hh_mirror

A man dressed in a long black coat and pants stood in front of the desk. A gray mask, much like a surgical mask, covered half of his face so only his violet eyes were visible. He swayed on his feet and pressed his palm against his forehead with a grunt. His eyes flicked back and forth erratically as he filed through recent and painful memories. A few minutes passed before he came back to reality. His surroundings were unfamiliar. He knew this wasn’t the spirit world (or any other afterlife, for that matter), but it wasn’t his world either. Karasu wondered why he was here and heard himself mumble his question out loud.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Karasu blinked. A pen floated above a paper on the desk in front of him, seemingly poised to write. What a strange question though. Cheese? “Bleu cheese, I suppose.” He glided over to the paper and watched as the quill scratched his words. “It has a strong flavor,” he added. He was tempted to grab the quill out of the air but decided against it. He wasn’t familiar with these circumstances so perhaps it would be best to observe them from a safe distance.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

He arched a thin eyebrow. “Kill? Hm…I’m not familiar with either of these men,” he assumed they were male, “but I suppose it depends on which one is on his knees first.” His voice dripped with honey.

3. What time is it where you are?

Karasu glanced up at the ceiling. “I don’t know…last time I was alive, it was late afternoon,” he offered. He wasn’t sure if that was correct though; his thoughts had been elsewhere that day.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Karasu raised his eyebrows at the forwardness (and irony) of those questions. “Well now, somebody has a certain…streak about them,” he chuckled at the implications and flicked a few strands of dark hair behind his shoulder. “Sexual harassment isn’t really my style,” he explained. That was a half-truth, others would insist. “I would rather force someone to submit completely. It’s more fun that way,” he smiled beneath his mask. “When you break a spirit, you experience something far more satisfying than carnal pleasure.”

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

“Lethe,” he said in a dry whisper. “It is said that once you drink from that river, you’ll forget everything.” He tapped one slender finger against the side of head. “Humans drink to reach oblivion, don’t they?”

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Karasu felt a tingle at the base of his skull. He loved mythology, or at least, the mythology he could get his hands on. It was hard to get books from the human world but he read them when he could. It was probably his most innocent hobby. Years before his death, he read a story that struck a chord with him now, through what he’d experienced.

“There is a legend,” he began, “about a God who loved a mortal boy. The God was powerful, he could heal or kill at a whim and humans worshipped him as the sun.” Karasu lifted his right arm and gestured as he spoke. “The boy was a prince. His face was lovely…beautiful enough to entrance the God despite his superiority. One day the boy and the God were throwing a discus. The boy was entranced by the disc and ran to catch it.” Karasu’s hand strayed to his mask and he laughed darkly. “But another God loved the boy. He observed the…relations the two had and grew insanely jealous. So he redirected the wind and blew the disc into the prince’s skull,” Karasu lowered his hand now, “The boy died in the God’s arms. The God tried to kill himself, but to no avail. He was immortal. So instead he crafted a beautiful flower from the blood of his dead lover. Harry should be careful,” Karasu warned without a transition from his story. “If both Fred and George love him…One would much rather kill a beloved,” he sighed and some kind of lust sparked in his eyes, “then let him live with anyone else.”

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

This question was much less interesting than the last. “If you have a job that requires paperwork,” Karasu started to pick dirt from under his fingernails, “then there will always be paperwork on your desk.”

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Karasu didn’t look up from his nails. “You are only useless if you’re weak. If anyone thinks that I’m weak,” his fingernails sufficiently clean, he looked up at the quill, “I dare them to prove my uselessness.”

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you
do.

A bribe? Karasu tilted his head again as he considered what he could offer a group of people he’d never met. “Well…” he began, “…I can easily go undetected while following people.” In other words, he was an efficient stalker. “But if it’s something tangible you want,” he purred and folded his arms across his exposed chest, “I’m sure we can work something out. There’s not much you can suggest that will turn me away.”

"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. からす (Karasu)
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. からす (Karasu).
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. からす (Karasu).
One day, marmalade will rule the world. からす (Karasu)"