The Unpopping of John Amsterdam (Open RP)

[400-years-young.livejournal.com]

There was a pop, a wet splooosh, and John Amsterdam flopped on the floor in a buttery tidal wave. Naked and slimy, he groaned as he rolled himself onto his back. "I could have gone another 400 years without that," he said. As he stared at the stones in the ceiling and tried to collect his thoughts, a pair of bare legs entered his field of vision. The legs were cut off by a terrycloth towel, and John knew what he'd see if he kept looking up.

"Hey," he said to the German as Dieter bent down and offered him a different towel. "Do I know where this thing's been?" he asked.

"No," Dieter said.

"Perfect." John started to towel himself off. He dabbed off as much butter as he could, and for the sake of modesty, wrapped the towel around himself.

"It's good to see you back," Dieter said. The naked Ravenclaw twins were back, in original and with extra butter.

((John Amsterdam and Dieter Prohl are in the popcorn room together. Meta is intentional, as they're played by the same actor. Please let me know which one you're tagging to, of if it's for either one.))

Comments

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Claire was lost. Again.

Hearing voices, she opened a door, intending to ask for directions. Instead she found two towel-clad men who could've found excellent work at the Dollhouse, had they wished.

"Oh!" She turned her back. "Sorry. I'm interrupting. Obviously."

[400-years-young.livejournal.com]

"Interrupting what, I'm not sure," John said. "It's not what it looks like. I don't know what it looks like, but whatever it looks like, it's not that."

"It looks like we're both half-naked and you're covered in butter," Dieter said helpfully.

"Well, okay, I guess it does look like that."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

"Look, it's okay, really, I'm not in the business of judging." Claire risked a glance over her shoulder. "Though I bet DeWitt could get top dollar for this fantasy," she muttered under her breath, then cleared her throat and raised her voice back to a normal level. "Unless one of you injures yourself doing...whatever. In that case, feel free to call for me in Ravenclaw."

[hot-german.livejournal.com]

"Would you like to have sex with me?" Dieter said, right at the same time as John said, "Why don't I call you right now?"

There was an awkward pause, then Dieter suggested, "We could try a threesome."

John facepalmed. "No. For the last time, I'm not sleeping with you."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Claire turned around to face them, head tilted, wincing.

"Oh-kay. You get points for hitting on me in conversational context," she said, pointing to the buttery one. "You get points for directness." She pointed to the other one. "Neither of you is getting laid right now. By me, I mean. The other part you two can work out amongst yourselves."

[400-years-young.livejournal.com]

"What about deep, meaningful conversation and witty repartee?" John asked. "I've got three hundred and seventy years of experience he doesn't have."

Dieter nodded. It was true.

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

She opened her mouth, closed it again.

"Funny. You don't look a day over three hundred fifty," she managed finally.

Delusional, she thought, or maybe a Doll after all. Though now that she was looking at him directly, she could see an awfully high percentage of wound-scar tissue on his body for a 30-year-old. Including a wicked-deep looking one right over the proverbial ticker that piqued her medical curiosity.

[400-years-young.livejournal.com]

"You know how many times I've heard that response?" If she asked, he'd give her a number.

He saw where she was looking. "Scar number one," he said. "The rest came with age."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

"Scar number one looks like it could preclude scars two through whatever," she ventured. "In my medical opinion."

[400-years-young.livejournal.com]

"It almost did." He touched the indentation over his heart. "I could tell you about the rest, but you seem like one of those science types that only believes what their eyes can tell them. Unless maybe this place had gotten you to believe in magic?" It sounded like a question and a challenge.

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

"I haven't been here that long," she replied. "If it helps, though, my pre-Hogwarts situation has me well primed to believe in science fiction. Close enough?"

[400-years-young.livejournal.com]

He shrugged. "I'll give it a try. I was stabbed in 1642 and saved by a Native American shaman. I can't age or die until certain conditions are met." She didn't need to know about the conditions. "It doesn't mean I can't get banged up, though."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

"I bet you're hell on your doctor. Doctors." Claire took a second to process.

"That sounds like some bleeding-edge medicine for the 17th century. I've found that bleeding edge medical technologies tend to be kept tightly held by the elite few. How'd you rate? In the estimation of a Native American shaman, anyway?"

[400-years-young.livejournal.com]

"Only the ones who go looking for something wrong in a perfectly healthy thirty-five-year-old," he said with a wink. "As for how I rate, I had two options: I could let my fellow soldier run through the girl he was aiming for, or I could do something about it. And since I hadn't signed up to murder the women and children, I chose the heroic but fatal option."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Claire suppressed a wince. The Dollhouse had her so used to thinking in terms of profiteering she'd forgotten the altruistic motive.

"Thus motivating her to repay you with heroic measures? Nice." She nodded. "But how do you explain the never-aging business in everyday life?"

[400-years-young.livejournal.com]

"That depends on who you ask. There's John York. John Benwaar. Charlie. Johnny on the Spot. Johann Van der Zee. You've just got to ask them quick, because they're only around for ten years or so."

[ilikemyscars.livejournal.com]

Claire frowned, looking more troubled than the quip really warranted. "A quick-change artist, then. But how do you keep them all straight? All those identities -" She shook her head. "Sorry. I was having a bit of an identity crisis myself before I arrived here. Touched a nerve."

[400-years-young.livejournal.com]

"You know how I keep them straight?" he said. "But cutting off all contact with friends, family, loved ones - they all think I'm dead, or a deadbeat who skipped out on their lives. And then, after enough time goes by, they're all gone, and nobody cares. Nobody remembers."

[woocha.livejournal.com]

Cool, twins! Which one of you's the prince and which one of you's the pauper?

Wishbone's mind WOULD go to that.

Hey... Wishbone peered up at them. I think I turned into one of you once!

[hot-german.livejournal.com]

"I think you turned into me," Dieter said. "Anyway, he's the rich one. Being a tennis pro and a magnificent stud doesn't pay much."

[woocha.livejournal.com]

Yeah! I remember now! That was fun, being you for a few hours. Wishbone wagged his tail.

[hot-german.livejournal.com]

"I am glad you had a good time!" Dieter subscribed to the theory that his body was an amusement park, and if that's how Wishbone got to enjoy the ride, then he had no problems with the dog assuming his identity.

[woocha.livejournal.com]

Matt got mad when I didn't wear the towel right though. I don't know what the big deal is. It's just clothes.

[hot-german.livejournal.com]

"Clothes aren't something to get worked up about." This was probably advice that Wishbone shouldn't be getting. "There is no right way or wrong way. Only what is comfortable."

[woocha.livejournal.com]

Like my collar! It's technically clothes. And the costumes I sometimes wear!