Application: Geek Love Miranda Barker/ Binewski

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

This is not a strip-club.
She'd been meaning to pop into the dressing room and do a quick change. Instead she came out into the Sorting room wearing a green dress and elaborate makeup.
"Hello, hello, oh, hell!"
Life had taken a turn of the soap-opera kind lately, with the death of her alleged mother and all. Now she was walking into strange rooms.

A lone paper lay on the desk in front of her.


1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"What? I don't care. Any cheese. I don't get the fancy gourmet kinds- poor art student, after all."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"I don't kill. And I certainly don't care that much about either the commedian or the unfortunate in the dinosaur costume." She paused thoughtfully. "Carrottop has interesting eyebrows, though. Could be botched plastic surgery."

3. What time is it where you are?

"Night- I was just about to go back out there and- oh, nevermind." she groaned.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"I don't harass people. There are rules against that. I certainly don't pretend to be any old man to stalk people. If anyone in this 'Order of the Phoenix' caught my eye, I might ask them to sit for a portrait, but that's all."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"You've got the wrong person. I'm not a bartender at all. I'm a dancer at the Glass House -which is apparently someones idea of wit."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

"Telling people how to run their lives isn't my thing. I understand some people get a kick out of it, but I could care less. Whatever Harry wants, he'll have to figure it out for himself."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"I've arranged my life to avoid as much paperwork as possible. You obviously haven't."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"Oh, that's low. Just because I dance...I'm going to be a medical illustrator and I took care of Chry-my gra- an old woman until she died. I have a right to be here, the same as you."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"Well, I could do a portrait for you, though I prefer subjects with diseases, deformities, things that would go in a medical textbook. I'd offer a dance, but I only do that at the club, not for kidnappers." The word sounded silly even as she said it, but what else could this be? "Good luck getting any money for me." She folded her arms and snorted.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Miranda Barker__________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Miranda Barker_________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _Miranda Barker__________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _Miranda Barker____________"

Comments

[nerdsexgoddess.livejournal.com]

"Someplace called Scotland," Amaranth answered. "This is a school of magic. Not a university, per se, because there really aren't that many classes, but you can learn things. Or indulge your hobbies." She stepped back a little. "I'm Amaranth, by the way."

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

"I can't pay for school" This is an automatic response. "I'm barely making enough at the Glass House."
Never mind why she was in Scotland.

[nerdsexgoddess.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that, honey," Amaranth assured her. "Room and board is completely covered. Inf act, that's the reason you're going through this little question and answer section. We're supposed to decide which of the school's houses would suit you. Originally, for example, if an applicant was clever, they'd end up in Ravenclaw, or if they were brave they'd be Gryffindors. Now... Well... I'm in Hufflepuff, which, supposedly, is where they put the hot girls."

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

Free stuff? Yeah, that's not suspicious or anything.

"I don't have to do anything for this? No surgeries? Mascetomys? Goddamn thyroid modifications?"

[nerdsexgoddess.livejournal.com]

"Oh, goddess, no!" exclaimed Amaranth. "Is that what they make you do back home? Oh you poor thing! Well, if it makes you feel better, all you really have to do is talk to a, well, talking hat. It's really quite a nice hat, though. When I talked to it, it sang me a song." (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1692605.html?thread=90671805#t90671805)

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

"Well, I came pretty close to having something like that." she looked queasy.

"After talking to a dancing flower, I don't think I'll have much trouble."

[nerdsexgoddess.livejournal.com]

Amaranth shook her head. Self-mutilation, in her opinion, was definitely one of those things that should very much be safe, sane and consentual. Unless you had a really good healer nearby.

"Yeah, there are definitely all kinds of people here," she said. "Certainly more diversity, in some ways, then there was at the college I went to, and with none of the silly discrimination against nonhuman students we had to deal with there."

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

'Nonhumans'? Diversity?

"So I'm stuck here? For how long?"
Free college might not be so bad, actually.

[nerdsexgoddess.livejournal.com]

Amaranth smiled. "I really think you could leave if you wanted to," she said. "It's not a prison or anything. But honestly, you should try it out."

Amaranth had to admit that she really liked Miranda. In her less cheerful moments she had begun to acknowledge to herself that she seemed to be losing friends all the time. Barley still hated her, for whatever reason, and even though Steff was around here somewhere, Amaranth hadn't talked to her since not too long after they'd been sorted. And she'd missed having someone her own age to hang out with and talk about the important things, namely sex, science and clothes.

That reminded her. "Can I ask you a personal question?" she said in a low voice. Without waiting for Miranda's response she plunged on anyway. "Do you believe in science? It's OK if you don't--I mean, I respect everybody's beliefs--but, well, the other day I went up to the Astronomy tower with one of my regulars, and after we finished having sex, I noticed all these really impressive-looking telescopes just... not being used, so I was hoping, you know, if it's not a really silly thing, to find someone who'd be interested in stargazing."

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

Heh. Amaranth should so talk to Igor. They'd confuse each other.

Miranda stared at her as if she'd grown another head.
"Believe..?" Please, not a religious fanatic.
"Science might not be perfect, but at least it's a way of finding truth."

Suddenly the 'my regulars' comment hit her. One of *those*. Well its not like I haven't had friends like that before.

"And I've never done astronomy before, but it doesn't sound like a bad way to pass the time." She shrugged.

[nerdsexgoddess.livejournal.com]

"Yes, exactly," Amaranth said enthusiastically. "But you'd be surprised how many people where I come from think it's all fantasy and silly parlor tricks." Her smile widened. "Excellent! I'll send you a note after you're sorted so we can stargaze."

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

"Ok" It was something to do at the very least. "I'll see you then."

((Wow, my RPing skills are fabulous today.))