A whole barrel of it ((Closed, Kusuriyuri/Kurama))

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Kurama was sure that one of the reasons he didn't like gods and tended to try and stay away from them was because, for some inexplicable reason, they liked to use him as a little cat-toy. Bat him around a little here, let him think he's free for a minute, then start chewing on his head for a while.

It's starting to get old, and the string of his patience has been growing short. He was sick of working in the greenhouses, bored of staying in his office or his room, and not yet intrigued enough to start really exploring the castle. What he wanted now was to be around someone calming.

Kusuriyuri, of course, was the calmest person he knew. Kurama also adored spending time with him, so it was in search of the Medicine Peddler he went, first deciding to check his office.

He paused at the door and knocked politely, in case any students were in or Kusuriyuri was busy.

Comments

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"I especially like the sound of that last part," he smiled, taking Kusuriyuri's hand in his own. He took a breath, then told Kusuriyuri about the day... his conversations with L and Yukimura, finishing with a grimace on his face as he recounted Yukimura's parting shot.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri listened, both to what Kurama said and how it affected the flow of energy around him. He continued to listen after Kurama stopped talking. "As for L, I did attempt to warn you, but I also believed that it was more important to deshi's safety and those around him that you continue his training. I shall speak with L again, if you desire it. What disturbs you more, Shirogitsune, that Yukimura was correct or your own curiosity?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"I had a feeling speaking to L would be playing with fire, I am sure we will have words again in the future. As for the rest..." he shrugged helplessly. "You know me, I hate not knowing things - especially if they relate to me or something I may have done."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri regarded Kurama a long moment. "If Shirogitsune does not wish to discuss what disturbs him, he may say so," he said softly. "Partial truths are not beneficial."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Kurama did wince that time. He squeezed Kusuriyuri's hand and tried not to look down or away.

"I'm sorry, I... I am troubled because so much of me is still so connected to my old life, and any connection here I instantly latch on to. I am also troubled because Yukimura is so very good at making me feel bad about myself."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri drew Kurama closer, holding him close. "Shirogitsune lost much when he came to the human world, and again when he came here." He thought a moment more. "As I recall, kitsune are social creatures, needing the comfort of a group." He ran his fingers through Kurama's hair. "I do not think it is so much that Yukimura makes you feel bad as that he focuses what you are feeling, perhaps?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"Probably," he mumbled, burying his face in Kusuriyuri's shoulder. Though Yukimura sure did know how to bury the knife in deep, sometimes. "Most likely. He is a good friend, he knows how I think even though we've only known each other a short time," he turned his head so he could look up into Kusuriyuri's face, and smiled. "Though not as well as you."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"He is perceptive," Kusuriyuri murmured, continuing to stroke Kurama's hair. "I think perhaps you two are not dissimilar. Both of you think constantly, puzzling out what you will do, reaching answers based on what you observe before you fully know it." He smiled and gently kissed Kurama. "In knowing you, I have an advantage," he admitted softly.

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

He knew it was meant to comfort, but Kurama felt his heart sink just a little nonetheless.
"Please don't... don't think of it as advantages or disadvantages. I love you. I maybe could have loved him, but... not like this."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri blinked once. "I do not doubt you love me, Kurama. There are many types of love, Shirogitsune." He caressed Kurama's cheek. "I do not feel as if I am in competition with anyone, nor do I feel you must only love me." He thought a moment. "I love deshi. Does this disturb you, Shirogitsune?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"No, not at all, that's not what I..." he sighed and leaned once again against Kusuriyuri, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I think maybe I should stop trying to talk myself around things that have a path right through them."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri held Kurama close. "It is part of who you are, Shirogitsune." He ran his fingers through the silvering hair. "You seek all the paths, trying to plan ahead many steps beyond the present. It has served you well in the past, but it becomes a hindrance when actions and decisions must be made in the short term." There was no judgment in his tone, only acceptance of who and what Kurama was.

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"This place makes it very difficult to stay ten steps ahead of everything else," he said, the beginning of a laugh building behind the words. "I never know what will happen."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"And, in some cases, that is very good," Kusuriyuri teased Kurama lightly. He placed a kiss on Kurama's forehead. "In some cases, it can be frustrating. But, it is what is," he said softly.

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"It makes things more interesting, at least," he smiled, returning the kiss. He sat up, still holding Kusuriyuri lightly, and took a breath.
"I think that is enough melancholy from me. Are you too terribly busy today?"

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"Nothing that will not wait," Kusuriyuri replied. "Mostly just remembering what was known. What is it you would wish of me?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"There is some place I would like to show you, if you don't mind a little walk," he smiled, a little secretive expression. Only one other person knew of the place he was hoping to bring Kusuriyuri, and he doubted A would be going back there so soon.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri nodded. "I should be delighted to go with you, Shirogitsune."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

He grinned and stood, taking Kusuriyuri's hand in his own.

"While we walk, talk to me. Tell me how things have gone for you lately?"

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri considered the question while stepping into his geta. "Well. It is amusing to see those things I remember written down in different forms, though. Telling, how Buddha has taken the place of the older gods in their stories. How the older gods replaced those who were not named, even. But, the essence, the truth, remains the same."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Kurama considered this as they made their way down the hallways to the Great Hall.
"Buddha has become a popular figurehead, of late. It isn't uncommon that popular, well-known gods replace their older contemporaries. Makes it more accessible, don't you think?"

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

After a moment consideration, Kusuriyuri allowed, "It is the truth that matters, more so than the name, provided the name does not change the truth. It is the nature of humans, and youkai to a large extent, to assign names to things that they may be understood."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"Mm, very true. To name something makes it tangible, more real. It's comforting."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"Some names, more comforting than others," Kusuriyuri murmured. "Some more personal, some treasured, even." He glanced up at the ceiling. "A name gives power over that which is named."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"Names can be rigid designators," Kurama murmured. "Now I'm remembering all the classes in philosophy I took during school..." a laugh, "we could go on for hours."