hh_mirror | Astral plane, activate! (HH anniversary plot, RP open to all)

The Sorting Hat had been dabbling in way too many fringe philosophies. (Neo-Rosicrucianism? Really, Sorting Hat?) It seemed that puppet!Ron Weasley's name for it, Sorting Hat the Wise, had gone to the Hat's lack-of-visible-head.

On the morning of Dec. 13 (or was it the 14th?) the Hat's esoteric interests affected the school for the second time.

The first instance had been more than a year past, when the Hat took a cue from Rev. Sun Myung Moon and united most of the Hogwarts students in mass marriages. That had been a lengthy and concerted effort by the Hat and its house-elf minions, opposed vigorously by the wicked (or noble??) Kojiro. Kojiro's kidnapping of the Hat's bride had been something of a turning point for the headstrong headgear.

This new instance ... even Kojiro might be powerless to counter. And the Hat's agency would be difficult, if not impossible, to discern.

In a mighty magical working, the Hat projected many of the students ... to the astral plane, in their astral forms.

Astral Hogwarts resembled the real material Hogwarts (well, the Sorting Hat's version of material Hogwarts) very closely indeed. There were some dissimilarities: did Hogwarts, on the material plane, really sparkle so much? Were there so many rainbows in the sky, without a hint of rain to prompt their presence? Were there really pastel-colored unicorns frolicking on the grounds? Unicorns with hair made of cotton candy?

Could the students fly without brooms in material Hogwarts?

Other than that, it would be instantly recognizable as Hogwarts. The astral students would find nothing jarringly unfamiliar, being astral themselves. No disorientation, as there had been with the mass weddings; only a pleasant surprise, if they did happen to remember the absence of pastel unicorns and self-propelled flight.

Finally the Hat would have achieved paradise! Too bad not all the students could be brought into this happy realm. The Hat hadn't quite figured out how to bring everyone en masse. But many of them could be.

Including Kojiro, perhaps ...

(( OOC note: People are welcome to RP astral shenanigans here, or to start their own new posts for interactions of a closed variety. Please, if you embark on NSFW action, make a new post so that it can be lj-cut with appropriate warnings. ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"What on earth is a fucking pouf?" Daisy directs at the redhead she had met once, Mister Weasley. She drinks from her gin and tonic, and offers him some of it as well, feeling generous but only to better herself. She didn't feel like making anymore enemies with males, especially because, although she would never go for Mr. Weasley herself, he might have some friends who might fit her needs.

"And why do you want to find a snake, or a bird?"

"Your mum!" Ron said in response to the 'pouf' question, because Daisy was a pretty girl and thus was probably a heroine who needed some obstacles to overcome. Astral Ron made a fantastic obstacle! He took her drink and downed it in one go, since he did his best victimizing while drunk. He was remarkably good at being villainous while smashed, while Ron regularly just muttered something about furries before passing out.

"So I can bully it!" Astral Ron announced.

"Mister Weasley, though I still don't know what a 'pouf' is, my mother is certainly not one." She snaps her fingers for another two glasses of gin and tonic, making one land in his hand, she sips from hers the moment it's there, realizing she might need to keep up with his drinking habits if she wanted to have some fun tonight.

"And why on earth," she drinks in between pauses, "would you want to bully a snake? It's a fucking animal! It can't fight back! Especially, with a bird!"

She copies Mr. Weasley and downs the rest of her drink in one sip, wincing at the bitter taste.

"Maybe not, but she sure is shagging one. A pouf. Who's your dad. Because your mum is a MAN!" He punched the air with triumph, because he bloody GOT her. She was totally going to cry any second now, and then Ron's job could be done and he could get on with the countless other things he had to do because there were bloody dozens of Slytherins, girls, and gay blokes in Hogwarts. Dozens!

"That's the whole point!" Ron announced. "It's not bullying if they're fighting back. That's just fighting. But, you know, I can't actually go on arguing about semantics right now. Because I'm bloody stupid is what I am. Dur," Ron added just to be safe.

Daisy laughed herself into a tizzy off of everything Mister Weasley had said to her. "M-My mum's a man? Ha ha ha! Oh my, Mister Weasley, was that a joke? And my dad's a homosexual? Oh, Mister Weasley, you really are a laugh!" She snaps for another gin and tonic, continuing to drink up.

"And bloody stupid, I don't think you're that, otherwise you wouldn't have a position at this school. Dur." She snaps back; her flattery is just as bad as his bullying.

Astral Ron certainly wasn't expecting that reaction. He backed away while holding both of his long hands up. "Alright, calm down! Calm down! Everyone just bloody calm down! I think... I think you might have just laughed yourself into a tizzy." He swallowed. "Merlin's beard, it's a bloody tizzy!" He turned around to scream desperately, "IS THERE A MEDIC-WIZARD AROUND? PREFERABLY ONE THAT'S A STRAIGHT MALE GRYFFINDOR SO I DON'T GOT TO BULLY 'EM!?"

And, because Astral Ron was indeed somewhat stupid, he only then recalled a word that Daisy had said much earlier in their conversation.

"BIRDS!"

And Ron fell flat on the ground, hands covering his head.

Daisy quiets her laughing and shakes her head and Mister Weasley's immediate drop to the floor. "Mister W-do you have a first name I could call you? Mister Weasley is such a mouthful every time." She kneels down next to him, rubbing his back gently.

"There are no birds here, hon. Just a bunch of other people. But no birds."

"It's only..." He counted with his fingers. "Four of 'em. Besides, you should be used to mouthfuls by now! HA!" All right, he now just implied that she was a whore. All in a day's work for Astral Ron.

But he then swallowed before asking, "So, no birds? Or some buxom girl with Herbal Essences hair who has changed over the summer?"

Daisy smirks at the whore comment and stands up, locking her hip in her stance. "I've very used to mouthfuls, Mister Weasley. In fact, it's been too long since I've had one, so thank you for filling my mouth with your name." She bites her lip flirtatiously.

"And no, there are no birds. Or chesty women around. Just me."

Astral plane, activate! (HH anniversary plot, RP open to all)

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