Little Black Bird, Fly Away Home ((Sock, Mello, Kusu, RP Kusu, Kurama))

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri was in his office studying when a tap at his door caused him to look up. A blond head he hadn’t seen in much more than passing looked in on him. “Mello? It’s been a while.” He beckoned the boy in. “It is usually Near who comes by.”

Mello entered the room, bending to work his boots off before stepping onto the tatami mats. He bowed slightly, enough to be respectful. “Near is resting,” he said, a slight smugness under his tone.

“I see,” Kusuriyuri replied calmly. “And you require?” he asked when the boy sat cross-legged across from him.

“If it’s not too much trouble,” Mello began, “more of what you usually give Near. And,” he paused a moment.

“And?” Kusuriyuri prompted, not remembering Mello to be hesitant.

Mello looked at the door and then rose. He crossed the room, closed the door, and then returned to his seat. “Kurama?” he asked.

“Is in the greenhouses,” Kusuriyuri replied, confused at the question. If Mello wanted Kurama, he should know that, but there was a hesitancy to the question.

Mello nodded, still hesitating. “I…Last time we went out, I asked him about something that upset him, something he’d glossed over and was filled in more by Hiei. He reacted rather badly to it. I’m fairly certain he would have hurt me. Hell, he almost destroyed his coffee cup.”

There was a pause and Kusuriyuri watched Mello. The boy ran his hand through his hair and looked distinctly uncomfortable. “And?” he prompted when it seemed Mello wouldn’t continue without being prompted.

Mello almost jumped as if he’d been lost in his own thoughts. “Call it a hunch, but I think he needs to talk about it, to work it out of his head.” He shrugged. “If he has talked to you about it, great. But, if not…” Mello looked at the door again. “I’m sure you know this,” he said, looking back at Kusuriyuri, “but he respects you and he’s so in love with you, he’s an utter dope. I think you might be able to get him to talk about something he’d just deck me for.”

Kusuriyuri regarded Mello for a moment. “What brings on this hunch?” he asked.

Mello seemed to straighten slightly. “This place doesn’t always bring those you’d like to be here. With Hiei arriving, there’s always a chance that someone else, maybe even that Karasu person, would show up. While it’s not much, it’s better to try and be prepared for it, isn’t it?”

Picking up the now cold tea from his desk, Kusuriyuri asked, “And what brings on your concern?”

“Kurama’s my friend. If I thought I could help him with this, that he’d actually let me, I’d do it. But, I think if I press the situation, I’ll end up being pounded into the ground and losing my friend, at the very least.” Mello shifted. “But, from what I’ve seen, I’m sure you could bring it up, get him to talk about it without that happening.”

“What makes you so sure?” Kusuriyuri asked.

“I’m just his friend. You are his lover and partner. I think, just based off talking to him, it would actually break something in his head if he were to lose you whereas there would be almost no consequences if he lost me. These give you both a greater degree of intimacy and more leverage in getting him to do what needs to be done.” Mello looked at the desk. “I know it’s asking you to risk a lot,” he began.

“I do not think you know what you are asking me to risk,” Kusuriyuri cut him off coldly.

“Like hell I don’t,” Mello shot back hotly, glaring at Kusuriyuri. “I’ve been trying to figure out how I’d react if Near spoke to me about something this delicate. That’s the closest analog I have. Each scenario I can come up with results in Near means too much to give up.” He glared at Kusuriyuri. “I had to tell Near about something I was sure was going to piss him off at me. But it didn’t because I told him. Had he heard it from anyone else, he would have been pissed at me and taken it out on me. As it worked out, our relationship is fine.”

Calmly, almost coldly, Kusuriyuri asked, “And you think this is parallel?”

Mello scowled. “It’s not a perfect parallel, no. But, I believe that Kurama will listen to you where he won’t listen to me and will talk to you about things he won’t talk to me about.” Mello’s hands fisted in his lap. “That thing he gave you, it wasn’t impulsive. I’m sure of that.”

Unconsciously, Kusuriyuri’s hand rose to his pendant. “He told you of that?”

“He’s ridiculously happy that you accepted it,” Mello replied, his tone softer.

In lieu of an answer, Kusuriyuri rose, gathered the herbs he usually gave Near and handed them to Mello. He sat again, returning to his studying, ignoring the blond in his office.

“Thanks,” Mello said, rising to his feet and bowing.

“Next time, send Near,” Kusuriyuri said shortly.

“Only if I have nothing important to say,” Mello replied.

Kusuriyuri did not reply, only tried to focus on the books before him. His mind, however, replayed Mello’s words and the concern behind them. He knew Kurama had darknesses in him that he’d not touched yet, that the kitsune guarded. He knew that fear was part of the reason he guarded them.

He also knew Mello was right. He knew that the kitsune had given him greater access than he’d given anyone else before. Part of him respected this and wished to keep that access by not abusing it. But, he knew that he had a responsibility, a duty to Kurama and himself, to press when it was needed.

But, if Mello’s ‘hunch’ came to naught, then what? There was nothing fruitful down that path, Kusuriyuri decided. It came down to a matter of when, then. When would he speak to Kurama?

Where was relatively simple to decide upon. His office was warded and while it had warm memories, it held fewer than their apartment. Would it still be theirs after this conversation? If Mello was right about the depth of it, there was a risk, a serious one. Kusuriyuri didn’t think that Kurama would break things off so easily, but it would be a test, a strain. And, as much as he enjoyed the idyll, he knew that to truly last, trial would need to be faced. He had just hoped it would be longer in coming.

There was a human phrase. ‘What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.’ He had to believe in its truth.

((OOC: "Karasu" in Japanese refers to black birds, either ravens or crows))

Comments

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

_{(OOC: Posting confirmed and allowed by Mello/Kusu mun.))}

Kurama left the greenhouses earlier than usual today. He'd discovered (quite by accident) that Devil's Snare sap made a potent healer for burns and the like. He figured Kusuriyuri would be interested in the information, so he wrapped a few clippings and headed to the north tower and Kusuriyuri's office.

He spotted Mello along the way, turning the leaving said tower, receiving a distracted-seeming greeting before Mello disappeared down another hallway. He shrugged, figured Mello was busy with something, and continued on his way, making it finally to the office and knocking politely on the door.

"Kusuriyuri? I found something you might be interested in. Are you busy?"

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri did not believe in anything called coincidence. "Not busy. There has been no time to become busy again," he replied, beckoning Kurama in.

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Which explained Mello. He smiled and took off his shoes, kneeling at the table and placing the cuttings in front of him. "I found out Devil's Snare is rather good at healing mild burns," he said without preamble. "Faster acting than aloe, but it stings awful. I thought it might be useful to you."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"What was it Shirogitsune was doing that he found Devil's Snare to be good for burns?" Kusuriyuri asked, drawing the cuttings closer to himself.

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"Trying to get it out of the Lantern Flower beds. It's been spreading and only responds to fire or being cut." He held up a hand, showing a fading burn on the side of his palm. "I got a little careless with the fire spell, but was lucky enough to brush against a cut bit of the vine. It's almost entirely healed, now."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri held Kurama's hand, examining it. "Shirogitsune does not react well to fire," he said blandly enough.

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"It isn't among my top favorite elements, no." He wriggled his fingers, feeling none of the earlier sting. "Which is probably why I burned myself in the first place. I didn't practice enough."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"It is unlike Shirogitsune to lack practice with anything," Kusuriyuri said. "Is there cause?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

He smiled, lying without even realizing it. It was so easy to bury reasons for his fear of fire that he didn't even have to think about it half the time. "No particular cause, fire isn't an element I'm used to. That's more Hiei's area."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri frowned, tightening his grip on Kurama's hand. "This one has said multiple times that if Shirogitsune wishes not to speak of something then he should say so. This one knows Truth. What is the cause?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Kurama blinked, startled by both the grip and the sudden intensity in Kusuriyuri's voice. And then came the realization, and with it, a kind of frightened anger. Mello and Hiei were the only ones who knew any details, however vague on Mello's part, concerning his phobia and the reasons behind it.

Hiei had made himself scarce, and hadn't made a secret of his dislike for Kusuiryuri and wouldn't mention such personal things to him, so that left... Mello. And what Mello had was a name, a guess, and tenacity.

"What do you already know?" He asked, trying to keep any intense emotion from his voice. He would not allow himself to be angry at Kusuriyuri for his concern. Though he could allow himself to be a little pissed at Mello, and doubly irritated at Hiei.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"A name and your avoidance of the subject and the change in your energy around fire and when the topic is brought up." Kusuriyuri's frown deepened. "Mello brought a name, little else. He expressed concern that you would 'flatten him' when he spoke to you of it. And now you would try to lie to me?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Kurama winced, chewing the inside of his lip. He hadn't overtly meant to lie, but he knew he was guilty of it. And he couldn't fault Mello for the assumption that he'd react badly. If Mello had pushed hit, he probably would've gotten a fist to the face and the cold shoulder for a very long time.

Kurama often told people that he never left anything behind. That was true; he carried the weight of his whole life on his back. And now it was starting to become crushing and he couldn't bring himself to put it down.

"It is..." He looked down and away, pushing memories of blood and fire and laughter away as well as he could. "It is very complicated."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri lifted Kurama's chin. "And you think this one not capable?" he asked, his tone only slightly softened. "Explain it to me that I might understand why you would lie, why you would hide from me."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"I don't think I'm capable," he said, wanting deeply to pull away from Kusuriyuri's grip, and knowing that it would hurt both of them - perhaps irreparably - if he did. "There is Truth and there is Reason. When does the Form come? I don't want to know that form again."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri looked at Kurama for a long moment. "Then, believe in me. Give me that Truth, that Reason that the form may become mine to deal with."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Kurama stared, horrified. "N-no, I can't... I can't make that your burden. Please," he gripped Kusuriyuri's hand back, half for the comfort of the touch, half to not see how it was visibly shaking. "It'll die on its own, eventually. I can deal with it until then."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"Mello is concerned that Karasu will appear," Kusuriyuri said calmly, knowing as he did that he was cutting Kurama deeply. "He is youkai, is he not?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Kurama shuddered, closing his eyes, recoiling as if he'd been slapped. He could very nearly feel the brush of ice-cold fingers against his neck, in his hair... God, if only Kusuriyuri hadn't said his name. If he hadn't mentioned the possibility that had been plaguing Kurama's nightmares since he'd come here.

"Ka-" his throat worked a moment, dry and disobedient. He paused and tried again, his voice low and soft. "Karasu was youkai, yes."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"Why does he haunt you? You are strong." Kusuriyuri paused a moment, not long enough for Kurama to start answering. "I know it is painful, but it is far less painful to extract these things than to keep them hidden."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"I wasn't then," he murmured, though grudgingly. He knew Kusuriyuri would push, though, and eventually he would have to face it. "I was young, and weak, and..." he shook his head, closing his eyes. "You know you can't stop me, but you continue to try all the same. That's what so appealing about you." Why, why did that always come back to him? Like a premonition, some sick promise. Like he could turn a corner and Karasu would be there, waiting for him.

"I should... start at the beginning, shouldn't I."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Relief was welcome. Kusuriyuri stroked Kurama's hand. "Please, yes."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

The explaining was easy, at first. He gave a rough description of the Tournament, the events leading up to it, the reason he had gone. He even managed to get through describing Karasu's fighting technique with no more than a small shudder of revulsion. But then...

"He caught me. Before the finals, he and Bui managed to flank me in a hallway. Bui... he went off somewhere, but Karasu..." Why did his hands feel so cold suddenly? "he knew how to get under my skin. What to say. Like he knew me. Not just general psychological warfare, but specifics."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri held both of Kurama's hands in his, rubbing them gently. "What did he know?" he asked, his tone gentle despite the relentlessness of the question.

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"He knew... he'd been watching me, the whole tournament. I didn't notice at first but then I could feel it, and he knew it put me off balance. He knew how I would fight, he knew how I would respond when he confronted me then, he..." Kurama pulled his hands away, putting them to his neck where he could feel ghost-hands closing around his throat.

"Where to touch... what to say... he disgusted me and couldn't get away from him no matter how I tried. Every fight brought us closer together and there was nothing I could do to stop it. And when it happened..." He closed his eyes, ducking his head, cheering crowds and the sharp smell of blood and gunpowder in his nose.