Owl to Cox
Jul. 26th, 2006 03:05 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
lilypotter60.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hh_mirror(One day after Lily's conversation with Cox she sends an owl. Well, to be more exact, she writes at least seven versions of the letter, tears them all up, starts over, almost chucks the whole idea, and then sends this one.)
Heavily warded owl, charmed to turn into a paper pony if opened by anyone other than Perry Cox
Cox ~
So, Ginger, I'm thinking that since you've apparently not spent nearly enough time outside the castle, we should head down to Hogsmead. There's a pub called The Three Broomsticks that's quite nice - well, it was the last time I was there. Could be a hole in the wall by now...in which case we'll call it 'rustic' and use a Scourgify charm on all the dishes.
Now that I've picked the spot, I do believe it's your duty as the bloke to choose the date and time. I'm rather free - my pressing schedule of wandering about the castle aimlessly, digging through the library, and speaking inappropriately to random men in Sortings is actually quite flexible. Just let me know, love.
And please don't say you've changed your mind.
~ Lily
Heavily warded owl, charmed to turn into a paper pony if opened by anyone other than Perry Cox
Cox ~
So, Ginger, I'm thinking that since you've apparently not spent nearly enough time outside the castle, we should head down to Hogsmead. There's a pub called The Three Broomsticks that's quite nice - well, it was the last time I was there. Could be a hole in the wall by now...in which case we'll call it 'rustic' and use a Scourgify charm on all the dishes.
Now that I've picked the spot, I do believe it's your duty as the bloke to choose the date and time. I'm rather free - my pressing schedule of wandering about the castle aimlessly, digging through the library, and speaking inappropriately to random men in Sortings is actually quite flexible. Just let me know, love.
~ Lily
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Return pony to Lily, heavily warded
Date: 2006-07-26 03:14 pm (UTC)Lily,
I have pretty much no idea what you're talking about, sorry.
Who are you, again?
-Dr. Cox
PS: Tomorrow night, 7. Where should I pick you up?
PPS: This is Red Baron. He's thrilled to meet you. You just send him back to me for now, he's had a long day, and I won't have any unsupervised riding going on here.
Return pony to Cox, heavily warded
Date: 2006-07-26 06:58 pm (UTC)Cox ~
Oh, sorry. Met a dashingly handsome man at a Sorting the other day. He said his name was Cox, I thought...perhaps it was Dick. Or Richard...
No matter! Ta!
~ Lily
P.S. Sounds brilliant. Meet me in the common room?
P.P.S. Red Baron is completely adorable. We had tea. Mr. Quackers and William thought him very greedy with the Jaffa Cakes, but Phillip was gracious enough to share his apples. I sent a bit back of everything he liked. Poor pony was famished! You must not be feeding him well. Of course I didn't ride him, Ginger. Wouldn't be any fun to do it alone, now would it?
Return owl to Lily, heavily warded
Date: 2006-07-26 07:52 pm (UTC)Dashingly handsome, huh? That's a funny coincidence.
-Cox
PS: Ravenclaw?
PPS: You gave my pony cake? Come on, he's already fat enough. Thanks for the gift, though. I'm keeping the people food, RB is getting the grass and all but one of the apples. I'm saving one to shine up all pretty and leave on Ms. Nutter's desk so she'll stop hating my guts.
PPPS: I had to write this like three times because some patient kept getting blood on it. What is it with sick people? Seriously.
Return owl to Cox, charmed to turn into a screeching monkey if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-26 09:37 pm (UTC)Indeed, he was. Now, don't get a girl's hopes up - are you saying that you too are dashingly handsome in addition to having a name that lends itself to all sorts of delicious off-colour humour? Be still my heart!
~ Lily
P.S. Yes, sorry. And I may not even make you wait, lucky man.
P.P.S. He's not fat, love. He's pleasantly plump. And he enjoyed the cakes. I talked you up to Madame Nutter yesterday, Ginger. She's really quite nice, actually - we had a lovely chat. She's sending me off some books and invited me round to the Hospital Wing to observe. (Think of the opportunity I'll have to chat up handsome doctors.)
P.P.P.S. How insensitive of them to get their bodily fluids all over your correspondence. Sodding invalids.
Return owl to Lily, charmed to cause bird flu if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-26 11:57 pm (UTC)I actually am, as a matter of fact, but I meant it's a funny coincidence because I happened to meet a seriously hot girl at a Sorting the other day, and I think she said her name was Lily. But that's not you, right?
-Cox
PS: Oh, just admit it, you know you will.
PPS: Ms. Nutter is pretty much the reason nursing homes exist. What do you mean you talked me up? Don't do that again.
PPPS: Right?
Return owl, warded, charmed to turn into a paper likeness of Nutter if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-27 12:19 am (UTC)No, afraid not, mate. Pity, that.
~ Lily
P.S. Maybe just a bit. But only for the fun of it, love.
P.P.S. She's a lovely woman! And by 'talked you up', of course, I mean I inadvertently mentioned your name to someone who doesn't have a very high opinion of you (though I may start referring to you as 'Mr. Cox' for the hell of it) and then tried to extradite myself from the situation by assuring Madame Nutter that 1) You were not, in fact, the Devil incarnate and 2) You actually seemed eager to learn and she shouldn't hex you simply for her own amusement. But if you'd rather I not, I'll simply bring a cuppa to Hospital and have a good laugh. I'm up for either, Ginger.
P.P.P.S. You'll have to do something about that, then. Don't they realize that you're exchanging letters with a very charming woman who would not see blood spatters as a sign of affection?
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to cause malaria if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-27 01:02 am (UTC)Are you sure about that?
-Cox
PS: Knew it.
PPS: One, she's not a lovely woman. Two, I would rather be called 'Perry' than 'Mr. Cox.' Three, I always appreciate not being hexed, but really, I'm doing fine. The, uh, 'cuppa' sounds better. Are you sure you want to come over, though? It's pretty boring over here.
PPPS: I keep trying to tell them that. They don't listen! They're all "but you should pay attention to meeee."
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to continually shriek 'Calling Mr. Cox' if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-27 01:14 am (UTC)Hmm, let me think. Well, I've never been called 'seriously hot', so perhaps I'm just a bit confused. Are you referring to my body temperature? Am I ill, perhaps? Bloody Americans and your slang, I never quite know what you're going on about.
~ Lily
P.S. I do so hate to disappoint.
P.P.S. She was perfectly nice to me, love. But we can't all have my sparkling personality. And I'm sure I could find something to entertain me.
P.P.P.S. Oh, the selfish gits. Really, you'd think that they'd have a better sense of what's important.
Re: Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to continually shriek 'Calling Mr. Cox' if opened by anyone
Date: 2006-07-27 01:24 am (UTC)See, now I'm confused, again, I thought the increase in body temperature came after the dinner... isn't that what you told me? Oh, wait, that was that other girl. Fine, then, she was a... bloody lovely lass, mate, or whatever the hell it is you people say.
-Cox
PS: So far, so good.
PPS: Well, if you insist, I'll do my best. Newbie can put on a show or something.
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to burst into bubbles if opened by other than Cox
Date: 2006-07-27 01:46 am (UTC)If this other bird went on about 'increasing body temperature' after dinner, she must have been giving away trade secrets. Couldn't keep her mouth shut, eh? So, you think she was 'lovely', yeah? Now it's all coming out.
And your American accent is horrible, love, even on paper. Just stick with your Yankee slang. It's endearing.
~ Lily
P.S. Same to you, Ginger.
P.P.S. Brilliant! I love shows. Do you drink tea, or are you more of a coffee man?
Re: Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to burst into bubbles if opened by other than Cox
Date: 2006-07-27 01:53 am (UTC)Well, I said I thought she was hot, but you had to go and try and Britify me.
My American accent is horrible? Well, that doesn't leave me with a whole lot of options, then. I don't think I'd like being mute...
-Cox
PPS: Coffee is essentially my life's blood, why?
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to turn into Jaffa Cakes if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-27 02:01 am (UTC)And I said I've not a clue what that's supposed to mean. Though, from context, I'd wager it's comparable to 'lovely', yeah?
No, Ginger, your American accent while trying to speak Brit is horrible. Your normal speech patterns are quite nice.
~ Lily
P.S. Because I found a spell I wanted to try. Enjoy, mate.
(The owl is also carrying a coffee pot (http://www.taraluna.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/tea%20horse.jpg), charmed to pour the perfect cup of coffee each time.)
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to give type 2 diabetes if opened by anyone other than Lily
Date: 2006-07-27 02:12 am (UTC)Lily,
Well, that was sort of the point, yes. Very, er, lovely.
Give me a break, I grew up in Pittsburgh, it's not exactly high society over there. The kids who spoke like you guys got beat up.
-Cox
PS: Okay, you realize you don't even need to try anymore. You're in, baby. This is probably the best gift I've ever gotten in my entire life.
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to turn into a bundle of hay if opened by other than Cox
Date: 2006-07-27 02:20 am (UTC)Cox ~
Hmm...so, would I say that I thought you were 'hot'? Or is that only applicable to birds? Is there a different term for blokes? Maybe I need to find a dictionary...
Grew up in London, myself, love. Not exactly the dodgy end, but I wasn't 'high society' by any means. And I'd like to see someone try and beat me up. Where's Pittsburgh at?
~ Lily
P.S. If I had known you were that easy, I'd have started with coffee and saved myself a bit of trouble. Really, Ginger, it's just a bit of a spell. But I'm chuffed you like it.
Return owl, heavily warded, hexed to give gonorrhea to anyone other than Lily who opens it
Date: 2006-07-27 02:30 am (UTC)Lily,
Birds? Blokes? Oh, good grief. Yes, 'hot' is unisex. I can't believe you don't have 'hot' over here... So, anyway. Do you?
Pittsburgh's in Pennsylvania. The "dodgy end." But, for the record, I'd love to see someone try and beat you up, too.
-Cox
PS: You don't understand! Coffee is basically comparable to sex for me. So you've just got me totally convinced now.
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to turn into a thousand marbles if opened by other than Cox
Date: 2006-07-27 02:43 am (UTC)Sorry, love, bit behind on my local slang. I've never heard 'hot' applied to a person, anyway - though that could be for a variety of reasons.
Yes. Very much, actually.
Pennsylvania...is that near the...ocean? American geography is not something I'm up on.
~ Lily
P.S. So, what you're saying is, a cup of coffee is an orgasmic experience, yeah? Now that is information worth having, Ginger. And I'm glad I've convinced you - guess all the pressure's on you for tomorrow, eh?
Return owl, heavily warded, hexed to give a preemptive hangover if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-27 02:59 am (UTC)Pennsylvania's on the east coast, so it's... nearer the ocean than Ohio, I guess. I didn't spend every day at the beach, if that's what you mean. We can compare notes tomorrow night.
-Cox
PS: Yeah, pretty much. Thanks for reminding me! (You don't have, like, your own version of coffee, anything I could take advantage of, do you? 'Cause now's the time to let me know.)
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to turn into a paper surfboard if opened by anyone but Cox
Date: 2006-07-27 03:03 am (UTC)Well, now I'm disappointed. Here I thought all Americans lived at the beach and ate hamburgers and bought athletic shoes at malls. I suppose you'll just have to burst all the rest of my happy delusions tomorrow.
~ Lily
P.S. 'S my job, love. (And if I did, would I tell? Have to keep you interested somehow.)
Return owl, heavily warded, hexed to give dragon pox to anyone else
Date: 2006-07-27 03:28 am (UTC)I do eat hamburgers, I admit it. And I do occasionally buy athletic shoes, but in my defense that's because I am actually athletic. And I have... been to a mall. Now I feel like a great big hunk of American male stereotype.
What about you, do you... drink tea and eat bland food and, I don't know, watch plays? I already know you don't have bad teeth.
-Cox
PS: I told you mine, what happened to the exchange of information?
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to turn into an American flag if opened by other than Cox
Date: 2006-07-27 03:40 am (UTC)Ha! I feel strangely vindicated. I've never had a hamburger, though I've seen them on the telly when I went home for summers. Are they good?
I do drink tea. Far too much tea. Excessive amounts of tea, actually. No to the bland food and I've never been a big fan of the theatre. And I'm glad you like my teeth. I suppose I'm a bit of a failure in the British stereotypes, yeah?
~ Lily
P.S. Now, if I give away all my secrets, you'll realize I'm boring. Can't have that out until at least the third date.
Return owl, heavily warded, hexed to give bad teeth to anyone else
Date: 2006-07-27 03:48 am (UTC)Oh, good grief. Now I know where we're going for number two, if I can find a decent burger somewhere in this country. ("Telly?" Seriously?)
You smile a lot, it would be seriously distracting if you had crappy teeth. Actually, it's seriously distracting anyway, but in a much better way.
-Cox
PS: Retaining the air of mystery? Very shrewd. I guess this is my payback for pretty much everything the other day.
Return owl, heavily warded, charmed to fold into a paper burger if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-27 04:43 am (UTC)Yes, 'Telly'. What would you call it, then? And now you've got me all excited, mate.
So I'm 'distracting'? At least it's in a good way, yeah? You've rather a nice smile yourself, truth be told.
~ Lily
P.S. Bird's got to have a bit of a mystery about her. Though I can't recall anything that would require payback, I'm happy to think of something appropriate.
Return pony, heavily warded, instructed to bite anyone else's fingers off
Date: 2006-07-27 05:05 am (UTC)We call it TV over in sane country. Telly sounds like, I don't know, a name for a girl whose parents hate her.
I'd say you're distracting me right now, but I've got pretty much jack going on at the moment. In general, though? Yeah.
-Cox
PS: I meant all the freebie advice you tossed me that I never got you back for, specifically. Remember, this whole thing is your fault, and I'm holding you to that if and when you start hating me.
PPS: The Baron needs to work off some of that cake. Don't feed him anything else!
Return pony, heavily warded, guarded by a duck sitting on Red Baron's back
Date: 2006-07-27 06:34 am (UTC)TV sounds a bit like a disease you wouldn't want to tell your mum about, so I'm not sure the 'sane country' is one better.
Do you want me to stop owling? I really didn't mean to be a bother. (And you're not exactly distraction free yourself, Ginger. Try studying healing charms in the library while reading your notes. Nearly took my own nose off.)
~ Lily
P.S. Ah, I've not forgotten that. Appropriate measures will be taken. And, as I recall, love, you asked me. Also, the chances of me hating you? Slim to none.
P.P.S. Oh, go on then. I didn't feed your precious pony. Though Mr. Quackers did insist on accompanying him. Sorry, mate, just give him a shove and he should find his way back. I'm trying to train him to deliver my owls, but it's not going as well as might be expected. Perhaps some of Baron's excellent manners will rub off on him, yeah?
Return duck to Lily, heavily warded
Date: 2006-07-28 04:27 am (UTC)Fair enough. But we still don't have the royal family, so I still say we win.
Please don't. It's brightening up what is otherwise a very, very boring day. Besides, the animals aren't allowed in here, so you and Quackers here are giving me excuses to escape crazy grandma.
-Cox
PS: Yeah, okay, wait till after dinner and then say that again, I dare you. I'm very curious about these 'measures,' though.
PPS: You just have to put the fear of God in him a little. And by God, I mean you.
Return duck, heavily warded, charmed to rip itself to shreds if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-28 04:57 am (UTC)Point taken. Though we do have a Queen, which is far more interesting than a sodding 'president'.
At least I have some mild entertainment value, yeah? And I'm sure Madame Nutter appreciates her new nickname.
~ Lily
P.S. Ask me again after dinner, then. You should be. I'm extremely creative.
P.P.S. I'm amazed he made it back to the library without taking a nap or trying to eat something. You must be scarier than I am, Ginger.
((OOC: Reposted for typing error.))
Return duck, heavily warded, hexed to give chicken (duck?) pox to anyone else
Date: 2006-07-28 05:10 am (UTC)Yeah, right. I'd agree with you in the general sense but have you seen the jackass we've got right now? Trust me, if you haven't, he's just a barrel o'fun and excitement.
Oh, if you tell her, you will pay so hard, I promise.
-Cox
PS: Okay, you say that and then you wonder why I'm distracted?? Come on, Red, foul ball!
PPS: You should see me with my residents.
Return duck, heavily warded, charmed to burst into a bawdy song if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-28 05:49 am (UTC)Sorry, mate, haven't gotten caught up on my American politics as of yet. Besides, my Mum always told me that ladies didn't talk about politics, religion, or vegetarians. (You should meet my sister - she actually listened to that shite.)
Really? Now you've got me distracted, Ginger. Do, go on.
~ Lily
P.S. I'm horribly cruel, aren't I? I suppose I'll just stop mentioning things like that.
P.P.S. Somehow? I think I'd find that vastly entertaining.
Return duck, hexed to give a particularly virulent strain of duck rabies to anyone else
Date: 2006-07-28 06:02 am (UTC)So, what, does that make me a lady too? Because I think I'm lacking some things... Newbie makes a much better girl than I do.
Oh, no. You got your little mystery, now I've got mine, Red. Deal with it. Use that creative imagination of yours.
-Cox
PS: Oh, please, you know you won't, you saucy minx.
PPS: Well, I certainly do, and so far it seems like you're actually almost as twisted as me, so I can see that.
Return duck, heavily warded, charmed to turn into a toadstool if opened by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-28 07:18 am (UTC)Well, that's a disappointment. I'd rather thought you'd have an addition rather than a lack...
You're a horrible man, Dr. Perry Cox. Now I'll have to tell Madame Nutter, just to find out your fiendish schemes.
~ Lily
P.S. Saucy minx, am I? I - I've never been called that before, Ginger. Congratulations, that's two firsts to you.
P.P.S. Poor residents, then, to be at the mercy of such a twisted man.
Return duck, heavily warded, hexed to give shingles to anyone else
Date: 2006-07-28 07:24 am (UTC)Hey, hey, trust me, there's plenty of addition there. Didn't we already have this talk?
Oh, you are crafty. But you don't scare me. I know where your turtle is.
-Cox
PS: What was the first first?
PPS: Aw, they love it. They're my little bunch of masochists!!
Return Duck, heavily warded, charmed to burst into flames if touched by anyone else
Date: 2006-07-28 08:48 am (UTC)Ah, yes, the wee ickle monkey. I do remember that chat.
You've found my weak point. Still...I
am intensely curious as to what my 'payment' would entailfeel it's my duty as a concerned student to let the good Madame know just how you think of her. I'm torn.~ Lily
P.S. Using the word 'Hot' to describe me. Just full of new experiences, you are.
P.P.S. I'm sure they wake up every morning and thank the stars above that they get to see your bright and cheerful face. You're an inspiration to the world, Ginger.
Return duck, heavily warded, hexed to give an intense contact high to anyone else
Date: 2006-07-28 08:54 am (UTC)Actually, let's just go ahead and forget about that part of it. Just remember, you know, the dinner part that came after.
Red, I swear, I'll take Quackers too. I'll do it.
-Cox
PS: Get ready for more, in that case. (You still are, by the by.)
PPS: That's what I keep trying to tell them, usually about the time they start crying or run away screaming. I feel really good about the work I do over there, I do.
Return duck, heavily warded, a charmed string tied to his leg that prevents him from being stolen
Date: 2006-07-28 09:09 am (UTC)And again I tell you - dinner first, talk of the wee ickle monkey after. Don't worry, love, we'll work on it until you get it right.
Evil man! I'll have to take precautions. (And don't make me lure Baron away with promises of cake...)
~ Lily
P.S. I'm looking forward to it. (So are you, in case you wondered.)
P.P.S. I'm sure they're tears of joy. I imagine you come home each night with an incredible sense of peace and self-worth.
Return duck, heavily warded, with cake all over his beak
Date: 2006-07-28 07:57 pm (UTC)You know, it's funny, I'm usually a pretty quick learner. I don't know what the hell's going on here. You'd think I wanted to hang out and exchange varying degrees of innuendo. It's just weird.
Don't you do that, then he'll get too fat to walk back and I'll lose my delivery service!
-Cox
PS: You know you are.
PPS: Absolutely. I invite them all over for dinner every night and serve up a great home-cooked meal and then we all tell fun stories and, I dunno, braid each other's hair... yeah, I can't keep this up.
Return duck, heavily warded, looking sheepish, with a sign around its neck saying 'Don't Feed Me'.
Date: 2006-07-28 08:25 pm (UTC)You do seem the type that should pick things up quickly. Odd, that. Ah, well, practice makes perfect, yeah?
Oh, yes, and Mr. Quackers could use with some fattening up? Sneaky little bugger, I see your tricks now.
~ Lily
P.S. I am what? Looking forward to it or 'hot'? The former yes, the latter...well, I suppose I'll have to defer to your opinion on the matter, as I really don't see it.
P.P.S. You're a regular humanitarian, love. I imagine that somewhere there's a plaque with your picture on it and some sort of moving tribute and the like.
Return owl, heavily warded, carrying a sign around its neck with a big smiley face
Date: 2006-07-28 08:42 pm (UTC)The duck is mine now. HA. And, interestingly enough, I seem to have mysteriously just had a cake accidentally delivered to me. Do you think he'd like it?
-Cox
PS: I meant both, actually, yeah.
PPS: Good God, I hope not.
Flock of five owls, one carrying a heavily warded note
Date: 2006-07-28 10:09 pm (UTC)Don't you DARE feed my duck cake! Poncy git. Now I'm just going to have all these lovely owls follow you around all day until you release him.
Unless there's a ransom? I'm open to negotiation, Ginger.
~ Lily
P.S. Flatterer. (Do, go on.)
P.P.S. Now I think I might get one commissioned for you. 'Dr. Perry 'Ginger' Cox - A Good Egg'. We can hang it in the Hospital Ward.
Return flock of owls, one carrying a heavily warded note
Date: 2006-07-28 10:43 pm (UTC)Never underestimate how scary I can be. Now, what in God's name does "poncy git" mean? And don't say "oh, it's the same as insert silly British slang here," or whatever.
I might just let you have him back if you promise never, ever to do that "good egg" thing.
-Cox
PS: Baby, I could go on all night, if you want.
Return owl who seems a wee bit angry, heavily warded, charmed to turn into a white flag after a bit
Date: 2006-07-28 11:45 pm (UTC)'Poncy git' means, er...bit of a stuffed shirt arse. Not exactly, but close enough.
For Mr. Quackers, I will concede. Never will I hang a plaque of you in the Hospital Wing that states you are a good egg.
~ Lily
P.S. I'd enjoy that immensely.
Return duck who is perhaps slightly fatter, heavily warded
Date: 2006-07-29 02:09 am (UTC)I almost kept him for the "poncy git" thing, but I figure I'll go easy on you.
-Cox
PS: Yeah, so would I.