May. 14th, 2010

[identity profile] im-wacky-times.livejournal.com
... well, worksafe if your boss does not mind you READING ABOUT T-REX AT HOGWARTS while you are at work. Maybe even WRITING with or about T-Rex, OMG!

T-Rex personally felt he was extremely safe at Hogwarts. Some things even scared a tyrannosaurus. Even a tyrannosaurus who was routinely accosted by unwanted conversation from the Devil himself. (The Devil usually just wanted to talk about video games, and was more annoying than anything. God could be scarier than the Devil.) Devil, no big deal. But some things were just too creepy.

Those things were raccoons and cephalopods. Poopy raccoons and cephalopods. Who liked to make really creepy suggestions. Even the nice things they tried to do for him just ended up being super creepy. Like, how could baking a cake for someone be creepy? If raccoons and cephalopods made it, that's how.

And those things lived next door to T-Rex. Well, first they had started just hanging around his house, then they moved into the house next door because they liked bugging T-Rex so much.

Those things were so persistent that when T-Rex moved to a different house, they moved to the house next door to his new house. And came over to use his bathroom, wtf?!

He wasn't sure which was creepier, the raccoons or the cephalopods, who liked to 'chillax' in T-Rex's bedroom (uninvited, obvs). He just knew that the best thing about Hogwarts was that they were NOT AROUND, and especially that they were not living next door to him!

The very helpful Sorting Hat had sent some house elves to situate T-Rex in his "assigned space". He couldn't fit in a dorm room, funky Hogwarts enchantments notwithstanding, even though the Sorting Room had somehow magically accommodated him. Not to worry, the Hat assured him, he could live next to McGraw Tower!

What was McGraw Tower, and whose was it?

Oh, it belonged to some guy named Andy Bernard, who was a human, and not a raccoon or a cephalopod? Awesome, that would be great!

T-Rex was busily moving in to ... some kind of quonset hut with weird magical capabilities and capacity ... that had its own bathroom, because duh, what dinosaur doesn't need his own bathroom? And there were no cephalopods and no raccoons in the bathroom, either! He went out in front of his magical quonset hut to chillax on the lawn. In the shade of McGraw Tower.

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