Urahara Kisuke, Bleach fandom. Ohoho~!

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I do enjoy the classic pairing of Brie with Beaujolais. It's-- ah!? *smacks the end table with his cane as it lurches toward him*

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Is it common practise here to slay your entertainers? Oh my, oh my. I'll say the bloated purple dinosaur. It's those nice ones who are always smiling that tend to be the most troublesome...

3. What time is it where you are?
1:20pm. Lunch is past. *unhappy sigh*

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Oho! None of that, thank you! *fans himself in the manner he usually does when especially nervous* Yoruichi-san would not be pleased, not at all...!

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Cat's Meow. It would serve over 30 different kinds of milk. *looks put out as the nearby armchair makes rude gestures for no apparent reason*

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Why, whichever boy he loves, of course. There is no need for a debate. Doesn't this Harry periodically save the world? Does he really have time for commitment and marriage, to begin with? Poor boy!

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
What you need is a feline companion to slide across your desk and help you clear it. Hoho! I can help! You may borrow mine, if you like.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I did found and head a research institute, and was formerly a Captain in a certain organisation... Oh, but let's not speak of the past. *leans heavily on his cane for a moment, as if actually requiring it for support* I'm currently a successful merchant. Quite useful, I assure you!

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I run my own shop that specialises in all sorts of rare and interesting things. Tell me what you'd like and I'm sure I can invent steal er, 'reclaim' get it for you! I may even be able to assist in taming the frightful furniture here. Oh dear. *kicks a foot stool away as it tries to hump his leg for the nth time*

Comments

[noble-shinigami.livejournal.com]

I see you're walking again.

Have you a house preference?

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your assistance earlier, Captain Kuchiki-san!

May I stay with you? Oh, whichever you think is best... I am rather suited for Ravenclaw, don't you think?

Vote: Bitchiwitch

[perpetual-smile.livejournal.com]

Urahara Kisuke?

Oh, I know you.

Sadly, I think you'd be best caged in Bitchiwitch where I can torment you without worries.

And thanks for leaving your little experiment around. It's been so useful.

Re: Vote: Bitchiwitch

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

((I'm not sure what Urahara would call him, but since he tends to afford almost everyone at least a little (false?) respect, I'll go with that...))

Ichimaru... *awkward pause* -san. *forced smile* And how are you this fine day, hmm? I must say it's rather surprising to see you here, of all places. And not skulking around being Aizen's lapdog.

[rukia-chan.livejournal.com]

Urahara? What are you doing here?

In any case, I think you belong in Ravenclaw with Nii-sama and I... although putting you in Hufflepuff where you can better watch over Gin is tempting.

[notasmackhead.livejournal.com]

*grins at Rukia* Quite a few reunions going on this week, eh? Though this one looks a bit more pleasant than others.

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

Oho! Kuchiki-san! So good to see you again! I've wondered where you've been. I have dealings with other... businessmen, in the area. But it seems a prolonged stay is called for, hmm? How are you? I nominate your brother to watch over the grinning fool.

Ravenclaw

[the-black-sails.livejournal.com]

Different kinds of milk at this bar, hm? Tell me more.

Re: Ravenclaw

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

I have a dear friend who drinks nothing but, nearly, so I've had much experience in selecting and stocking only the finest milk products. Surely any milk-fans would not be disappointed if I opened such a bar!

[cpt-pierce.livejournal.com]

*trying to stay a suitable distance away from a wooden chair that keeps following him everywhere*

Well, the general consensus so far is Ravenclaw, and you've got the strikeouts for it. You a drinker?

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

*casually knocks the chair back with his cane as it tries to make sweet, sweet love to Hawkeye*

How kind of you to think so! Oho, I've been known to indulge, occasionally.

[dna4life.livejournal.com]

Why is the furniture attacking you? *hides*

[perpetual-smile.livejournal.com]

((Pssssst. (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/435622.html#cutid1)))

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

You mean to tell me this isn't the normal state of things? It all must like me. Oho, and who could blame it! *continues swatting the frisky furniture away*

[ppp-weasley.livejournal.com]

Oooh, a new applicant! I bet you didn't expect to be sorted so quickly today!

Ron!?

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

((Love your icons. *snerk*))

Such prompt service! How lovely~!

[dungbombsrule.livejournal.com]

*Ron sways as if in a trance, sitting cross-legged on a desk* By the powers invested in me by the Sorting Hat the Wise, I hereby declare:

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Tootsitramp. *The desk runs out of the room with the Rons on it*

[rukia-chan.livejournal.com]

...

*giggles*

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

Why thank you, Ron-san~! Quite a lovely school you have! *waves to the departing trio*

[notasmackhead.livejournal.com]

*stares at the Rons* Um... well, I was gonna vote you into Ravenclaw with Rukia and that, but... looks like you've already got in.

Nice to meet you, anyway! *smiles*

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

So nice to see a school run so efficiently~! Reminds me of my youth. Like, a gillion years ago or so.

Oho, and who might you be? *knowing smile* Rukia-san's friend, hmm?

[ryuk-shinigami.livejournal.com]

The moment Ryuk hears the word "shinigami," he sticks his head out of the ceiling. "Hello! Another shinigami has appeared!" He jumps to the ground to look closely at Urahara, then smiles excitedly. "I am going to make that shinigami gang! Would you like to join? This is going to be so fun! Which house would you like to join?"

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

Byakuya had mentioned the strange shinigami, so Urahara is thankfully prepared when he shows up. "You must be Ryuk. How nice to meet another kind of shinigami!" He produces an apple seemingly from thin air and offers it to Ryuk. "Oho, why not! Count me in. Ravenclaw would be lovely, however it seems Ron-san has placed me in Tootsitramp?"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

What a nice hat you have, sir!

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

Why thank you! What a handsome hat you are. Are there any others like you? Are you for sale?

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

My wise and generous and handsome new friend, it has been a pleasure making your acquaintance, and I do hope to see much more of you in the future!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Ravenclaw!