(no subject)

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I dunno. An easy cheese is okay with me. Just that cheap, slice-y, American kind.


2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
... Who ... is ... Carrottop? Is that some new demented kid's show? The things they make... Guess that would be Barney then.


3. What time is it where you are?
Um. *laugh* Iiii have no idea. I don't own a clock. Or a watch, for that matter.


4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Why would somebody that old (no offense) and supposedly wise and everything be sexually harassing anyone...?


5. If you are pushing to be in:

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry should marry whoever the hell he wants to - just as long as he's not leading the two of them along or something. *cough*

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I say your evil fucking landlord is attacking you with eviction notices because you still haven't paid last year's rent. You're probably just lazy like me and haven't filled out any of it. But if you say you do, your boss or whoever is sure to believe you. Just throw it away and blame it on ... somebody who can't beat you up.


6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I swear, I won't break out into song every five minutes... I have ... uh. *rifles through random crap on the couch* Some ... thong ... that I'm not really sure how it got here... Ehm. I may have to get back to you on this one.

Comments

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

Don't know who Carrottop is? Lucky bastard.
And a filmmaker? What kind?





((ooc: ZOMGZFANGIRLSQUEE))

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

No, really, who is Carrottop? I've seriously NEVER heard of him before.
I mostly just make, um ... documentaries? Of life... in general. Might sound lame, but ... it passes the time, you know?




((ooc: Haha, ladies and gentlemen, we have a Renthead on the loose.))

[conriocht.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, an American cheese fan. That's almost as bad as Cheez Whiz.

Can you offer any other bribe? I don't look good in thongs.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Ah. *tries ... really really hard ... not to picture the guy in one* *twitches slightly*


I ... really don't have that much here. I mean, not too long ago we were burning old posters and screenplays because they shut off our heat.
Uh... *looks around* I could make my roommate play you some kind of bittersweet, evocative song...?

[waste-lock.livejournal.com]

A thong? If you don't come up with something less revolting I'm getting out the Squibhammer.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

((ooc: Hey, my computer just decided to randomly shut down while I was replying to this. That's kind of fun. Aaand I just wanted to say that you just kind of made my day for being Johnny.))

Squibhammer??

*Haha, Mark? I would think quickly...*

Um ...

...

Got any annoying Akitasdogs you need gotten rid of?
Honestly, I wish I had something better to offer, but I really do not have anything that would most likely appeal to you.
*headdesk*

[kayewinnet.livejournal.com]

You seem like a nice guy. Gryffindor is where the nice guys who aren't doctors go.

((ooc- can I just second the Rent fangirl squee??))

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Okay - this is a good sign...! Thanks ... er, I didn't get your name?


((ooc: That's why I made him! :D Rent is really a drug; it's kind of sad.))

[researcher42.livejournal.com]

I think I'd like you. Your answer to the paperwork question is... well, pretty much exactly what I would do.

Not sure where to sort you... What house do you want to be in?

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

I really couldn't care much, as long as it's not like ... the 'Mary Sue' ... houses. Sparklypoo sounds kind of no less than ... beyond scary.

Could flip a coin.

[squeegeetodd.livejournal.com]

((Can I third the fangirl squee?))
I like your Gryffindor answer best, so... um... Gryffindor. Yep.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

((Yuhduh. If anyone has a right to squee ... it's Squee! xD))

Uh ... thanks!

[csi-sara.livejournal.com]

Are you going to wear the thong?

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

*blanches*

I ... don't think I'm that desperate.
No, really. In this neighborhood... I'd be surprised if I didn't get some kind of STD from just touching it. It's ... only mildly uncanny.

[chuck-weasley.livejournal.com]

I think 'd like 't keep y' around... *grins*

Gryffindor

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Nice; thanks!

[glory-god.livejournal.com]

You have a somewhat unimpressive vibe, but I'm sure we could come to some sort of arrangement. For my vote.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

*can't help but stare some* *he is a guy, after all*

Um. That depends. What kind of ... 'arrangement' were YOU thinking of?

[trevor-goodchld.livejournal.com]

You aren't Slytherin material nor useful enough to be in Hufflepuff, which leaves Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. Hmm. I think Gryffindor. You seem to be the impulsive type.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

From what I've been hearing of the Slytherin people, I kind of think I'd get my ass kicked if I was in there anyway.

[icchan-nyoroyo.livejournal.com]

Gryffindor.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Whatever works. *nod*

[nekotheinsane.livejournal.com]

Gryffindor...though I'll pass on the STD-ridden thong bribe. I'll settle for no singing and keeping the STD-ridden thong far away from me.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Um. Yeah, that's probably the best idea. I've already thrown it away. I really don't know if I WANT to know how it got here.

[catremistrae.livejournal.com]

Hufflepuff. You can keep Kaylee amused.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of wishing this wasn't the only Hufflepuff vote - she seems very nice. I'd love to hang out with her more.

vote

[estebanmd.livejournal.com]

You are definitely not Ravenclaw material. You may go and eat your inferior cheeses in Gryffindor.

Re: vote

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I'm sorry I can't afford anything but my ... "inferior cheeses". I don't ever want to get hooked on them because... talk about luxury.

Ravenclaw

[lord-of-dragons.livejournal.com]

Ravenclaw--I'll take the bribe of not breaking out into song every five minutes, thank-you.

[[OOC! SQUEEE!! >3 I'm loving the recent applicants. <3 Dead-on IC, and just...fun, hilarious, and whee!]]

Re: Ravenclaw

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

A couple of people are picking up on that bribe. *sweatdrops*


((Hee! I'm glad I could amuse you! I'm also glad to hear that this is IC, because I get way too nervous about not being in it o.O;))

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

But I don't have a landlord! I used to live in the Headmistress' office, but now I live in Salazar Slytherin's chambers.

I don't think either Little Tom or I have a use for a used thong. I don't suppose you have any candy?

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Um. Hmm. Then ... maybe some rats are stealing it from other offices and giving it to you? I don't really know. What else could explain massive attacks of paper?

I ... don't actually get a pay check from the thieves of my soulBuzzline for a few weeks, and I used the money I could find on Pixy Sticks for that waste_lock guy. Iiii don't know if he'd be too keen on sharing, but it's worth a shot.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Ah, Mr. Cohen, you appear to have a very brave and noble heart, indeed!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Gryffindor!

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Hah, this whole operation's a bit ... NERVE-racking. I'm kind of glad it's over. I was a little paranoid I was going to be 'squibbed'. Thank you, hat.