Faking Bravery ((Closed, Kusuriyuri/Kurama))

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Mello, Yukimura, even Bobby (without knowing all the details even, which stung) had told him to stop being a ditz and talk to Kusuriyuri. Talking to Kusuriyuri, as much as Kurama desperately loved him, was the absolute last thing he wanted to do. Not because he didn't think it would help, just...

Ugh. He'd think about it when he got there. Just concentrate on finding Kusuriyuri for now.>

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[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri brought up his pendant, turning it so that the mirror faced Kurama. "You should begin with looking at yourself, Itoshii," he said, moving the mirror until Kurama could see in it easily.

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Did the room just get colder? Kurama felt a chill freeze up his spine, but it would have been worse - much worse - to look away.

"Still just a kid," he murmured, staring at his reflection. It was him, a so much younger him, still red hair and the white Inari fox mask perched lopsidedly on his head. Red strings were clutched possessively in little hands. Those he understood; Kuwabara had explained the 'pinky string of fate' theory to him more than once.

He looked closer... the mask didn't seem right to him. It wasn't smiling, as most would, but looked more... fearful. Hateful. He remembered seeing masks strung up alongside the lower temple the day he'd been expelled; to his child mind they'd looked scornful, like they were laughing at him. But they were harmless, stupid little things; he just hated them because they were from Inari, of Inari, and no matter how much the god wanted to reconcile he'd pushed away. Because he was selfish, because he hadn't gotten the one thing he'd wanted he'd decided to take and take.

"A selfish little kid."

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"And, what shall you do?" Kusuriyuri asked, his voice gentle but insistent.

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Kurama's hands itched. He could almost feel those red cords against his skin. How many were there? Four? five? more that he couldn't see? How many people had he wanted but couldn't have, at the expense of the one he did love?

"Let go, for starters," he said, defiant of the reflection, the hands that clutched so possessively at the bright red threads. He only needed one. He only wanted one. The rest was all peripheral, all selfishness. He was still holding on to Kusuriyuri's hand, but that he could accept. That's what he wanted to hold on to.

"I think," he said after a moment, "I'm going to have to have a long talk with Inari."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri squeezed Kurama's hand. "It is important that you not continue to run when speaking with her. It will only hinder you and he will not appreciate it and her lack of appreciation tends to be...most inconvenient for you."

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He shook his head. "She'll trip me if I try. Hell," he smiled wryly, "he's been sticking her leg out for the past two thousand years. I just kept getting back up." Stubbornness he could cop to, but combined with everything else it just brought him down more.

He made a mental calculation, glancing over his shoulder to see if the sun was visible. "It isn't much longer until sunset; he's always easier to get a hold of after dark." Part of it was atmosphere, he was sure, and that Inari loved the drama. He could pander to that easy. "Would you like to walk to the teahouse with me?"

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"This one is finished here," Kusuriyuri replied, standing, still holding onto Kurama's hand. "And, tea would be appreciated. Winter has come hard upon us."

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"The disadvantages of this place are clearer in winter," he said, hunching his shoulders against the chill. "At least it isn't very much of a walk." The snow was something he doubted he'd ever get used to; in Tokyo it died quickly into slush and was pushed into sewers. Here, they just let it hang around as much as it wanted.

The teahouse was blessedly warm though, and Kurama had set up a kotatsu once he'd gotten the first whiff of snow, months ago. It would have been even nicer if Inari hadn't already been sitting at it, serenely drinking what smelled like Lapsang Souchong.

"Come in, you two," the God said, in a tone of voice more like a mother expecting her children back from school than... well, a God. "I made tea."

Kurama stared. "You made tea."

Inari beamed at him "Of course I did. Hello, Kusuriyuri."

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Kusuriyuri bowed, masking his surprise behind the manners of a lifetime. "This one is honoured to be within your presence," he said, still bowed. "It is not something this one expected to occur."

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Inari waved a hand at them both. "Honor me by having a seat, and taking tea."

Kurama glanced at his lover, then to his God, and sighed inwardly. He should have guessed Inari would pull something like this. He took a seat across from the god, folding his legs under the blanket. "I suppose you've been listening in, then."

Inari smiled over the top of her cup. "Something like that. I'm surprised you didn't go to him earlier. And," he turned her gaze on Kusuriyuri, "I admire your restraint. Were our positions reversed I might have hit him over the head with something weeks ago."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri moved with Kurama, sitting next to him. "This one has learned through his occupation that is it usually best to wait until the one in need of enlightenment stumbles across the need on their own. To force them to it usually does more harm than good."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"Wise," Inari grinned. Kurama, who really needed something to do with his hands for a moment, refilled the God's cup, and served Kusuriyuri and himself.

"And true," Inari continued. "Yet another truth is that we have important things to discuss, don't we, Lan Lianhua?"

Kurama, who'd been taking a careful sip of tea, choked and almost spilled the whole cup over himself. Only Kusuriyuri in recent memory had ever called him by his birth name; Inari had always called him Kurama, after he'd taken the name for himself. He set the cup down carefully and squeaked out a 'yes' that was barely audible. He coughed, then tried again. "Yes. I want to rejoin the temple."

"Oh?" Inari tilted her head. "As in, not just follow my orders at random while looking for loopholes the entire time? Observing the days I hold holy? Dressing up and dancing for me with your brothers and sisters?"

Kurama nodded. "All of that." He tugged at a lock of hair. He didn't want to give up and start over, but if hehad to, he would. "I'll start as nogitsune, if I have to."

"Aah," Inari folded his hands in front of her. "You'd go that far. It would take a long time to build up your power again; I'd hate to not have it at my disposal. Perhaps..." he glanced again at Kusuriyuri. "A purification ritual instead. Just to get you back on track, as it were."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"Purification?" Kusuriyuri asked. "This one has not seem that purification rituals are the most effective. He has met those who attempted such only to have it go most awry."

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"Oh," Inari waved her hand blithely. "Nothing extreme. Just to wipe the dust off the mirror's surface. He's really very sincere, you know."

"I'm sitting right here..." Kurama muttered taking another sip of tea morosely. He couldn't imagine what Inari had in mind, but he was sure he wasn't going to like it.

Inari ignored him and went on. "Besides which, I don't know a single God who directly observes the rituals any more, so there's so much room for error. All I request is a simple task, a little cleansing, and we can all be a happy family again. No trials by fire or terrible tasks."

"Somehow I don't think you're being very forthcoming," Kurama said, ever suspicious. "Simple doesn't necessarily mean easy."

"It isn't supposed to be easy, darling," Inari chided. "At least not psychologically. I'm not going to hurt you, after all."

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"Then, Inari has a particular ceremony in mind?" Kusuriyuri asked, reaching for his cup of tea to cover his confusion.

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"The ritual of the Opening of the Eyes," Inari said, smiling benevolently.

Kurama almost choked again. "The becoming ritual? but that's for kits! I know what I am, that's-"

"If you knew that, Lan Lianhua, we wouldn't be having this discussion. Why don't you explain it to your lover and then tell me if you need it or not."

Kurama glowered at the God for a moment, but didn't have a choice, so he sighed and began the explanation.

"The Opening of the Eyes is a ritual that all unranked Kitsune must go through before they are allowed to begin their training in shapeshifting and fox magic. It's essentially sitting in a circle surrounded by the four secondary elements - lightning, clay, lava and fog - and doing a kind of soul/personality search, and picking which one suits you the best."

"Little Lan Lianhya here," Inari cut in, "chose a patch of moonlight that strayed into the circle and sat in it, refusing to get out until someone bribed him to pick one of the elemental bowls with a treat."

Kurama had the grace to blush over that, and mumbled, "I picked fog, since it was closest."

"You were sitting right between fog and lightning, if I recall," Inari grinned.

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Kusuriyuri listened, frowning a little as he listened. "This one is merely a medicine seller," he said. "He is acquainted with the elements, but not with that ritual."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"It is specific to my children," Inari said, her voice edging a little more towards serious. "An outsider has never observed, even spouses. But for all your protestations, you are the most highly qualified spiritualist to set up the circle of crossroads, as there are no other Kitsune here. 'Mere' medicine seller though you may be, I trust that the simple preparations would be easy for you, once they have been explained." Then he smiled. "All little Lan Lianhua here needs to do is fast for a day, have a cup of sake, and wear a scratchy robe for a few hours while he decides which bowl to pick."

Kurama, who really wished Inari would stop using that name so freely, slumped a little and poured them all some more tea. He had absolutely no say in this matter, Inari had made her choice. And she'd bully them to distraction to get it done, too.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri considered a moment, looking between the two, the god and his lover. "If this one can be of use," he said, realizing he had very little choice in this matter.

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"In ten days," Inari said, "You will be more than useful." Then he was gone, only the lingering sense of an amused smile and the empty teacup left behind.

Kurama slumped in his seat. "She's so abrupt," he muttered. "I suppose I can run you through what's needed for the preparation of Crossroads; I was present for a few enough to know what needs to be done. Figures it would fall on a full-moon Solstice."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri reached over and rested his hand on Kurama's arm. "This one will do all he can," he promised.

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Kurama smiled, the first genuine one of the day. "I know you will, Koi. It'll be all right. If it means things can be settled, I'm willing to go through with it."

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"That would be very good, Itoshii," Kusuriyuri replied, squeezing Kurama's arm.

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He leaned over and kissed Kusuriyuri's cheek, now that the lingering divinity had faded. At least now there was a direction, a plan. He knew what he had to prepare for, what was expected, and now he could relax about it. "I love you, Koi, though I don't know how you manage to put up with me sometimes."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"I love you, Itoshii. I also know you're foolish," Kusuriyuri said, reaching up to brush Kurama's hair gently away from his face.