(no subject)

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I dunno. An easy cheese is okay with me. Just that cheap, slice-y, American kind.


2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
... Who ... is ... Carrottop? Is that some new demented kid's show? The things they make... Guess that would be Barney then.


3. What time is it where you are?
Um. *laugh* Iiii have no idea. I don't own a clock. Or a watch, for that matter.


4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Why would somebody that old (no offense) and supposedly wise and everything be sexually harassing anyone...?


5. If you are pushing to be in:

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry should marry whoever the hell he wants to - just as long as he's not leading the two of them along or something. *cough*

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I say your evil fucking landlord is attacking you with eviction notices because you still haven't paid last year's rent. You're probably just lazy like me and haven't filled out any of it. But if you say you do, your boss or whoever is sure to believe you. Just throw it away and blame it on ... somebody who can't beat you up.


6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I swear, I won't break out into song every five minutes... I have ... uh. *rifles through random crap on the couch* Some ... thong ... that I'm not really sure how it got here... Ehm. I may have to get back to you on this one.

Comments

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

But I don't have a landlord! I used to live in the Headmistress' office, but now I live in Salazar Slytherin's chambers.

I don't think either Little Tom or I have a use for a used thong. I don't suppose you have any candy?

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Um. Hmm. Then ... maybe some rats are stealing it from other offices and giving it to you? I don't really know. What else could explain massive attacks of paper?

I ... don't actually get a pay check from the thieves of my soulBuzzline for a few weeks, and I used the money I could find on Pixy Sticks for that waste_lock guy. Iiii don't know if he'd be too keen on sharing, but it's worth a shot.

[lil-tom-riddle.livejournal.com]

*frown* You have NOTHING? You gave it all away?! I can't believe you'd leave us out! *disappointed*

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

*sweatdrops* I ... I didn't know I'd have to be getting snacks for... I would've made sure I had... o.O;

[lil-tom-riddle.livejournal.com]

*frown becomes a scowl* Well, now that you know, what're you going to do about it?

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

*breathing heavily* Biked ... to the store ... in probably record time. Almost got... hit by a car... but I have candy...! *holds out a plastic bag of Pixy Stix, Gummi Bears, Life Savers and chocolate like lord_of_dragons reccommended*

*slight pleading/puppy dog look*

[lil-tom-riddle.livejournal.com]

YAY! Candy! Dump it all under the hat so I can get it, please!!!

*happy lil chibi now*

I GOT PIXIE STICKS!!

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

*more sighs of relief*

O..okay! Glad I could make you happy! *dumps candy into the hat*

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Good job, Mr. Cohen!

Are you pleased, Tom?

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Thhhhhhanks. Kind of reminds me of Roger and his random muffin binges. Don't ask.

[lil-tom-riddle.livejournal.com]

I'm very pleased!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Oh dear! Little Tom would probably have loved a pixie stick! They're sweet and brightly colored. I don't suppose you could go dig around in pay phones for a bit more change?

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Uh, considering the nearest pay phone had the phone ripped off the thing at LEAST two weeks ago... it hasn't been used in a while. Um. I can try to bum some change off somebody...

[lord-of-dragons.livejournal.com]

*sees Little Tom's reaction and slips Mark enough money to get quite a bit of sweets* There. Buy the kid some Pixi Stix, Gummi Bears, Life Savors and a bar of chocolate. Just remember--no singing.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

*sighs in relief* *headdesk* I thought he was gonna cry!Thanks ... very much. I'll ... go right now.

No singing. *nods*