Owl from Mello to A

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

A,

Hey, just wanted to make sure you and the kittens cats are doing okay. If you need anything, let me know. I'll be in the common room for a while, avoiding the library like the plague if you want to talk.

M.

Comments

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I'm sitting over by one of the windows, looking out it at the lake when I hear him come in. "Hey," I call softly, letting him know I'm there. I don't move yet, waiting for him to approach me. He still looks spooked.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

Spooked is a good word. A's been restless and upset almost constantly.

"H-hello."

It's not quite a whisper, but almost as soft, and if A hadn't stepped closer Mello might not have heard him.

"Schrodinger and Einstein are well. They've been a little quiet, though."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I really don't know how to approach him, but he's here, so he must at least not mind my company. "They care about you very much. They were worried the other day."

I look at my feet, dangling just off the floor before looking over at him. "How are you doing?" I know the answer just by looking at him, but it's an effort to get him to feel more comfortable or something.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"I'm worried." A bites his lip. "I need, oh, I need to do something. How can I just let..."

He's shaking a little, but not quite verging on tears.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"It's not a matter of 'let,' A. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to prevent something, it happens anyway. My own death was like that. I knew it was a big risk, and I tried to cover as many of them as I could, but I couldn't cover them all." I look at my feet again. "I promised you the whole story. If you want, I'll tell you what I can, how things happened."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"But if you knew, if you already exactly knew..."

He exhales, seeming to deflate, and bows his head.

"Tell, yes, tell me."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I scoot over a little. "Sit with me, A. It's a long story, and I know it will be difficult for you to hear. If you'll allow me to tell it all the way through, I'll answer any questions you have."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

With a wary nod, A crawls onto the couch, tucking his legs underneath him. "I. I won't interrupt."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I collect my thoughts. An accurate recount of the case without the digs I put in when I told L is a little challenging. "It began in late 2003, when a bored overachiever found a Death Note, a notebook that, when you wrote someone's name in it, they would die of a heart attack. He wanted to bring justice to the world, to rid it of crime." God, putting Light in a positive light is...ugh, but...

I told him about Light's incarceration, leaving out the part about Misa by name, only mentioning that there was a second person, no where near as smart, only wanting to be near Light.

I told him about Yotsuba, how we figured at that point Light had given up his Death Note and lost his memories of it.

I told him of the fake rules and how L was going to test them and how with that test, Light would have been captured had the test gone through, how the other Kira would have been captured, but that her shinegami killed Watari and L to save her and died as well.

I look over to see how he was doing. "We did win, though," I reassure him.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

A can sympathize, perhaps even agree, with Light's initial motives. But that agreement vanishes upon hearing that Light had taken to killing law enforcement officers that sought him, when it would have been easier to simply change his MO, be more subtle.

He can't find it in himself to regret Watari's death.

"He used someone else to kill L," A breathes, eyes glinting angrily. "It wasn't just him, there was someone else."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"Yes," I said, and before he could continue, I added, "The rest, A."

I told him how Near and I had been chosen, though since L died before he could pick which of us, we'd been asked to work together. I told him we worked separately, though. I explained our hunt through the notes L had left behind, gathering resources, of my work through the mafia to get to a point where we would have the clout to challenge Light since he'd taken to using L's name.

I told him how Near and I maneuvered Light into a corner, and how I died, how Matt died, and what I learned from Near of how Light went completely crazy and tried to kill everyone in the Yellow Box only to be caught after he confessed and of his own shinegami writing his name into the Death Note, of how Light snapped and begged for mercy and how it couldn't be found.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

Light's death wasn't enough, A thinks bitterly. He didn't (wouldn't?) suffer enough.

One thing does make him smile a little, though.

"You made his father die?"

Nevermind that he's met Soichiro Yagami, that Soichiro was very kind to him. If it hurt Light at all, even a little...

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"I didn't want him to die. He wasn't the enemy, just being used. I knew there was a chance, that he might have survived." We'll ignore the fact that he gave my name to that bastard. "I also didn't want to die, not before Light was cornered. I knew that I had information Near didn't and I had to get it to him."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"L likes Near," A says a little distractedly. "He says they are friends."

Which is enough to make A think a little kindly of him, even though they don't really know each other.

"But, he just... Light, he just..." A says aloud what he had been thinking. "It was too easy."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"Maybe, but it was the worst think he could do to Light. He died in shame, raving, trapped by someone he didn't see as a worthy opponent. Near would have imprisoned him, only that wasn't an option the way things happened. With as many witnesses as they were and the enormity of the crimes he committed, there would have been a battle over the right to kill him and how."

I turned to face him. "He died like a rat and L's death was avenged, A. He was made a fool, a mockery. He died without dignity. He died knowing that L had defeated him. Near took up L's name, his purpose, everything, before he walked into the Yellow Box. Light lost to and died in front of L."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"Too easy," A repeats, but it's at least a little consolation, to know that Light was defeated by L's friend.

"But it's not right. That he killed L."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"I agree. Light wasn't worthy of L. If it hadn't been for the notebook, L never would have been involved. It was only the method of death and proving in that drew L in. And you know, when one of us gets a puzzle, we don't stop until it's solved. Light was just scum with a parlor trick, that's all." I turn to face him. "He's not worthy of you, either. You're one of us. He's beneath all of us."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"Stupid," A says a little smugly. "Something untraceable, and he got caught at all."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I nod, smiling, glad he's got the idea. "Exactly. None of us would have been caught so stupidly. Just think, he had the perfect weapon and he still got caught. Without his little Death Note, he's nothing. There's no way he could hurt L or any of us here. As for the other timeline, it's been four years. Near and I will begin putting the pressure on Light in a year. In this place, though, there's no record of that case. We've all looked."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"But even if he can't, can't here, he would. He would hurt L." A frowns again, wanting desperately to be able to act, to make Light suffer for even thinking, under any circumstances, of hurting L.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I reach over and touch the back of A's hand very lightly. "Light is a coward, A. He hid behind a Death Note, a stolen name, a voice modulator. He's nothing. I know how you feel. I understand, I really do. I felt the same way when I heard about B's threats against Matt. That's why I practiced so hard with Matt, why I spent so much time in the library. Looking for the best way to keep him safe. It worked, too. L practices with me, both magic and fighting. If you want, I'll practice with you, too, so you're as strong as you can be. That, I think, is the best thing you can do."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"But we hurt B," A says with satisfaction. "I made him hurt. Punished him."

Oh, how he wishes he could hurt Light the same way. Make him bleed, make him plead, scar him forever.

"I would like to learn. I would like to be strong."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"We hurt B because he attacked. If Light attacks, we will go after him, as well, all of us. But, we do not initiate, A. That makes us no better than them and we are better."

I nod. "We'll start, then. But, first, I would like to see the cats. They've gotten big since I last got a chance to play with them and they didn't want to leave you the other day." I really do like petting them. Near needn't worry, though. I don't want to sleep with them. One bed partner is quite enough.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"I am sure they will be glad to see you," A says agreeably. "They like you. Would you like to give them some catnip?"

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"Catnip?" I ask, just stopping myself from asking if it really is like pot for cats since I don't think he'd get the reference. "Yeah, that'd be cool. And, when they're played out, we'll go to the dojo and I'll see what you know and where we need to start, okay?"