Application for Amelia Pond (Doctor Who)

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

((With the approval of the current Who Crew. Spoilers are inevitable.))


Amy Pond was getting used to abrupt arrivals in unfamiliar places, but this time was a bit disturbing. She didn't remember arriving here, and neither The Doctor, Rory, nor the TARDIS were anywhere in sight. The room had a disturbingly castle-y quality that reminded her unpleasantly of Venice.

"Hello?" she called out uncertainly, and was startled to see a quill pen lift of its own accord, taking down the word on a sheet of paper. Once she'd registered the mild surprise, however, she was delighted. What a charming device! Stepping closer to examine this wonder, she noticed the questions on the parchment.



State your full name.

"Amelia Pond," she responded almost automatically, before stopping to wonder who it was asking and why. But she couldn't resist continuing with the form, just to see, to find out.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"Crowdie," she said with a faint sniff. Actually it wasn't, but she liked people to think it was. Scottish, and all that. Better than affecting a taste for haggis. "Why do I need a reason for it to be my favorite? People like things. It doesn't always have to be deep."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"What?" That was certainly a leap. "From cheese to killing? That's a bit of a steep progression, isn't it? Although I suppose if I had to choose, I'd say Barney." Not that she had any particular grudge against characters on American children's television, but a name like 'Carrottop' prompted a sense of ginger solidarity. If she'd known who he was, her answer might have been different.

3. What time is it where you are?

"Time." Amy laughed weakly. Time wasn't as definite for her as it used to be. "I don't actually know. It does sound silly, doesn't it?"

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"What?" Amy exclaimed again, with real outrage this time. Perhaps she was a bit oversensitive on the subject. "I don't... I mean, I wouldn't, I'd never..."

Assuming she hadn't just survived near-certain death.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"The Gondola Driver," she said, thinking fondly of Rory.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Ouch... sore subject there. "I'm not an agony aunt, you know," she said with a bit of a pout. "Maybe Harry needs some time to sort it out for himself. You can't let someone else decide that sort of thing for you."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"It's just paper, isn't it? If it bothers you so much, get away from it. Get a new job. Move to a new city. Change your life."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"Useless?" That was an affront, even moreso when she realized that, while resourceful, she didn't have much in the way of quantifiable skills. "'m not useless," she said with a pout.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"A bribe?" She looked down at her outfit. Neither the baggy sweater nor tiny miniskirt had pockets. She smiled a bit weakly. "What if I just said 'please'?"





I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______AP______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____AP______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______AP_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _______AP______

Comments

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"I, er." Amy laughed a little. "I was a Kissogram. Wear little costumes, go to parties, give the guest of honor a little smooch." Not the best job, maybe; not glamorous, or highly-paid, or particularly respectable. But it was honest work, and she refused to be ashamed of it.

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

Even though that's the BBC family definition of prostitute, Mel bursts out laughing. She thought kissograms disappeared sometime in the Seventies, along with sun-dried tomatoes being fashionable.

"Oh, my God." She's giggling, and puts her hands to her lips to stop it. "That--that is something. Wow." Mel, you wanted to be a TV presenter when you grew up, stop laughing. "But you said--'was'? Is it just the exploring now?" Niggle, niggle, niggle. Something doesn't sit right in her story.

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

Perhaps Leadworth was behind the times a bit. Strippers popping out of cakes was a bit behind the curve as well.


"Well, it's a lot more exciting, isn't it? Getting about, seeing the un... seeing the world, meeting new people, trying new foods, learning new things... who wouldn't rather do that?"

And if that meant escaping the banal life she could see stretching out before her, well, that was all the better, wasn't it?

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

Mel has a sparkle in her eyes when she looks at Amy, one that says 'I know your secret, and it's totally cool.'

"Seeing the world is pretty awesome. I wish I could have seen it when I was alive more."

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"When you..." She looked at Mel searchingly, running their conversation over in her head. "How does that work?"

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

Mel clears her throat a bit. Well, she was going to find out about the major weirdness here sooner or later, and now maybe she'll tell Mel about the weirdness in her.

"I was, um. A hit-and-run driver got me when I was thirteen." Poor Shay had been so frightened he'd just...run off, leaving the stolen car behind. "I died, went to Heaven and now I'm at the Academy there."

The dying is a big thing, but Mel says the second part as casually as if she'd said 'and they put me back together again and then we had some chips.'

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

Well, that was hard to respond to. It wasn't something she'd expected to hear.

"I'm sorry. That must have been awful. Is the Academy nice?"

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

Mel's smile is so blindingly bright it's hard to mistake it for anything less than joy. "Yeah, it's pretty awesome." There's water-features in the buildings, around the campus, and it's Heaven, come on. What do you expect it to be like? Plus, there's the History Club, where you get to go backwards and forwards in time and help out on Earth.

So...yeah, pretty awesome. Besides, she doesn't remember much about the actual...dying part.

"Hogwarts is a close second, though."

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"And Hogwarts is this place," she said, musing aloud to herself. "It's good, then, this place? What's good about it?"

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

"It's a magic school. That's pretty wicked from where I'm sitting." Mel pauses. "Don't eat the chocolates on offer. They can turn you into someone you don't like. Like tequila, except faster and more unpredictable."

...and beware the fake marriages, and the crazy Hat, and the Compy Labs. "The best thing about it, really, is that there are rarely any classes."

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"Wait, wait, wait." Amy stared at her, sorting out what she was being told. "That doesn't sound like a school. It sounds like... well, I don't know what it sounds like, but not a school!"

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

"If you count the wild and unexplained disappearances of various students, and the approach to learning, maybe it's more like a university?"

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"Unexplained disappearances?" Amy perked up. This was a problem in need of a solution, surely. Could she figure it out on her own?

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

Or maybe her boyfriend can fight it off with a broom handle.

Mel looks mildly surprised, but nods. "Well, yeah. Sometimes students will leave and be turned into popcorn. I think, anyway--but they can come back. That's what happened to my best friend, Lola. But her boyfriend said he had to leave, and became popcorn. Occasionally people will un-popcorn and often have no idea where they are or why they're drenched in butter."

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"This popcorn thing," Amya said a little weakly. "The covered in butter part... you mean it's not a metaphor? People literally, actually turn into popcorn?"

Not only dreadful, but embarrassing.

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

"Afraid so. Lola ruined a totally cute pair of jeans." Mel sighs. "What can you do?"

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"You make it sound so common," she frowned. "Does this happen to everyone?"

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

"Sort of. There are a lot of names on the plaque in the Popcorn Room. But not to me--not yet, and I've been here for years."

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"That doesn't sound 'awesome' to me," Amy said cautiously. "It sounds frightening, really."

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

"It doesn't happen often," Mel says slowly, thinking it over. Hey, the ditz did it again. "When it does, it's unpleasant, but only if you're not expecting it."

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

That made Amy shudder. "People expect it? Expect to be turned into popcorn?"

Vote: Gryffindor

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

"I think they leave and go back to their old universes. But...the popcorn is kind of a placeholder?" Mel smiles weakly. "If it ever happens, I'll let you know."

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"If you're turned into a snack temporarily, you mean?" She laughed, but it was a little forced. "I can't say I'd wish it on you, but it would help to hear about it firsthand."

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

Mel cocks her head, thinking. "I'll ask Lollie to come down, if she has time. Oh, and I'm voting you into my house, by the way."

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[ducklesspond.livejournal.com]

"I'll take that as a sign of approval," Amy said. "Unless it's to keep a closer watch on me."