[identity profile] miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hh_mirror
This is not a strip-club.
She'd been meaning to pop into the dressing room and do a quick change. Instead she came out into the Sorting room wearing a green dress and elaborate makeup.
"Hello, hello, oh, hell!"
Life had taken a turn of the soap-opera kind lately, with the death of her alleged mother and all. Now she was walking into strange rooms.

A lone paper lay on the desk in front of her.


1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"What? I don't care. Any cheese. I don't get the fancy gourmet kinds- poor art student, after all."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"I don't kill. And I certainly don't care that much about either the commedian or the unfortunate in the dinosaur costume." She paused thoughtfully. "Carrottop has interesting eyebrows, though. Could be botched plastic surgery."

3. What time is it where you are?

"Night- I was just about to go back out there and- oh, nevermind." she groaned.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"I don't harass people. There are rules against that. I certainly don't pretend to be any old man to stalk people. If anyone in this 'Order of the Phoenix' caught my eye, I might ask them to sit for a portrait, but that's all."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"You've got the wrong person. I'm not a bartender at all. I'm a dancer at the Glass House -which is apparently someones idea of wit."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

"Telling people how to run their lives isn't my thing. I understand some people get a kick out of it, but I could care less. Whatever Harry wants, he'll have to figure it out for himself."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"I've arranged my life to avoid as much paperwork as possible. You obviously haven't."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"Oh, that's low. Just because I dance...I'm going to be a medical illustrator and I took care of Chry-my gra- an old woman until she died. I have a right to be here, the same as you."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"Well, I could do a portrait for you, though I prefer subjects with diseases, deformities, things that would go in a medical textbook. I'd offer a dance, but I only do that at the club, not for kidnappers." The word sounded silly even as she said it, but what else could this be? "Good luck getting any money for me." She folded her arms and snorted.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Miranda Barker__________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Miranda Barker_________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _Miranda Barker__________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _Miranda Barker____________"

Date: 2009-05-01 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
Given the Baron's brusque style of leadership, he didn't seem to notice the lack of fawning, and if he did, he didn't seem to care. When he asked people things, he wanted answers, not a bunch of genuflecting before them. That wasted time.

"From what I've been told, there's not any real space travel here, either. I don't even know what this place is running on- magic, everyone's always saying. Seems to me magic's still got to be something, but, no one's explained the science behind it." Some of the things he'd seen were weird enough to suggest their wasn't any, but, the Baron's mind didn't work this way. Something had to make everything behave the way it did.

Date: 2009-05-02 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
The Baron nodded understandingly. "From what I've seen, it's a disorderly mess, with no coherent explanation to it. but still, a school has to exist for some reason. I haven't figured out what greater organization it's a part of, but, figuring that out might illuminate the subject. I thought it was a Imperial test, when I first arrived, but whatever this place is, it's no where near as complex and evolved as the Imperium. People actually talk bluntly, and I can't figure out the game at all. I almost wonder if there's not one." It sounds like he finds the idea of no game at all to be inconceivable.

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