Neville Flynn, Snakes on a Plane.
Aug. 11th, 2006 02:55 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Application, Agent Neville Flynn, Snakes on a Motherfuckin' Plane.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
What does cheese have anything to do with this situation?! There are motherfuckin' SNAKES on the motherfuckin' PLANE. That's right, SNAKES. Unless you're tellin' me these snakes got here coiled up in a big-ass shipment of swiss, wrigglin' in and out of them little holes, we don't gotta be talkin' about cheese at all! I can't believe this bullshit. Motherfuckin' snakes.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Bitch, I've got two hands. One gun in each hand means they can both die at the same time, if they're in the same motherfuckin' place! Shit, let them deal with the damn snakes. Barney can sing some bullshit song about love and togetherness, and Carrot Top can be bait, with his damn fool ugly old wire-brush head.
3. What time is it where you are?
It's always snake-killin' time.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I don't got no time for harassin' nobody! There are snakes on this plane, motherfucker, and they done already killed the two kids joinin' the mile high in the lav at the back of coach class! I ain't no damn fool!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Snakes in a Shotglass. I shot a Cobra with a spear-gun. What makes you think I'm gonna waste my time mixing drinks?
B. Gryffindor ā Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
The greatest fuckin' thing about twins is -- okay, the greatest fuckin' thing about twins ain't fit for print, but the second greatest thing about twins is that IF ONE OF THEM gets bit by a motherfuckin' snake, it DON'T MATTER 'cause you still got the other one. It's like havin' a goddamn back-up disk.
C. Ravenclaw ā You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though Iām constantly disposing of it.
It's those motherfuckin' snakes!
D. Hufflepuff ā Prove you are not useless.
Parseltongue, motherfucker.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Listen. It's simple. If you wanna live, you do what I say. I'm fuckin' good at killin' things. It's what I do best. That, and play monopoly. I get boardwalk every time. But the point is, you don't want some bitch-ass snake bitin' your ass and killin' you dead, you gon' trust me. I'mma get you out of trouble safe and sound. Just think of me like bubble wrap, and you're like some fancy china dishes, and them snakes, they the pot-holes all through the ghetto your delivery truck gots to go through 'fore you get where you need to be. Got it?
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. KM
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. KM
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. KM
One day, marmalade will rule the world. KM
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
What does cheese have anything to do with this situation?! There are motherfuckin' SNAKES on the motherfuckin' PLANE. That's right, SNAKES. Unless you're tellin' me these snakes got here coiled up in a big-ass shipment of swiss, wrigglin' in and out of them little holes, we don't gotta be talkin' about cheese at all! I can't believe this bullshit. Motherfuckin' snakes.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Bitch, I've got two hands. One gun in each hand means they can both die at the same time, if they're in the same motherfuckin' place! Shit, let them deal with the damn snakes. Barney can sing some bullshit song about love and togetherness, and Carrot Top can be bait, with his damn fool ugly old wire-brush head.
3. What time is it where you are?
It's always snake-killin' time.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I don't got no time for harassin' nobody! There are snakes on this plane, motherfucker, and they done already killed the two kids joinin' the mile high in the lav at the back of coach class! I ain't no damn fool!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
B. Gryffindor ā Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
The greatest fuckin' thing about twins is -- okay, the greatest fuckin' thing about twins ain't fit for print, but the second greatest thing about twins is that IF ONE OF THEM gets bit by a motherfuckin' snake, it DON'T MATTER 'cause you still got the other one. It's like havin' a goddamn back-up disk.
C. Ravenclaw ā You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though Iām constantly disposing of it.
It's those motherfuckin' snakes!
D. Hufflepuff ā Prove you are not useless.
Parseltongue, motherfucker.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Listen. It's simple. If you wanna live, you do what I say. I'm fuckin' good at killin' things. It's what I do best. That, and play monopoly. I get boardwalk every time. But the point is, you don't want some bitch-ass snake bitin' your ass and killin' you dead, you gon' trust me. I'mma get you out of trouble safe and sound. Just think of me like bubble wrap, and you're like some fancy china dishes, and them snakes, they the pot-holes all through the ghetto your delivery truck gots to go through 'fore you get where you need to be. Got it?
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. KM
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. KM
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. KM
One day, marmalade will rule the world. KM
Gryffindor
Date: 2006-08-11 07:01 am (UTC)preferably someplace where Salazar won't think I did it.Re: Gryffindor
Date: 2006-08-11 07:03 am (UTC)Re: Gryffindor
From:Re: Gryffindor
From:Re: Gryffindor
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:02 am (UTC)...Ray Arnold? What in the world? I wouldn't think you'd want to come within a hundred miles of another reptile after Jurassic Park!
no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:06 am (UTC)What the hell you talkin' 'bout? Isn't Ray Arnold some cheap-ass white-boy actor? Name's Flynn. Neville Flynn. I'm with the FBI, an that ain't no joke.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:Vote: Slytherin.
From:Re: Vote: Slytherin.
From:Re: Vote: Slytherin.
From:Re: Vote: Slytherin.
From:Re: Vote: Slytherin.
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:13 am (UTC)((See? Flynn can be a ladykiller - oh-HO bad wording - when he wants to be.))
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:Vote: Gryffindor
From:Re: Vote: Gryffindor
From:Re: Vote: Gryffindor
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:VOTE: GRYFFINDOR
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:32 am (UTC)At least your plane ain't got no motherfuckin' snakes.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:Vote: Slytherin
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:24 am (UTC)Why can't we kill our own snakes?
no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:26 am (UTC)...
...look like a man.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:27 am (UTC)[Well, helloooooo!]
no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 09:01 am (UTC)I like to play Monopoly, too. But my strategy is usually to go for the small-price properties and then build many houses and hotels on them. Do you want to play sometime? Homsar and I usually play Monopoly on Friday mornings.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-12 05:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 09:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 10:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-12 05:13 pm (UTC)Vote: Gryffindor.
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 12:41 pm (UTC)I don't rightly understand half of what you're saying, sir, but if you can keep the snakes out of here, I'll gladly vote you into Gryffindor.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-12 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 02:51 pm (UTC)Gryffindor. Don't suppose you know anything about the king cobra that just applied?
no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-12 05:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 07:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-12 05:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-08-11 11:00 pm (UTC)((My German friend would probably kill me for that little neologism, but it's Franz, and he's nowhere near sane anyway.))
Vote: Gryffindor
Date: 2006-08-14 06:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-15 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 02:53 am (UTC)Welcome to Gryffindor.