[identity profile] a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hh_mirror
Well, it's not every day the giant disembodied head of a dead president floated through the door.

Where the fuck am I? he said as he floated around. Bitches better answer me if they don't want lightning up their ass!



State your full name.

Andrew Jackson, motherfucker!

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

The best kind of cheese is the kind you can smash in a punk's face!

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Both those punkasses need to be shot in the face!

3. What time is it where you are?

Time to kick some asses!

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Bitch, do I look like the raping type? Fuckers got no respect!

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Executive Order, cause I got an executive order to put a boot up your ass!

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Man, I don't know anything about that gay shit!

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Cause you don't go fighting in wars like a real man!

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Bitch, I got lightning vision! And he zapped the doorway. I've taken down assassins and werepires, what have you done? Written pansy-ass applications!

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Now you're just being oppressive. Fine! I'll help you kick werepire ass!



"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______AJ______
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___AJ________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____AJ______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______AJ_______"

Date: 2010-11-13 02:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
"Don't shoot yourself in the face, Jack Attack! Don't eat yourself for breakfast!"

Date: 2010-11-13 02:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
"You know what would be even more badass? Cooking up your own placenta in an omelet and then garnishing it with the umbilical cord that you cut off with a machete! Yay for gross human birth stories! Anyway where's your umbilicus? Your belly-button. Show me the belly-button!"

Date: 2010-11-14 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
Unattractive! "That disqualifies you from a few contests, but it doesn't keep you out of the house best suited for werepire-hunters with lightning vision who shoot first and ask questions later. Welcome to Hogwarts, Jackoff!"

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