Flying

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Unable to wait any longer now that everyone had agreed to go flying with him, Adam sent owls to Nny, Susan, River, Kaylee, Teatime, Harry, Ginny, and Devi to let them know that he'd gone down to the Quidditch pitch and to meet him there. He snatched his broom and practically ran down to the field, excited to meet new people and get into the air once again.

Comments

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

((OOC: Sorry for the repost--- spelling error of the not-caught-by-spellcheck persuasion and a couple of errors with timing))

The owls--- one from Adam and one from Nny--- were waiting for River when she got back to her room after meeting with Dumbledore. She sent owls to Kaylee and Simon, (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/207661.html) then grabbed her broom and headed for the pitch.

Nny was already there, with someone else. Blond--- for a moment she was reminded of Wash... then her other senses kicked in and she knew it couldn't be--- and who it had to be.

They hadn't seen her, and she decided to make an entrance--- it was that kind of mood she was in after her meeting with Dumbledore, even if it hadn't been Adam she was meeting. Onto her broom and swooping in, not-quite-diving them but making it very clear she could have--- they hadn't cut into her dancer's stage presence at the Academy and she had it back--- and then pulled in a tight circle to a stop in front of them. Smiling--- she couldn't help it: flying and dancing all at once. "Hi, Nny---" And then she looked at the other person and made her smile go away until he'd earned it. Reserving judgement, like she'd promised... but not much more. "You must be Adam."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Adam smiled at the newcomer. "And you're River." It wasn't a question.

"It's real nice to meet you. You're amazin' on your broom."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River absorbed the compliment. "I... hope I can say the same. That it's nice to meet you, I mean." She met his eyes: it was a good time to do this, now, with just her and Nny and Adam.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"I hope you can, too," said Adam, holding her gaze. He knew what she wanted to do and he allowed it.

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River was surprised at how clearly Adam came through. And... he didn't feel like Dr. Matthias, though she'd be the first to admit her recollections of that time were... suspect. So she'd have to ask. Aloud.

"Nny says you could help him, but you won't. Because of 'balance'." She took a deep breath and rushed on before he could say anything, or before anyone else could come and interrupt. "I knew people who made me suffer. For the 'greater good'. Doing 'such good work'---" She could feel herself start to slip and managed to pull back. "It wasn't... righteous." She folded her arms and met his eyes, and the stress from everything--- meeting with Dumbledore, Simon's strange behavior, all of it--- came out. "Tell me you're not like that. And make me believe it."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

He'd been expecting this.

"Well, I think the biggest difference is that those people thought they knew what was good and took actions to try and make it happen. I really do know what is good and I don't take any action at all."

Adam's expression was open and earnest as he spoke, trying to explain what he knew.

"This world belongs to me, River. And I'm not sayin' that in a braggin' kind of way. It just does. It was designed that way from the beginnin'. Everythin' in it wants to please me. Reality changes accordin' to my thoughts."

Shrugging, he continued.

"I could claim it. I could make everythin' in it whatever I want it to be whether that be 'good' or 'bad'. In fact, I was supposed to do that once. But I didn't then and I don't now. You know why? Because I don't like messin' around with people. Some people are good and some people are bad but most people are somewhere in the middle. And if I leave the world alone, then it will prob'ly be in the middle, too. Balanced. But if that happens in the end, it should be because everyone in the world wants it and thinks that is the best way to be. Not just me."

Adam gestured at Nny.

"You're right. I could help Johnny and I don't. It's not because I don't like him, 'cause I do. I did help in one small way. But you hafta understand that he is the way he is for a reason. And if I go messin' around with that, then his purpose won't be served. By takin' action I'll throw the balance of the world off. And who knows? I could make things worse by tryin' to make them better. That's why 'good' and 'evil' are so deceptive. Half the time you don't know which one you're doin' until later."

Catching her eyes, he asked, "Does that help?"

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

The truth of it hit her--- both the content of the words and the simple fact that he was telling her the truth--- and she staggered, arms folded around herself for shelter now and not in challenge.

"You---" she was on her knees and didn't know how she'd gotten there--- "You're like him--- Dr. Matthias--- and yet you're not, you're the opposite of him---" She held her head now, rocking, thoughts rushing as she tried to encode them into language and build a model.

It was his last words that hit her resonant note, finally, as she absorbed them--- and her sense of what was behind them--- and integrated the whole into her model of him and of reality. "Deceptive," she said quietly, the tremors starting to still as she looked up at him. "Good and evil: deceptive." A smile started and this time she didn't try to fight him. "You do know what you're doing, because you know that you don't know." She remembered something she'd read once--- from the Tao Te Ching? It sounded right. "'Through non-action, nothing is left undone.'" It wasn't a whisper, but it was more to herself than him. "I'm glad I'm not you," she told Adam. "Because I think I'm going to have to do things, sooner or later. Have to try, even if it turns out wrong, have to... try." A little smile, not quite looking at him anymore. "Simon would probably say that's the captain's bad influence, but then Simon's the one who got me out of the Academy. And I think the captain would like you. He said that: they-- the Alliance--- shouldn't try to make people... better. So many meanings to that...." She took a deep breath and shook her head to clear it, because suddenly the difference made sense. "Except it's like what I said to Professor Dumbledore. Don't want to be made different--- want to learn how to be what I am---" She broke off. "Sorry. Rivers ramble sometimes, but I... try not to. I'm... reasonable. Or I.. try to be. Wasn't so much."

She looked over at Nny. "I---" Not sure if she should apologize to him too. "Er---" Deciding that the best thing to do was... get on with it.

She got to her feet, unaccustomed to feeling this shaky; her broom hovered there and she used it to push herself upright. "It's... nice to meet you." She held out her hand.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Adam took her hand and pulled her into a hug.

"'I know that I don't know,'" he repeated. "I like that. It's true. And you can only be who you are. That's the wonderful thing about free will. We all get to do and be what we think we should do and be and it's okay."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River accepted the hug with some startlement, but decided she liked it, and returned it. "Thanks,"--- in response to his liking of her comments. And, "Free will. You should tell that to Dr. Matthias and the Alliance--- or," remembering the rest of what he'd said, she corrected, hastily and playfully, "someone should, anyway." She laughed, a little shakily, inviting him to share the joke.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Laughing lightly, Adam said, "If I ever meet him, I'll be sure to."

He let her go after one last squeeze. "And if you wanna talk about it at another time, just let me know. For now, though, we should fly!"

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River giggled "I'd like to see that. You meeting Dr. Matthias." She smiled enigmatically. "It would be good for him."

"I... think I'd like that. To talk with you. But you're right. Tonight's for flying. And we've already talked a lot anyway." She swung onto her broom and kicked off.