Application for the Bard of The Bard's Tale

[thebardstail.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Listen, when it comes to food I take what I can get. My favorite cheese is the kind that’s free.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Unless there’s a good chance that killing them would win me coin and/or cleavage, I’m not interested.

3. What time is it where you are?

It’s light out. Beyond that I don’t really give a damn.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Wait, what kind of Order is this, anyway? They don’t have any Bodbs, do they? No? Well then, let’s see. Tonks is out because frankly I’ve had my fill of shape-shifting women. I might send a rat Mrs. Weasley’s way, as she’s probably not so fond of them anymore and ~ahem~ “saving” her from it might earn me a free meal. And after that I think I’d send the rat after that Fleur girl…

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

I do my best work in the dark, although, heh, I generally tend to the barmaids rather than the bar. I’m rather popular at the Drunken Rat, though the newly rebuilt Fat Lute may be having some rat problems soon enough.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Mythology, like marriage, can only lead to trouble. Harry should get out while he still can.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Not my problem if you chose a career that requires you to do lots of paperwork. If it bothers you that much then why not switch to a career that involves no paperwork at all, like being the Chosen One? They don’t even ask for a drug screening and there’s always plenty of loot to be had off the bodies of ex-Chosen Ones.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Oh, well, I only saved the world once or twice. Never mind that I almost destroyed it first.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

Well, I have a few tokens and trinkets that I’ve stolen picked up here and there. Let’s see, I have these Boots of Quickening, which supposedly belonged to some Highland warrior called Connor McLaihd. I’ve also got some firbolg armbands, a golden spyglass, a few amulets, some ancient books…pretty much anything you want. Or I could just play you a song. Your choice.

Comments

[branaparthur.livejournal.com]

Hey, a musical man! You got a harp in all that gear of yours? I haven't played in a while, and da'll have my hide if I get lazy.

Give me a harp and I'll put you anywhere you want to go.

[thebardstail.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've got a harp and you're welcome to it. I'll warn you, though, it has a summoning limit of two.

[branaparthur.livejournal.com]

A summoning limit? What? I just want to make music, not speak with demons.

[thebardstail.livejournal.com]

Who said anything about demons? No, what you can do with this is play certain tunes to summon allies who can help you beat up your enemies. ~holds up harp~ Interested? I'll throw in a helpful tune, if you'd like.