Astral plane, activate! (HH anniversary plot, RP open to all)

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

The Sorting Hat had been dabbling in way too many fringe philosophies. (Neo-Rosicrucianism? Really, Sorting Hat?) It seemed that puppet!Ron Weasley's name for it, Sorting Hat the Wise, had gone to the Hat's lack-of-visible-head.

On the morning of Dec. 13 (or was it the 14th?) the Hat's esoteric interests affected the school for the second time.

The first instance had been more than a year past, when the Hat took a cue from Rev. Sun Myung Moon and united most of the Hogwarts students in mass marriages. That had been a lengthy and concerted effort by the Hat and its house-elf minions, opposed vigorously by the wicked (or noble??) Kojiro. Kojiro's kidnapping of the Hat's bride had been something of a turning point for the headstrong headgear.

This new instance ... even Kojiro might be powerless to counter. And the Hat's agency would be difficult, if not impossible, to discern.

In a mighty magical working, the Hat projected many of the students ... to the astral plane, in their astral forms.

Astral Hogwarts resembled the real material Hogwarts (well, the Sorting Hat's version of material Hogwarts) very closely indeed. There were some dissimilarities: did Hogwarts, on the material plane, really sparkle so much? Were there so many rainbows in the sky, without a hint of rain to prompt their presence? Were there really pastel-colored unicorns frolicking on the grounds? Unicorns with hair made of cotton candy?

Could the students fly without brooms in material Hogwarts?

Other than that, it would be instantly recognizable as Hogwarts. The astral students would find nothing jarringly unfamiliar, being astral themselves. No disorientation, as there had been with the mass weddings; only a pleasant surprise, if they did happen to remember the absence of pastel unicorns and self-propelled flight.

Finally the Hat would have achieved paradise! Too bad not all the students could be brought into this happy realm. The Hat hadn't quite figured out how to bring everyone en masse. But many of them could be.

Including Kojiro, perhaps ...


(( OOC note: People are welcome to RP astral shenanigans here, or to start their own new posts for interactions of a closed variety. Please, if you embark on NSFW action, make a new post so that it can be lj-cut with appropriate warnings. ))

Comments

[rosecasson.livejournal.com]

But Rose Casson cares not for unicorns and glitter. She is an artist. Her rooms in this Hogwarts are covered with disturbing yet brilliant murals in shades of red, grey and black. Sometimes there are skulls. Or guns. Sometimes she draws in eyeliner and then cries at the beauty of it all (and also because eyeliner wears down fast and she has to keep getting new pencils.)

So in a little Fall Out Boy hoodie, raccoon eyes and saggy jeans, Rose (with miraculously flattened hair, though she never seemed to care before), is busy glaring at the sun for being so bright when her PAIN needs to SHINE THROUGH her ART.

[vislor-turlough.livejournal.com]

"Doctor!" Turlough pouted prettily as he peered out the door. This wasn't the TARDIS? And where was the Doctor? How are they supposed to be pretty together if they aren't together?

He's even in something showing off his legs, too!

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Shibuya Yuuri is looking for his fiancé. He is deeply, deeply in love with his fiancé, in a way that involves lots of angsty denial and repressed lust.

He also wants them to have, like, at least five children together. They have one adopted daughter, Greta, already in Shin Makoku. But he wants many more. Only by having children can he and Wolfram forge a real family. (He wonders whether Wolfram will bake cookies and wear a frilly pink apron. He seems to have forgotten that Wolfram and kitchens do not go together.)

He spies a child -- one who even looks a little like Greta! -- and at once his extreme wish to (co-)parent all children springs into action.

"Hi there, little girl! Your hair is so flat! You know who can make hair really pretty? Daddy Wolfram! He has the prettiest hair of anyone," Yuuri enthuses at poor Rose.

[rosecasson.livejournal.com]

Rose has Daddy Issues. Astrally, they're blown up even more. Her eyes fill with tears and eyeliner streaks paint her cheeks.

'I don't need to be pretty. I am only alive through my art. My art is me. I am my art. My body does not matter!!'

Yes, she pronounces those two !!s. Rose is not referring to self-mutilation with the 'body' remark, don't worry. She just smells a bit. Bodies that don't matter don't need to wash.

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Astral Yuuri shares the idealism of real Yuuri, except that it takes weird forms sometimes. On the one hand, he does think Rose should feel free to be herself. On the other hand, he is sure that bodies matter especially Wolfram's. Little girls should not have messy faces, not that there is anything wrong with messy faces ... it's just that their parents should take care of them and keep them clean!

Appallingly, with a gesture he must have learned from his mother, Yuuri finds a bandanna in his pocket and LICKS it to make a damp spot. He then extends this toward Rose, as if he plans to wipe her cheeks with it.

Ew.

"You've got smudges on your face now!" he scolds gently.

[rosecasson.livejournal.com]

She skips backwards, scowls because she was made to skip, and slouches again.

'It's performance art. An installation. And it's not my fault you made me cry, what with saying Dad--Da--the D-word.' Rose stares nobly into the distance, fists clenched, and she takes great theatrical shuddering whoops of air so he'll understand that the emotion she feels now is Pain. Or Upset, whatever, it's all his fault, and HE'LL BE SORRY.

[methleigh.livejournal.com]

Severus waits and looks from his high window at the scene below, but in private his large dark eyes brim with tears of loneliness. It is so beautiful. If only he had someone to share it with. No one will ever understand him. But there is a part of him that knows they never will. They are unworthy of his fine emotions. In his mind's eye he is down in the garden with his own true love, petting the unicorn. "Oh may I help you to mount, my lady?" But it is all a dream. It will always be a dream - his own precious, secret dream. He puts on his dark clothes mourning the sorrow and pain that is his lot and descends to breakfast. The walls mock him, sparkling in their glints of joyful light.

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

"What happened? Get lost on your way out of a brothel?" Yukimura asks, swinging around a bottle of cheap whiskey.

[righteous-pen.livejournal.com]

The castle is sparkly today. Obviously this is in honour of Kami! and his magnificent radiance. ('Kira kira' means sparkle, it makes PERFECT SENSE.)

To celebrate, Mikami has donned a frilly pink apron over his work clothes, and is baking cookies.

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Maddie, for once, was feeling quite serious about being here at Hogwarts. Everything was as it should be; the rainbows, the unicorns. Everything exactly perfect. She sat in the Great Hall, sipping tea, a proper lady.

[vislor-turlough.livejournal.com]

"No. I'm not in the TARDIS...and I'm on EARTH! I don't want to be here, I want to be with the Doctor!"

[sir-knits-a-lot.livejournal.com]

An apron. He wondered if his Gunter would wear an apron for him. It would look so nice with his long flowing hair.

Ah, Gunter, where are you?

"Excuse me. Have you seen a man with long white hair around here? He'd be dressed in white too?"

[righteous-pen.livejournal.com]

"You can't have any cookies!" Mikami declared, spinning round dramatically to ward off the interloper. "The cookies belong to Kira! Touch them and be sakujo'd."

...at which point he realised what the actual question had been. "Er... no, I haven't. Sorry."

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

Ryuk flitted around Mikami's head. He didn't think much beyond his next apple.

[sir-knits-a-lot.livejournal.com]

"Who is this Kira person. There's no way he or she or it could be as great as Gunter," Gwendal said, his hands clasped under his chin, batting his eyes. He then points accusingly at the apron wearing freak. "You! You did something to him."

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

Yukimura snorts. "You want someone to play doctor with? Why did you say so?" He moves to lean on the man in his underclothes, sloshing a bit of whiskey around. "I'll play doctor with you."

[righteous-pen.livejournal.com]

"Hi, Ryuk!" Mikami handed him an apple from the pocket of his apron. It was a spacious pocket, and contained many things. "Have you seen Kami today?"

[vislor-turlough.livejournal.com]

Turlough moved so Yukimura fell on his face. "But you're not MY Doctor."

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"Ryuk hasn't seen Light!" The apple was about as big as he was, and he floated down to the ground to eat it.

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

Yukimura rolled over, spilling most of his whiskey. "But, I'd be good at it," he insists, blinking in confusion at suddenly looking up the man's shorts. "Nice," he laughs.

[blond-bondshell.livejournal.com]

He liked his women like his martinis: strong, cold, and good at going down slowly.

He had a martini in one hand and a gun in the other. The women were sure to follow. The aloof and tuxedo-clad figure eyed the Astral Plane and glittery unicorns with cool a gaze that hinted and danger, adventure, and sex. And then more sex.

Who was this mystery man?

Bond. James Bond.

[righteous-pen.livejournal.com]

"How dare you! Kira is Justice, and more righteous and magnificent and glittery than any others!" He reached for his pen, and a familiar black notebook. "You will pay for your blasphemy! SAKUJO!"

There was a flash of red light as he wrote Gwendal's name, and then an awkward silence. "...oh. This is the wrong book, there's a grocery list in here."

[blond-bondshell.livejournal.com]

"How do you like it?" Bond asked Maddie, possibly meaning the tea. "Strong and hot?"

[righteous-pen.livejournal.com]

"Well, if you see him, tell him I'm baking him cookies!"

[darkwithoutme.livejournal.com]

Of course the sparkly castle is honouring Kira, that is why on this special day that doesn't make any sense Kira has appeared! With his buttoned shirt open to show everyone the glory of his death note (let's just say it is Rem's or something), which is sticking out half-way from the front of his pants, Kira proudly strolls about the castle.