Luscious Pumpkin Jam (dated to Halloween night)

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

The party was not intended to celebrate Halloween, actually, but to celebrate the existence of pumpkins. It just seemed Halloween would be a good time for that kind of a celebration.

Wizarding culture had a special regard for the pumpkin, making it into tarts and juice and savories, forcing it down the gullets of every magic-user from such a tender age as to form a lifelong habit. The Sorting Hat, being steeped in magic, had also steeped itself in many a vessel of pumpkin juice over the centuries of its storied existence. Pumpkin juice, pumpkin ale, pumpkin hooch. Gooey pumpkin-gut strings, luxurious nutrient-rich slime studded with pale seeds. Oh pumpkins, glorious gourd of wizard's delight!

The Hat had dubbed this party after one of its favorite recipes: the LUSCIOUS PUMPKIN JAM.

The huge doors of the Great Hall were open. While magic kept the chill seasonal drafts from the Great Hall itself, party-goers who wished to enjoy the crisp autumn air could do so from the luxury of a pumpkin carriage. These were quite literally hollowed pumpkins that the Hat's magic had transfigured into full-size carriages, capable of carrying several occupants. Each was lit from within by enchanted candles, and studded with gleaming black jewels, with carved faces in lieu of windows. Several of the enchanted wonders were lined up outside the doors, with their house-elf coachmen ready to whisk students around the school grounds in slightly-gooey, pumpkin-scented comfort.

Indoors, all was warm and merry, and candlelit, and mostly orange. Instead of bobbing for apples, guests could bob for miniature pumpkins, the sort Martha Stewart might have used to decorate a mantelpiece, their tub filled with pumpkin juice in lieu of water. A pumpkin-carving station took prominent position near the doors, with paints and yarn to bedeck uncarved gourds for those students uninterested in pulling out pumpkin pulp. Tables had been moved to accommodate a dance floor, with a karaoke machine placed nearby. Golems inspired by Arcimboldo, wholly composed of autumnal fruits, did duty as waiters and DJs.

From the vantage of the head table, elevated above the main body of the hall, the Hat could take in all at once the entire spectacle. Satisfied, it rapped a self-congratulatory pastiche/homage:

"There ain't no party like a Sorting Hat party 'cause a Sorting Hat party don't STOP!"

The Hat felt most coolio itself, extending a strap to caress languidly the sequined sombrero that lay beside its place at the Great Hall's head table. The sombrero did not respond, of course. It was rather like the hat-equivalent of a RealDoll. Inert though it might be, the sombrero was velvety AND blingy, and that was what mattered.

Comments

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, that'd defeat the point, wouldn't it." So of course, now everything he could think of was soppy love songs. "Maybe I'll try the pumpkin-bobbing instead."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"If you enjoy dripping orange goo," he said with a barely-supressed chuckle. "i've heard of themed parties, but for anything short of a religious celebration this is ridiculous."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

Rory nodded. "The Hat's always been mental, but even for him this is a bit over the top. I've never seen so much orange."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"What, you've never been to a world where chlorophyll never really evolved? Forests of carotenoids and xanthophylls, anthocyanin... well, you can even see a little of that on this planet, but it's not the same. There are planets with meadows like living flame..." He shook his head, clearing away certain memories he'd rather not dwell on. "This is just tack interior decorating."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"...impressively tacky, though. Real effort been put into the ...tackiness level."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"Oh, but this planet does tacky so well," he chuckled. "It's one of the fun things about it."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Is that something we're known for, then, out in the great wide universe? Vast amounts of sequins?" He was looking at the high table as he said this, wondering whether the Sorting Hat's companion up there was actually another sentient being, or just... a hat. And rather regretting that he'd let that train of thought get started.

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"is that a serious question, or an offhand remark?"

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

Rory shrugged, averting his eyes from the table. "Not that serious. How've you been, anyway?"

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

He tried not to let surprise register on his face; it was far more comradely a question than he'd have expected from a sober Rory. He smiled grimly.

"Is that an actual question or social noise?"

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

It took him a moment to answer. "It's a proper question. Except I suppose what I mean is how were you after, you know..." He gave a slightly less grim smile. "I'm guessing you weren't as sick as I was."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"Superior metabolism," he said, grinning. "Much better at filtering out poisons. I doubt you'd survive what it'd take to give me a hangover."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

A sigh. "Thought so. Definitely very - distracting, though, hangovers, so..." ...thanks for that, was the unfinished thought. "Did I really keep going on about potatoes?"

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"We went on about a lot of things, I think. I should have tried to get a sample of what was in that pipe for analysis."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Whatever it was, I am not doing it again. Ever."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"You enjoyed it at the time," the Master replied with a shrug. "But I can't say I was expecting anything that strong either. I'm not about to touch any of those pipes again either. The mashed potatoes were good, though."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"They were really good. I remember that. And the - thing you did, with the chips..."

He trailed off, as the realisation dawned of what exactly the thing with the chips had involved. He hadn't thought about it till now. The evening had been too much of a blur.

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

The Master had realized what the thing with the chips had entailed once he'd sobered up; he'd been furious at himself and at La Fee Verte as well when he grasped how vulnerable he'd allowed himself to be. But he didn't want to admit that it had been sheer drugged recklessness and not confidence in his own abilities that had lead him to lowering his guard so completely. "Just a parlor trick, really," he said with a careless wave of the hand. "You might even be able to learn it."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

This would not be a good subject to spend too much time on, Rory felt. And now all the memories were coming back, informing him that yes, he'd said the cat thing and told the Left-Handed Olaf story and - well, he'd remembered the fight already, but he'd rather not have.

Although, speaking of that... "Are we still in trouble for breaking all the glasses? I haven't been back."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

He couldn't help laughing at that. "I'd hate to ruin your image of me as a fine upstanding citizen, but I really don't care if anyone is cross with me for breaking a few glasses."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Never said you did. I just thought you'd know." He shrugged. "Don't know what I'm worried about, it clearly wasn't enough to get us barred."

A sigh. "And I shouldn't be drinking anyway, I don't think."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

He shrugged. "I haven't gotten any angry messages. Something tells me our viridian barmaid is rather forgiving of bad behavior, as long as intoxicants are involved."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"...she would be, wouldn't she. And round here that's hardly going to be the worst thing anyone's done to her bar."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"you almosty make it sound like a challenge." The Master smirked. "If trashing bars wasn't beneath me, of course."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

Rory raised his eyebrows. "...all right, for the record? Nothing I say like that is ever going to be a challenge. Just so we're clear."