hh_mirror | The Harkonnen-Wolfe Wedding Extravaganza! (with Dethklok!)

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The Harkonnen-Wolfe Wedding Extravaganza! (with Dethklok!)

((In short- It's a giant over-the-top wedding party with a Dethklok concert for characters to enjoy and do whatever- the whole school's been invited. It should be noted that Dethklok's music is known to have a almost magical effect- they've driven audiences insane, raised trolls, caused hurricanes, etc. Half the food's been spiked by Valentine, choose your poison if desired! This was a group-written bit of epic TL;DR with permission received from all characters mentioned- sorry about the length, but there's a lot going on! The dragons arrive at the very end of the party- they mark 'the end' so to say, and are mostly just torching everything but the DETHTOWER, They're not assaulting any random chars, so there's no reason for anyone to interfere with them, it's basically 'under control'. . . =D ))

Certain human traditions are nearly universal- in most any culture, the concept of marriage can be found in one form or another. And in most of these cultures, marriages involve weddings. The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and Lord Valentine Wolfe knew this as well as anyone, and, also knew exactly what a wedding actually was. Although many of the common masses felt weddings to be a wonderful, romantic celebration of a couple's love and commitment, both of these noblemen knew that a wedding was actually a huge, memorable party- memorable being key- intended to make a public statement. Although the exact nature of this statement varied from situation to situation, Vladimir and Valentine were well-aware that their union was making the best statement, which basically summed up to "We're better than you, we have more fun than you, and if you fuck with either of us, you fuck with both of us." Obviously, this statement had to be accompanied by a party of unforgettable proportion.

The two overlords had planned for months, adding ever more details to the extravaganza, and as spring drew nearer to summer, the time to make this unforgettable statement had arrived. The two overlords had planned for months, accumulating an abundance of strange, decadent, and occasionally dangerous details. The Baron's 'assistant' Jasper Hale had helped to arrange many of these, even covering many of the various expenses as a holiday gift to the pair.. Jherek Carnelian had also agreed to assist by lending his transfiguration talents to various aesthetic matters, pleased at any opportunity to showcase his generally extravagant artistry.

Invitations went out in the days before the wedding, all fancifully gilded and embossed as such things should be. These were of course sent to everyone at Hogwarts, without exception, friends and enemies alike- in fact, Vladimir made certain that the dragons, especially Smaug, received theirs (which had been magically increased to an appropriate draconic size), much to the terror of the house-elves dispatched upon the order. Most of the invitations had been delivered by owl, and in case of any Shoggy-interceptions, equally gilded announcements had also gone up in the halls. A notable detail of all the invitations was that technically, none of them invited anyone. Invitation left room for refusal, whereas these requested attendance. Also notable was the mention that Dethklok would be performing the music, including a full set at the 'reception'.

The wedding itself took place in the evening, the better to take advantage of its location for aesthetic effect- this location was upon the portico of the DETHTOWER itself, which had been covered with crimson carpeting for the occasion- and this was the most moderate bit of decor. Between the DETHTOWER's laser show (which the Shoggies had obligingly hued with red lenses for the occasion), the massive urns of magical fire lining the steps and portico, the griffons, the red-and-gold peacocks, the nude statuary, and the 'mutant bats' (which were gigantic jeweled affairs which Jherek's imagination had very much removed from their humble origin.), the lavish red carpeting might as well have been unnoticeable.

And so, it was to the brutal chords of Dethklok that the grooms made their way to Dethklok's portico to publically formalize their union- obviously, walking to the DETHTOWER on such an occasion was beneath them. Their lavish carriage was of course open, the better the show off their outfits, and drawn by massive black horses with flaming manes and hooves, another concoction of Jherek's. The wedding party itself was quite small, consisting only of the grooms (the better to draw attention to themselves), along with Jasper, and Ariane Emory, who found herself recruited in the position of 'flower girl' for an aesthetic balance. She was clad in a lovely black gown, and scattered the contents of a basket of Valentine's drugged rose-petals. Vladimir had insisted upon garbing Jasper in a lush black robe for the occasion, close fitted about the upper body, and accented with elaborate golden embroidery, studded with blood-red gems. His own high-collared robe was even more lavishly adorned, of crimson silk entirely covered with rich embroidery in a darker shade, all glimmering with garnet accents. Valentine Wolfe, elaborately veiled, shone in brilliant, unblemished white from head to toe.

The nuptials themselves were a short affair- Valentine and Vladimir were there to be married, not to be bored by tedious sermons. Being the heads of their own houses, they saw no reason for anyone else to officiate the ceremony, in which their exchanged vows basically amounted to "we will indulge in every decadence, continue to have more fun than you, and shall crush each other's enemies". Having announced themselves married, the party could officially begin! And both knew very well that it was the party that would assure the event was etched into the minds of all who attended- even if that memory was rather chemically muddled.

For, in proper Valentine Wolfe fashion, a good half of the food had been spiced-up with some chemical enhancements. There was of course a great deal of this, all of the best quality, and representing a world's worth of culinary and chemical delicacies. The wedding decorations remained on hand, and as the party commenced, the more ambulatory sorts wandered amongst the crowd. The nightmares were still harnessed to the carriage and designed to act more placid than they appeared, but the griffons were legitimate magical creatures. The nude statuary, which had been a surprise contribution from Jherek, began to wander around as well- the statues were actually automatons. Originally, Jherek had intended them to fight upon encountering each other, but, finding this rather difficult to implement in his creation due to his own experience, Jherek had remembered something about 'make love, not war'- what happened when the statues met was definitely interesting and not for the eyes of children. There were, however, a few random carnival rides (namely a Zipper, an Octopus, and a Gravitron)- these were mainly intended for the amusement of the Shoggies, who were sure to swarm any school event.

But, the focal point of the reception was of course, Dethklok. The immense portico of the DETHTOWER was given over to the band as the night deepened, and as they took their positions (sans Murderface, who they couldn't find- but they always mixed him and Toki out, anyway), Jherek performed a quick bit of transfiguration, filling the stage with 'battle-fog', and creating a harmless lightning effect which surrounded the members of the band, dancing over their bodies and instruments, and lighting them in an eerie glow. Throughout the performance, Jherek continued to provide appropriate visual effects (which became ever more tumultuous as the music energized his mood in its curious way), keeping well off to the side as not to be a distraction (and possibly to avoid and potential glares from Valentine, given Jherek's confusion over proper outfits to wear to a wedding- like Valentine, he was clad entirely in white.)

Vladimir and Valentine had of course watched some videos of Dethklok performances, and, were naturally anticipating the 'results'. As the school's no-death spell made death waivers rather redundant, they weren't expecting a massacre- but they were hoping that the music would have its strange, rather supernatural effect
upon at least some of the crowd, if not all of it. And indeed, as Dethklok broke into their set- which opened with a wedding-oriented song they'd written as a surprise for the newlyweds- there were distinct signs of the music's contagious effects. The Shoggies milling about the crowd were some of the first to showcase any signs of music-induced hysteria, which in their case took the form of some primitive reversion- they ceased to produce anything but alien, unintelligible sounds as they swarmed about, attempting to devour anything in their path- obviously, due to the no-kill spell, they managed to fail at this, but failure didn't diminish their enthusiasm- it was only diverted when, a couple songs into the set, Pixie began darting about over the crowd, showering it with her hallucinogenic pixie-dust- most of the alien cries turned to "ooooohs" as the landscape began to resemble one of Toki's bizarre and colorful musical hallucinations.

Much later in the evening, the pair of dragons decided to make their fashionably late appearance, figuring they could make the greatest impact once the party was in full-swing -- there was only one way to answer the audacity of these two humans requesting their presence. Ancalagon's immense wingspan filled the sky as he circled above the gathering, setting things alight with blue fire. Smaug had taken to the ground and, unscathed by his comrade's fire, set about bodily destroying the elaborate decorations and what remained of the banquet. His own fiery breath soon joined Ancalagon's, green and blue flames consuming everything in their path -- save the DETHTOWER. This left Smaug's adoptive Dethklok 'family' safe where they were, which was all that he cared about. Once the party had been obliterated to their satisfaction, Ancalagon took his leave by wing, and Smaug lumbered over to join Dethklok.

The most logical place for the newlyweds to take cover during the draconic rampage was of course inside of the DETHTOWER- they weren't exactly rushed about this, surveying the chaos with delight as they made their way across the portico. The no-death spell was certainly a boon to voyeurism. From the relative safety of the tower's entrance, they had an excellent, somewhat non-euclidean view of the fiery mayhem, which Valentine was recording with one hand. As he sipped from the glass of champagne held in his other, Vladmir turned to him and remarked, "Ahh, now that's the way to end a party." The night was certainly a success- and far from over in the mind of the newlyweds, who lingered a while to film the flames before slipping off into the corridors of the DETHTOWER for some predictably desired privacy.

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Dialga had found his way to the wedding, confused as to what one was. He watched in silence for a while, then, as the party commenced, he turned to the first person he saw.

"EXCUSE ME. WHAT IS A WEDDING?"

Given the multiple and ubiquitous nature of the Shoggies, the statistical likelihood that a Shoggy was the first 'person' anyone might see was rather high. And in this case, statistics played out as expected- Shoggy 15 stared at Dialga a moment, blinking stupidly. Next to it, Shoggy 29 was doing about the same thing, before eventually venturing, "We think that this party is the wedding!" As if this suggestion was suddenly illuminating, Shoggy 15 added, "Weddings are parties with soooo cool food and rides. The food makes us see in extra colors!" Indeed, the eyes of most of the surrounding Shoggies were a bit oddly dilated. "Are you a shantak (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shantak)?"

"I AM NOT. I AM DIALGA, THE TEMPORAL POKEMON. THE FOOD MAKES YOU SEE IN A WIDER SPECTRUM, YOU SAY?"

"It made us see everything!" Shoggy 29 exclaimed. "I can see tomorrow. And it has sooo many sooo cool colors. What's a spectrum?" "I think I ate one once," said Shoggy 15. "It had feathers! Like those." It waved a pseudopod toward a passing peacock. "What's a temporal pokemon? Do you taste good?"

"PLEASE DO NOT EAT ME. I THINK YOU WILL FIND IT DIFFICULT TO ANYWAY," Dialga said as the steel parts of his body shined in the sun.

"We don't think!" Shoggy 15 replied. "It looks like it would taste sooo shiny!" Shoggy 29 began drooling a little pool of acid as it examined Dialga more intently. "But it asked us not to sooo politely. It even said please!" "Maybe we can eat just a little of you?" Shoggy 15 asked hopefully, while Shoggy 29 stared and drooled unblinkingly.

"YES. I CAN SEE YOU DON'T THINK." What? Dialga's capable of snark.

Shoggy 15 was quite impressed. "You can see that?" "Soooo cool!" the Shoggies declared simultaneously. "You have sooo good eyes," Shoggy 29 said, to which Shoggy 15 added, "But we have more eyes." In illustration, Shoggy 15 relocated a few of its eyes to face Dialga. "But we can't see thinking. Just stuff." "Stuff that is things," Shoggy 29 put in. "Thinking isn't a thing because we can't eat it."

Dialga stared at them for a minute before mercifully changing the subject. "THERE ARE THINGS HERE TO EAT, THOUGH."

Turlough had come mostly because there had been little else to do and Professor Harkonnen was one of the few teachers he actually had something resembling respect for.

As the party commenced Turlough eyed some of the walking statues-making sure they weren't about to attack or something-before picking up a drink.

Alas, it was one of Valentine's spell-enhanced offerings. Turlough promptly turned into a catgirl. He looked down.

"It either says something about me or this place that I'm practically used to it by now." He continued to drink.

Veronica was intrigued by the invitation(s), the fanciness of which would've made the denizens of the Ultra-Luxe casino turn green under their ostentatious masks. The actual party seemed to her as if the Ultra-Luxe, the Tops, and Gomorrah had a wild Jet and Psycho-laced orgy which was crashed by a non-teetotal Caesar's Legion.

For once, Veronica's head was dehooded and she had an occasion to put on her evening gown. She gravitated toward the refreshments and stood twirling a toothpicked hors d'oeuvre in one hand and anxiously trying to fluff her cropped hair with the other while simultaneously trying with occasional sliding glances to figure out how the statues worked.

"It's so nice to have the formalities out of the way," Valentine said to Vladimir, settling down to lounge in an elaborate black and red throne. He snapped his fingers at one of the house elves in attendance, who returned shortly with a plate piled high with a variety of the wedding refreshments, and a bottle of expensive champagne in an ice bucket.

"Isn't it? It all seems to be going so well, at that." Vladimir was comfortably seated in the throne beside Valentine's, his gaze alternating between his new husband and the surrounding festivities. With the arrival of the champagne and refreshments, he naturally found another focus, but once he took his glass and once again noticed the new ring that glimmered darkly amongst the others he habitually wore, the pattern came full-circle again. His eyes returned to Valentine, marvelous in his wedding white. The last time that Vladimir could recall feeling such particular satisfaction was when Arrakis came into his possession. "I know I've told you several times already, but, you look simply splendid in white."

"I do. I really do." Valentine admired his own wedding ring, a lovely black and red poison ring that was at the moment harboring Spice should the reception food and drink not work well enough for him. Not that he didn't expect it to; it was one of the things that he'd made sure to actually get involved in other than simply signing off on the plans. "While you look imposing and magnificent."

He took a cookie for himself, swinging one leg lazily. "I really must congratulate you again on your finds. Jherek and Jasper have absolutely outdone themselves. Once I'm good and intoxicated I'm planning to have a go at the..." He peered out at the ride, getting a good lock at the name. "The Zipper."

((edit for typo!))

"We are resplendent, aren't we!" Vladimir gave Valentine a lingering smile, before taking a deep drink of champagne. "They really have done a marvelous job, haven't they- I had complete faith in Jasper of course. And Jherek's come through admirably- he's always so willing to please, and in so many ways." The Baron chuckled as he caught sight of a trio of Jherek's statue-like automatons, who'd encountered each other and were now obeying their simplistic programming with shameless enthusiasm. "His statues are certainly an amusing gift." And mostly fated to be torched by Smaug and Ancalagon in the not-too-distant future, although it was always possible that a few would end up wandering mindlessly around the forest.

The Baron followed Valentine's gaze to the carnival rides, most of which carried a number of Shoggies, and quite unsafely- the Shoggies clinging to the Zipper were mostly on the outside of the cages, while every now and again an amorphous pink glob went flying off the Octopus, to splatter into a few more Shoggies. . .which generally went right back to the rides. "And I shall enjoy watching you have a go at the Zipper- I am not sure that it's designed to accomate my, hrm, magnificence." He took another drink, before turning his attention to the tray of refreshements. "Now, which of these treats is laced with that lovely little opiate concoction I enjoy so much?"

"And so much better than any wedding back home would have been. To the point, and with an infinitely more entertaining reception. Did I tell you, the only thing I could have looked forward to at my previous betrothal was attempting to get excommunicated? What a dull affair." He sifted through the plate, before handing over what he was fairly certain had been dosed with what the Baron asked for. "Certainly no carnival rides or such amusing statues. And of course, the company here is infinitely preferable."

He watched the Shoggies' antics fondly. They were such entertaining creatures, and capable of such vision when they could keep their attention together for long enough. He could appreciate that.

"Ah, but I've no doubt you'd have gotten yourself excommunicated in a most brilliant, unforgettable way. Of course, the fun would have been over then. Singular events are always somewhat disappointing that way. But, we have so many amusing times ahead to look forward to!" He took the preferred confection, an appropriately-fancy looking bit of pastry, agreeing, "Isn't though? Much preferable indeed." Draining his glass he set it aside for the moment and sampled the pastry, wondering if it would contain what he expected, or a surprise. With valentine, nothing could ever become dull.

Whatever effect was creeping in was certainly pleasant. And the one he asked for, he thought- although it seemed likely that it had mingled with something-or-other on the plate, and might still harbor a potential surprise, which he looked forward to discovering if so. "The carnival rides do seem a successful distraction, amongst the rest. Let's just hope that the Shoggies remain distracted by the rides, and not the statues. . ." Given their penchant for mimicry, the results there could certainly be concerning. . . and hilarious. "Although, on second thought, it would be interesting to see what they'd try to do."

This is your Dumbledore.

This is your Dumbledore on Dethklok.

The gangly old wizard must have affixed his hat to his head by means of some magic. Though his long locks and his beard-ponytail flailed wildly, throughout all Dumbledore's headbanging his wizardly chapeau remained firmly in place.

Even when he attempted moshing, his hat stayed put. His glasses did fall off at some point, but the hat stayed put.

He didn't happen to collide with your character whilst moshing, did he? There wasn't really a designated mosh pit ... Dumbledore just started moshing wherever!

While he had been through much recently, there was no way that he could pass on the nuptials of another lord, especially not the nuptials of Lord Harkonnen. Dressed the formal deep green kimono and midnight blue hakuma he would have gone to court in, had he respected the Tokugawa court, his family crest displayed on the back of his haori, red dye on black silk, a far more sedate outfit than one of his pretty kimono (though, if one looked carefully, the underside of the haori was decorated with a scene from the Floating World, a view of a celebration of sexuality and nature), but one he felt suited the formality of the occasion more.

He approached the Baron, smiling, a small, red silk wrapped box in his hands. Inside, a pair of well-crafted, square sake cups rested as well as a note that indicated a case of sake would be delivered upon request twice a month for a year. "Congratulations on your marriage, Lord Harkonnen, Lord Valentine," he said, smiling and bowing politely while he held out his gift in both hands.

((Vlad's tagging first here, then Valentine will. =D ))

Vladimir and Valentine had been partaking in an assortment of chemically-enhanced delicacies, and were feeling quite pleasant when Yukimura arrived. Although he was lit up like one of the Shoggy-laden carnival rides, Vladimir was still very much in possession of his senses- if anything, they were enhanced by the blend of opiates, hallucinogens, and alcohol. Yukimura may have been dressed more sedately than usual, but he was a lovely sight in just about anything (or nothing), and the formality of his choice could of course be appreciated by the Baron. A fond smile curled the Baron's lips as Yukimura approached with his gift.

"My dear Yukimura, it's always such a pleasure. Our thanks for the congratulations and the gift- and such a pretty one, at that." He took the box from Yukimura, examining the silken wrappings- although not familiar with the specific traditions regarding gifts and their wrappings in Yukimura's culture, he nevertheless could admire the obvious aesthetics involved. He passed the gift to Valentine that he could admire the silken wrap before opening it, asking Yukimura, "How are you enjoying the party?"

"Hello!" Valentine chirped. "So glad you came. And with a gift! How lovely." Valentine waved at the refreshment table, still steady despite being... well, him. "Would you care for something to eat? Something to drink? We can't have our guests leaving unsated."

"I could not miss your happy occasion," Yukimura laughed. "And this is quite a joyous time." To the Baron, he said, "I do apologize for not seeing you as much recently. Things have been quite busy. I am pleased to see you have not been bereft of fitting company." He brushed his hair back and turned to Lord Valentine. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance and most kind. I do apologize for not making your acquaintance sooner." He reached for a glass of light golden liquid that had bubbles rising in it. "Thank you."

"I'm pleased to see that you're well- and you should indeed stop by more. Else, I might think you've been spirited off to the popcorn room." The Baron was of course unaware of just what Yukimura had been busy with, but neither did he feel the need to press for details- part of Yukimura's charm was in the game of courtly manners. Perhaps it wasn't his favorite thing back home, but, without it life was missing something, and Yukimura also made it a much funner game than it was at home. "Perhaps we can all enjoy a night of drinks and other indulgences in the future. It would be a good way to further new acquaintances. And sooner rather than later, of course."

Grima attended the party out of a vague sense of obligation and the idea that he might learn some interesting things about the social structure of Hogwarts. He was also a bit bemused by the purpose of the event. Surely this couldn't be considered a wedding in the normal sense.

It got worse. The pixies and Dethklok took their toll, but the dragons caused actual panic. Eventually, he managed to get into the shelter of the tower.
[Not sure if the door's closed or not, so he's either in the tower entrance or pressed up to the wall, panicking quietly.]

The Admiral was enjoying himself immensely. With his prefect's bow affixed to his head and jeweled bracelets on his arms, he wandered around smelling the culinary delicacies with a flick of his tongue, checking for edibility.

"A traditional Earth wedding! Wonderful! I believe a gift is expected on these occasions?" ZEX held out a small box.

((Because I couldn't resist. . .))

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken, Take the land that must be taken. . .Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken, devour worlds, smite forsaken. . .

Alluring sounds drifted through the dimensions, filtering into the slumber of the Great Old One, whose name wasn't Mustakrakish. But words of the "Finnish Necronomicon" were nevertheless intriguing. . .

Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep. . .

Ok, so perhaps his sleep had actually been for many, many, many thousands of years. . .

Break forth from your grave eternally. . .

But he was 'not dead but dreaming', and, it was getting difficult to stay asleep as the sounds of Dethklok filtered through the weird passage between R'lyeh and the lake at Hogwarts. Awaken?

I command you to rise, rise, rise. . .

Cthulhoo thought this a splendid idea, as a visit to Hogwarts was at least a change from the usual, and he was curious about the mortal (or was it?) voice which had caught his attention. So awaken he would, while paying a visit to Hogwarts- always a welcome distraction from his eternal state of not-exactly-death, and recently opened to him further by a bit of Lezard's godly magic.

Cthulhoo did not immediately rearrange his molecules to the plushy form Lezard had enabled him to take at this time, however, and merely stuck his head through the strange dimensional hole which enabled him to access Hogwarts from his slumbering-place in R'lyeh. His impossibly huge tentacled head appeared above the lake, and as usual, the curious magic of Hogwarts had its effect, and the devouring of worlds seemed like a bit much effort at the time, especially with the strange pinkishness in the air. The voice and sounds had now resolved into a recognizable form- it seemed he was summoned by another band (http://www.goominet.com/unspeakable-vault/vault/9/) , a rather frequent occurrence (http://www.goominet.com/unspeakable-vault/vault/28/) of late. Usually, he'd devour them (http://www.goominet.com/unspeakable-vault/vault/33/), even if they tended to be a bit hairy, but, this band appeared to be comprised of the little friends of the Shoggies' he'd once met. Their sound was unusually enticing as well- most bands made a lot of noise, but, there was an unusual undercurrent to this band's music, some sort of unholy energy- this singer was not like the others. Interested, and a bit stoned, Cthulhoo lingered in the lake, intent upon the performance.

Ari had strongly considered arguing for the inclusion of a gas mask as part of her flower-girl attire. Knowing the Harkonnen-Wolfe power duo, she suspected the entertainment would go well beyond spiked punch. She would have bet good money on some sort of psychotropic addition to the battle fog.

In the end, she contented herself with a surreptitious spell filtering the air in her immediate vicinity, something that owed less to magical theory than to her understanding of Cyteen's precip stations and the atmospheric manipulations allowing humans to breathe on the planet. This, and abstinence from the refreshments on offer, should keep her well under her own control.

She hadn't thought to shield herself from sound waves.

Dethklok's music assaulted her ears. It would be no exaggeration to say that Ariane Emory had never heard anything like it. Immediately, her thoughts turned to advertisement. This music makes me want to drink coffee, she realized. On the heels of that realization, informed by the heightened self-awareness of a Reseune-trained psychmaster, came the further judgement: There's huge potential for re-education using this music as a vehicle. What've I taken in, unknowing?

And, because she was under the influence of said music: Who cares?

She'd care later, maybe. For now, she grinned and cast a brief Lumos to hold up her wand like a cigarette lighter. The sobering example of Dumbledore (in her direct line of vision) kept her from temptation to venture into the realm of metal-inspired dancelike movements. She stayed seated, sipping from a glass of vodka-and-orange that a house elf had made fresh for her.

Happily, her forethought had shielded her from what would turn out to be hallucinogenic pixie dust. Anyone who approached her for conversation would get to talk with a more-or-less lucid Ari.

Truthfully, Lenneth had never seen a wedding. Not among gods or mortals so she was a bit curious. This was not a prime example of a wedding, or maybe it was, how is she to know she's never seen one after all. The goddess avoided refreshments, recalling the warning she'd received when she'd been sorted, and decided to find something to drink before arriving.

Silver hair was let loose from it's braid today, wrapping neatly around her as she weaved between several people. Her gifts as a goddess kept most of the effects of the wedding from bothering her but the music was pounding behind her ears and making her light headed. Making it difficult to focus unless she tried.

Lenneth was pleasantly surprised to see another person avoiding the excitement. Tripping over a couple feet, she made her way over and smiled to the other woman in greeting.

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The Harkonnen-Wolfe Wedding Extravaganza! (with Dethklok!)

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during the concert

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Tentacles alien, ahoy!

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