Literacy is truly outrageous! [Jem, the Master, and open to whomever]

[glamhologram.livejournal.com]

Jem was never happy without a cause. Weirdly enough, in the wizarding world there were no fashion moguls ready to throw charity galas on their yachts, or if there were, they hadn't been clamoring for an appearance by Jem as the headliner. Nor were there any mysterious millionaires itching to hold a contest for the best music video, with a mansion as first prize (perfect for housing a lot of orphans). Why didn't life at Hogwarts match up to Jerrica Benton's ordinary life? Pumpkin tarts and Alohomora! had their interesting points, but without some cause to champion, Jerrica/Jem had begun to slip into the proverbial doldrums.

Her house-elf backing band kept asking whether she wanted anything. A mopey Jem couldn't possibly be right. She needed to get back to her bubbly, effervescent self. Without Rio or her girls to cheer her up, what could she do?

The breakthrough came when one of the elves offered to bring her a book from the library. Suddenly, Jem remembered.

There are people in the world who don't know how to read!

Some of them might even be at Hogwarts?

Literacy was a favorite cause of Jem's. She'd already held a carnival in Philadelphia to promote adult reading, and [SPOILER ALERT FOR '80s CARTOON] even convinced one of the Misfits to give reading a try!

But how to champion literacy in a place without carnivals, Philadelphia, or the Misfits?

In the end, Jem wound up in the corridor outside the Great Hall, sitting at a table draped in all the colors of the eight Hogwarts Houses, with a big stack of See Spot Run-style primers, and a huge sparkling banner hung overhead:

Reading is Rad!