[identity profile] ninja-lizzy.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hh_mirror
It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that despite a young woman's possession of a calm and sensible temperament even at the best of times, if said woman comes to consciousness in a room surrounded by cases containing popcorn kernels and covered herself in a fine layer of grease, she will not take it well.

Such was the case for Elizabeth Bennet. The first thing she did upon her sudden wakefulness was to reach for her katana. To her dismay, however, she carried neither katana nor musket nor even ankle dagger.

"What mischief is this!" cried she in indignant tones. "Where can I be, weaponless and with no idea whether there are unmentionables about!"

Being a resourceful young woman, she endeavoured to clean the salt and butter from her person as much as possible. She had vague recollections of this place. Hogwarts, she thought it was called. She should go somewhere called Ravenclaw. Oh, yes, and Mr. Darcy was here. Of the scourge of unmentionables that had been plaguing England, she was less clear. It seemed to her she ought to remember if any of them were here, but she couldn't.

Well, there was nothing for it. She would sally forth from this room of popcorn kernels and see if she could locate someone she knew, even if that someone should be Mr. Darcy, and make them explain what the meaning of all this was. Then she resolved she would find a weapon and work off some of her excess energy by hunting Unmentionables. If there were no unmentionables--although why that should be the case given that there were *always* unmentionables--she supposed she might meditate and hope for a clear mind. And if there were no place in which she could meditate, she could always go write a letter to her dear friend, Charlotte Lucas, who she hoped had not been too stricken by the strange plague.

Thus satisfied with her plan, Elizabeth took herself away from the popcorn room, in as gay of spirits as she ever boasted. She did glance back over her shoulder in time to spot her name on the plaque of names outside the door. It was slowly fading, as was the name of Mr. Darcy. What this could mean, she was sure she didn't know, though she intended to find out. At swordpoint, should it come to that.

((For those of you who have not been alerted to my evil plans, I am taking Elizabeth from this version of Pride and Prejudice. I highly recommend this new ultraviolent version of Austen's comedy of manners to all lovers of crackfic, which, hopefully, you all are. Also, this is Brienne-mun, the one who is, OOCly, totally blind. Should anyone have time to hunt up appropriately kick-ass icons for this journal, I would be grateful...))

Date: 2009-05-01 05:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] woocha.livejournal.com
Wishbone was doing his typical sniffing around Hogwarts. So he came upon the popcorn room.

Oh! Hi!

Date: 2009-05-01 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] woocha.livejournal.com
I'm Wishbone! Permit it? He practically lived for it!

He trotted up to Elizabeth so he could be petted.

Date: 2009-05-01 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] woocha.livejournal.com
Elizabeth Bennet?! Wishbone leaped up and practically tackled Elizabeth, licking her face. I've always been able to talk. No one just listened until I came here, he said, tail a'thumping.

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Date: 2009-05-01 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doctor-hook.livejournal.com
Once upon a time, Dr. Jørgen Krogshøj had been a zombie. As is often the case with zombies, the transformation wasn't his fault. As is less often the case, he got better.

Sort of. He wasn't a zombie now. He was a sanguine and amiable neurologist, possessed of nothing more sinister than a wicked dry sense of humor.

"You're missing your unmentionables? That can't be comfortable, ma'am."

Date: 2009-05-01 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doctor-hook.livejournal.com
Unaware how close he'd come to a Hogwarts-style undeath, Hook grinned. The curtsey took him a little aback; he had been about to offer his hand to shake, and now he dusted it sheepishly against the side of his lab coat, covering with an unpracticed bow not too deep in degree. "I'm a doctor with a name most people here find unpronounceable. I'm generally called Hook, since that's how my nickname translates. Doctor Hook, if you wish to be formal, Miss Bennet," he amended. Didn't want to make the antiquated young miss feel unduly uncomfortable, after all.

"And for my part, I do not wish to give offense. But what is meant by 'unmentionables', in English, is something other than what you perhaps meant? To the best of my knowledge, that is. English is not my first language, and the translation enchantment here isn't completely perfect."

Date: 2009-05-02 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doctor-hook.livejournal.com
Hook's face, already fair, blanched near-white.

"Zombies?"

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Date: 2009-05-01 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soggynotecards.livejournal.com
Demyx waved happily when he spotted a familiar face - he'd met Elizabeth once or twice previously to her being popcorned. "Hey, Miss Bennet! You're back!"

Date: 2009-05-01 10:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soggynotecards.livejournal.com
Demyx pulled a face. "Oh, right. Keep forgetting about the whole memory-loss thing. Name's Demyx; we knew each other a little before."

Date: 2009-05-02 12:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soggynotecards.livejournal.com
"Not that I've noticed." Demyx certainly didn't count his own odd state of being as being a zombie, but he didn't really want to mention it anyway. "I had a couple of friends who used to go looking for them, but I don't think I ever heard of them actually finding one."

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Date: 2009-05-02 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sh1n1ng-arm0r.livejournal.com
Passing by, Tony did a double-take through the open doorway and whistled.

"Well, hel-lo, beautiful!" he called.

******************************


((I have two icons for you on photobucket, follow the links: a crop from the cover (http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d134/per1etwo/lj%20icons/perletwo_lizzyzombie2.gif) and Lizzy with her dagger (http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d134/per1etwo/lj%20icons/perletwo_lizzyzombie1.gif). Off to watch Dollhouse now, BBL!))

Date: 2009-05-02 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sh1n1ng-arm0r.livejournal.com
Tony shrugged. "Haven't you ever heard 'the roof constitutes an introduction'? And this place's roof -" He blew a raspberry. "Topsy-turvy any which way you look at it. I'm Tony. Tony Stark."

He waited for Lizzy to recognize the name. They always did.

Date: 2009-05-02 03:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sh1n1ng-arm0r.livejournal.com
"Betty!" He grinned rakishly. "And you are so very Betty, if I may say so."

He shook his head. "Nah. I'm new here myself. If you weren't at my Sorting, I probably haven't met you yet. This place is huge."

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Date: 2009-05-04 03:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blond-bondshell.livejournal.com
"Is there a reason why you should need your weapons?" James Bond asked, always quick to defend a woman in trouble, whether she needed it or not. Such speed often came at the expense of careful fact-checking. It might turn out that he would need to be defended from her.

"If you're concerned for your safety, may I offer you my protection?"

Date: 2009-05-04 04:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blond-bondshell.livejournal.com
"Shaolin monks?" Those who knew him well would know the smirk he was wearing meant that he was amused by Lizzy's comment, and also intrigued. A stranger would easily miss the spark of humor, and interpret the look as mere interest.

"I think my Special Forces training seems tame in comparison. Still, with any luck, neither of should need to get our hands dirty." He held back his jacket for just long enough for Lizzy to see the Walther holstered at his left side. "Never mind that the undead seem to be in short supply at Hogwarts. Is that what you're afraid of?"

Date: 2009-05-04 05:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blond-bondshell.livejournal.com
Bond didn't miss a beat. "Should the opportunity come up," he said, "you'll find that I'll rise quite quickly to the occasion."

Damn that topic at hand. "I know several people who have been dead." He'd been responsible for three of them. "However, they're in perfect health now."

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