 2006 07:36 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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Date: Tuesday, 10 October
From: alwaysbeautiful@offworld.set
Subject: What happens when I'm not occupied...
To: narcissusreborn@offworld.set
Ryuuji,
I wrote a fic... or a drabble, whatever they are called when they are short. And NO, I swear, it's not my attempt to become a cultist! >.< I figured if they could do it, though, so could I. I think you probably aren't supposed to write about yourself when writing one, but I had to start somewhere, right? :P
Anyhow, tell me what you think?
Love,
Sarah
Attachments: mylamefic.doc
no subject
Date: 2006-10-10 08:11 am (UTC)From: narcissusreborn@offworld.set
Subject: Keeping busy is a good thing.
To: alwaysbeautiful@offworld.set
Sarah,
The lack of boys kissing clued me into the fact that you're not becoming a cultist. And I think that writing about yourself is called a self-insert or something, or Mary Suing, but there wasn't any romance in that fic (or was there? I want to know what that secret was), so it's not a red flag. From what I know of having to read all those fics the slash cultists pushed on me anyway.
And I liked it, especially the protagonist thinking about if the flames knew her secrets. That was a really effective mental image, mostly because of people saying 'tongues of flame' and the sound that fire makes when it burns, like it's whispering under your skin, and the saying about 'rumors spread like wildfire', all of which makes fire the perfect imagery to use.
I tried as well -- just c/ped the drabble below, though, since I'm too lazy to save it as a doc and attach it. Don't think it came out all that well though since I was thinking of a shy guy passing a girl a letter and well, read it for yourself and see where it went wrong.
~Ryuuji
If you're reading this, I'm not dead.
I'm probably standing in front of you. Fidgeting. Shuffling from foot to foot. Maybe blushing a little.
...I hope I'm not blushing. That would be embarrassing. If I am, can you tell me that kindly before you keep reading?
Okay. Good.
Hi.
I think you're amazing. You're smart, you're funny and you're so beautiful that I set my pen on fire just because I was so distracted by looking at you that I didn't realize that I was holding it too close to the Bunsen Burner. You can think of it as a sacrifice to your shrine, if you like. The one you ought to have, because you surely must be a goddess on earth -- nothing human could be so divine in every aspect.
It's rather a crummy sacrifice, though. I'd like to offer you something better. For example, movie tickets, burnt at your altar, to symbolically destroy a fictional heroine that could never measure up to you. But to do that, I'd have to get movie tickets first...
So, would you like to go to a movie with me?