hh_mirror

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Who needs cheese when you can have coffee? Cheese can be fattening. Lead to health problems and all that nasty-ass stuff. Speaking of asses, hows about a nice coffee enema while you're here?

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Oh, I wouldn't kill either of them. But I'd much rather give an enema to Barney than Carrottop. He's a dinosaur! You wouldn't believe all the problems he could have without a good enema! Plus, there's no way I'd put any amount of coffee into Carrottop.

3. What time is it where you are?
Time for some coffee! And an enema! At the same time, mmm!

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
...Giving everyone a coffee enema wouldn't be considered sexual harassment, would it?

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Le Malade Imaginaire. And the catchy, also witty thing in the window to draw people in would say 'Blowing smoke up asses since 1769!'

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry should give a coffee enema to both Fred and George. Whoever likes it the most should marry Harry.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
It's because you haven't yet given whoever gives you this work a coffee enema yet. Once you do, they'll feel much better and stop being an ass to you like that. Get it, because you gave him an enema, so he'll stop being an ass--okay, right, I'll stop.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I am not useless! I know all sorts of recipies, and I know how to properly give an enema without doing damage to you!

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
I'll give you an enema. Full of coffee! Ah, nothing like waking up to the smell of a coffee enema. And that good jolt you get afterward!

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______cc______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____cc______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____cc______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______cc_______"

((It is Prima's fault. Go blame her. Stop looking at me like that.))