![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
dontmissokay.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hh_mirror((Application approved by the rest of the SPN crew!))
---
[A man of just slightly more than average height with a receding hairline, wearing a tasteful and impeccably-tailored black suit, thrusts his hands into the pockets of his coat and looks around the Sorting Room with speculative interest.]
When I said I was looking to hole up someplace out of the way, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. But it'll do.
State your full name.
Come on now, if you had the wherewithal to bring me here, you really should know better than to ask such a thing. You can call me Crowley.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cravanzina. Heard of it? ...Didn't think so. And that would be why.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Hm... [Consults his iPhone] Well I've got them both pencilled in, but there's a bit of a backlog what with the Apocalypse and all. You know how it is. Not to worry though, certain individuals paid handsomely to get the job done, and we're one hundred percent committed to satisfying our valued customers. I'd have to say it's a toss-up which one we get to first.
3. What time is it where you are?
[He smiles charmingly] What time would you like it to be?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Search me, I'm not familiar with the chap. Which one would make for the best blackmail picture if I can catch a good shot of us kissing?
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Across the Road. ...What? I'm in sales, not advertising.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Whichever one's the snappier dresser. If you're going to be controversial, you'd best do it with style. Just ask Aphrodite--now there's a lady who dresses to impress.
C. Ravenclaw : You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Sounds like you need to have a good heart-to-heart with your personal assistant. They can be so high-maintenance. But if you find one that really suits, trust me, it's worth going that extra mile to accommodate them.
D. Hufflepuff : Prove you are not useless.
I'm a purveyor of...well, essentially anything. If it's out there to be had, I'll get it for you. For a price, of course. Now my usual channels may be inaccessible here, and I'll need some time to establish alternatives, but once I've got settled in a bit I guarantee I'll find ways of making myself downright indispensible. [Smiles modestly] It's sort of what I do.
If that doesn't impress you, I've been known to rent out the Pup on occasion. I happen to be under a contractual obligation not to bring him along on this trip, but I'm sure he'll catch up to me on his own soon enough. He's hard to keep kenneled and all but impossible to throw off the scent, the little scamp...
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
A bribe, eh? Not really my usual style, but let's see. [Searches his person] Got my trusty iPhone, but I don't think I'm going to be handing that over. Business cards for all my key associates...well, several of them are dead now... [Goes through them, tossing half the cards over his shoulder] A rather nice silver flask I could bear to part with, filled with a particularly fine single-malt I'm not certain I could; a platinum Rolex, an embroidered silk handkerchief, the keys to my Mercedes--not that I've ever actually driven it, but appearances are everything--three Montecristos, matches, an interesting old coin, two hundred fifty hundred dollars cash, give or take...oh yeah, and a couple of spare .28 caliber cartridges with some rather unique properties.
If there's something else you're after, please, feel free to mention it. We may be able to come to some arrangement.
---
I have read the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _DMO
I have read thehogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _DMO
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _DMO
---
[A man of just slightly more than average height with a receding hairline, wearing a tasteful and impeccably-tailored black suit, thrusts his hands into the pockets of his coat and looks around the Sorting Room with speculative interest.]
When I said I was looking to hole up someplace out of the way, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. But it'll do.
State your full name.
Come on now, if you had the wherewithal to bring me here, you really should know better than to ask such a thing. You can call me Crowley.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cravanzina. Heard of it? ...Didn't think so. And that would be why.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Hm... [Consults his iPhone] Well I've got them both pencilled in, but there's a bit of a backlog what with the Apocalypse and all. You know how it is. Not to worry though, certain individuals paid handsomely to get the job done, and we're one hundred percent committed to satisfying our valued customers. I'd have to say it's a toss-up which one we get to first.
3. What time is it where you are?
[He smiles charmingly] What time would you like it to be?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Search me, I'm not familiar with the chap. Which one would make for the best blackmail picture if I can catch a good shot of us kissing?
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Across the Road. ...What? I'm in sales, not advertising.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Whichever one's the snappier dresser. If you're going to be controversial, you'd best do it with style. Just ask Aphrodite--now there's a lady who dresses to impress.
C. Ravenclaw : You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Sounds like you need to have a good heart-to-heart with your personal assistant. They can be so high-maintenance. But if you find one that really suits, trust me, it's worth going that extra mile to accommodate them.
D. Hufflepuff : Prove you are not useless.
I'm a purveyor of...well, essentially anything. If it's out there to be had, I'll get it for you. For a price, of course. Now my usual channels may be inaccessible here, and I'll need some time to establish alternatives, but once I've got settled in a bit I guarantee I'll find ways of making myself downright indispensible. [Smiles modestly] It's sort of what I do.
If that doesn't impress you, I've been known to rent out the Pup on occasion. I happen to be under a contractual obligation not to bring him along on this trip, but I'm sure he'll catch up to me on his own soon enough. He's hard to keep kenneled and all but impossible to throw off the scent, the little scamp...
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
A bribe, eh? Not really my usual style, but let's see. [Searches his person] Got my trusty iPhone, but I don't think I'm going to be handing that over. Business cards for all my key associates...well, several of them are dead now... [Goes through them, tossing half the cards over his shoulder] A rather nice silver flask I could bear to part with, filled with a particularly fine single-malt I'm not certain I could; a platinum Rolex, an embroidered silk handkerchief, the keys to my Mercedes--not that I've ever actually driven it, but appearances are everything--three Montecristos, matches, an interesting old coin, two hundred fifty hundred dollars cash, give or take...oh yeah, and a couple of spare .28 caliber cartridges with some rather unique properties.
If there's something else you're after, please, feel free to mention it. We may be able to come to some arrangement.
---
I have read the
hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _DMOI have read the
hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _DMOOne day, marmalade will rule the world. _DMO
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 06:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-29 08:10 pm (UTC)"You would be correct," she said dryly. "I find it rather inconvenient."
no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 07:42 pm (UTC)He was quite serious on that point; a lot of humans would pay handsomely for the ability to travel virtually anywhere, nearly instantaneously, if he could figure out how to make it available to them (with appropriate safeguards to keep them out of places they really had no business being.)
no subject
Date: 2011-01-31 01:45 am (UTC)"So if your technology is an unsuitable bribe, and since I have no interest in material wealth--much less, that to be found on a world that still seems to think that it is the only one inhabited in such a vast universe--what else do you have to bribe me with? Hm?" She raised one hairless eyebrow.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-31 07:16 pm (UTC)"Mainly, though, I excel at talking otherwise sensible people into doing things they really ought to know better than to do." His own smile was coolly affable and slightly amused. "It's taken me pretty far by the standards of my backwater little world, where others of superior power but, shall we say, lesser finesse have been known to stumble."
He shrugged, calling a house elf over with a fresh Scotch. "If none of that is of any use to you, well, perhaps I'm just not the demon you're looking for. Still, it's lovely of you to stop by. I always enjoy meeting new people."
no subject
Date: 2011-02-01 02:38 am (UTC)Instead, she gave his words some consideration. Her Master, Count Dooku, had been superb at using words with finesse, swaying entire systems to his side. She had been a dagger, to be used with finesse in back alleys, but to be used when words failed nonetheless. The circumstances had not been conducive to learning to bend others to her will with words alone.
"Your other skills have some merit," she admitted grudgingly. "Squibbing, in this place, means exile. Beyond that, it remains something of a mystery."
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 08:01 am (UTC)"Shall we say, then, that I'll owe you a favor--one which is neither trivial nor a matter of life or soul, but a service of substance, payable at such time as m'lady finds a need? I'd add the stipulation that I be free to refuse any request that works directly counter to my own interests at the time." He hated open-ended contracts, and if he was going to shoot himself in the foot, he'd just as soon do it now by earning her Squib vote than at some unspecified future time by way of a poorly-made bargain.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 03:23 am (UTC)"A favor for a vote," she finally said. "So." She flicked her eyes back to his application searching the name out. "Crowley." She smiled blandly (or as blandly as a tattooed Sith assassin could) and purred, "Where would you like to go?"
no subject
Date: 2011-02-07 08:42 am (UTC)"Well, judging by the questions on the application and by the concensus among my acquaintances, it sounds as though Slytherin would be a good fit. But I leave it the lady's discretion." Wherever he did wind up landing, he'd find a way to turn it to his best advantage.
Vote: Slytherin
Date: 2011-02-08 02:37 am (UTC)