Devil-mails from Dib

[dib-worm.livejournal.com]

Professor Maturin:

I hope that the talisman is working well. I have returned to campus and I think I'm sufficiently recovered to resume academic life.

Please let me know if there's anything more you need for me or that I can do for you.

Respectfully,
Dib- Gryffindor



Professor Malfoy:

Apologies for my extended absence; I am ready to resume tutoring with you if you're still interested in having me as your student.

Please let me know if you would like to continue, and what schedule you'd like to resume with if you do.

Respectfully,
Dib - Gryffindor



Hey, space-boy

Sure looks like the school's still standing to me! What's the matter, you run out of moneys in your mighty Irken BANK ACCOUNT again? Couldn't find a AC-DC adapter for your death machines?

You blew it.

Earth forever,
Dib!



Hey, God. (What title am I supposed to properly address You with anyway? You didn't seem like you wanted the whole Holy of Holies and Almighty and all that stuff....)

You were there for me when I needed you. And if there's anything I can ever do for you in return... -please- let me know. I mean, I know it sounds kinda SILLY saying that to you, since you don't really -need- anything but... you know what I mean. I think.

Dib

Comments

[zimmyeatworld.livejournal.com]

Pitiful human earthstink,

Perhaps your weak human eyes are failing you, because my plans to conquer this stupid human school are already in motion! Being so hideously distorted must have altered your squishy, pathetic brainmeats, if you can't see the great doom that is about to befall you and the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE! HAHAHAHAHAHA


With hatred,
The fantastic and flawless Invader ZIM

[dib-worm.livejournal.com]

VERY VERY TINY IRKEN FIEND,

Perhaps you've forgotten that we had a -bet-, Zim. Pay up; you owe me ice cream. I prefer strawberry.

Told you you couldn't do it,
DIB

[zimmyeatworld.livejournal.com]

Foolish stupid huuuuuman,

I have not failed at your stupid human "bet-ting", fool! If you'd open your hideous, gooey white eyes perhaps you'd see that everyone in this smelly castle is already BOWING TO ME! BOW BEFORE ZIM! It is YOU who refuses to see my majesty!

ZIM FAILS AT NOTHING! NOTHING!


Almightily,
Invader ZIIIIIIM

[dib-worm.livejournal.com]

(YAY DEPRESSION.)

Rancid little Irken toad:

Funny, I see a pretty large amount of non-Zim worshipping activity going on here. I don't see any big shiny banners with your name on it, or humans wearing big metal shock collars, or Irken guards at all the doorways to the bathrooms.

Just suck it up, you lost and pay up,

Victorious by default,
Dib

Return Owl

[narcissa-always.livejournal.com]

Mr Dib,

No apologies necessary, you did warn of your absence and I am pleased to see you back am happy to resume your former schedule. We can even accelerate part of it if you wish to catch up to your intended goals, though that is not necessary given the normal workings of the school.

- Professor Malfoy

Re: Return Owl

[dib-worm.livejournal.com]

Professor Malfoy:

Thanks for the offer; I don't think accelerating the course is necessary but I'm really eager to get back to work. I'll meet you at the usual time at your office. Is there anything I should be picking up to read in advance?

Respectfully,
Dib