[Application] Andrew Jackson (motherfucker!), Ansem Retort

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not every day the giant disembodied head of a dead president floated through the door.

Where the fuck am I? he said as he floated around. Bitches better answer me if they don't want lightning up their ass!



State your full name.

Andrew Jackson, motherfucker!

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

The best kind of cheese is the kind you can smash in a punk's face!

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Both those punkasses need to be shot in the face!

3. What time is it where you are?

Time to kick some asses!

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Bitch, do I look like the raping type? Fuckers got no respect!

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Executive Order, cause I got an executive order to put a boot up your ass!

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Man, I don't know anything about that gay shit!

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Cause you don't go fighting in wars like a real man!

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Bitch, I got lightning vision! And he zapped the doorway. I've taken down assassins and werepires, what have you done? Written pansy-ass applications!

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Now you're just being oppressive. Fine! I'll help you kick werepire ass!



"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______AJ______
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___AJ________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____AJ______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______AJ_______"

Comments

[babylonjackal.livejournal.com]

It was the lightning that drew Akabane. He knew, from explorations of the popcorn room and his researches that none of those he knew had been here before. Lightning was something he was familiar with, and it was with mixed feelings that he observed it wasn't Ginji that had arrived.

He still entered the room, curious always, just what he could gain from this caustic, floating head. "Werepire?" he asked, his hand coming up to touch the brim of his hat, his eye observing the newcomer through the slit in his hat.

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

Well, it was nothing to him.

[babylonjackal.livejournal.com]

"We do not seem to have those here, yet," Akabane replied. Whether or not he was disappointed by this couldn't be determined by his expression, which appeared from under the brim of his hat again.

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

[babylonjackal.livejournal.com]

"Yare, yare," Akabane said, almost a laugh. "Then, you should likely find this place to your liking. There is little control."

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

[babylonjackal.livejournal.com]

Akabane tilted his head a little. He didn't quite see how this floating head could kick anyone, unless he meant the lightning as a 'kick.' "Then, you are a vigilante?" he asked. He didn't think normal law enforcement would either deal with 'werepires' or be enthusiastic about 'kicking some punks.'

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

Street performers.

It never did any good to encourage them, but still Miranda was impressed. "Nice costume" she ventured "you really look like Andrew Jackson." Sure, he was probably going to spout some profanity at her, but still werepires. That was funny.

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

Granted, he was the Andrew Jackson of some bizzare world where murderers have their own reality show, time travel is possible, people can become cookie men, and Ronald Reagan was the Incredible Hulk.

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

She just nodded. "Mm-hmm, Mr. Jackson."
She shouldn't encourage him at all. Nope. Except- "so, you ever kill a lightning buffalo with your bare hands?"

Ok, so she'd had a bit to drink beforehand. So sue her. She reached in her pocket to get a galleon, should she need to distract him while she got away.

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the mun's making shit up.



He likes killing things.

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

"Ok." She crossed her arms. "What have you killed? And can you set paperwork on fire with your lightning vision?"

Other, less drunk parts were whispering don't taunt the busker/madman. But who knew? He could actually do that. Which would just make things worse.

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

he said, and did so, forgetting to answer the first part in his eagerness to prove his prowess.

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

Cough. choke.. Miranda stepped back as if she'd been burned along with the smouldering papers. "Ok, now can you put it out!?" Not waiting for a reply, she tried to beat them out with her purse.

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

Okay, so he's a bit of a sociopath...

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"How would you go about defeating a werepire?"

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"Huzzah! Twenty points for the Jack-o-Lantern! The Jackman! The Jackalope!"

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

Well, tiny compared to him, anyway.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"A jackalope's the most rootin-tootin high-falutin rip-roarin varmint in the West! YEEHAW," shouted the Sorting Hat. "Jack be nimble! The Jackson Five!"

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"Don't shoot yourself in the face, Jack Attack! Don't eat yourself for breakfast!"

[a-jackson-mofo.livejournal.com]

True story.

Gryffindor!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Gryffindor!