Antubis From Kingdom Hospital

[do-me-a-solid.livejournal.com]

Antubis had done what he had stayed in Kingdom Hospital for, finally. Mary was now safe and in a better place, and he had repayed all the favors he owed to the various people he had dealings with throughout the course of his time here. He stood up on his hind legs and stretched, growling as he did so. To anyone who didn't know him it would be a menacing growl. Those who knew him were aware he could be a lot more menacing than that.

He started lumbering down into the old kingdom, on his way to what Mary would call "the in between place." For now he had decided to keep the form Mary's mispronunciation of his true name gave him. He looked like a mix between a three toed sloth and an anteater, albiet much bigger. And neither of those creatures has incredibly sharp teeth like him.

As he carried on down the old kingdom hallway, he heard a song that had become very familiar to him begin to play. ((http://youtube.com/watch?v=swarVZkC9-E)) So far it had only seemed to play when something important was happening, which confused Antubis. He thought everything was done here. Soon, though, he saw an obviously disturbed and evil man in pajamas brandishing a toothbrush. Hearing the man repeating the phrase "Hows Annie?" over and over to himself, Antubis knew something had to be done. He followed the man's shrieking laughter through a set of doors.

As he passed through the doorway to find the man, the song grew louder, and he exited into... a great hall of some sort? He regarded the people milling around with casual concern, carrying his body in a way that told everyone he was not afraid or confused in the slightest. As he walked up to the quill that would undoubtedly write down his answers, the song continued to play from somewhere. When he spoke it faded away.



1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

When Antubis speaks, his voice is very slow and cool, almost soothing in a way. "Well, its not exactly cheese, but people say it kind of looks like cottage cheese. Its called escamoles. They eat it down in Mexico, usually on tacos. Basically its ant larvae, and it is ant-solutely delicious."


2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"Well, that would really depend on what either of them have to offer me. Mary Jensen said it better than I could myself. I can cure, and I can kill. And I would do either to Barney or Carrottop if I thought it was in my best interests."


3. What time is it where you are?

"I am here, and I just got here, so I couldn't say. If you are referring to where I came from, its timeless in its own way. Days don't seem very long at all anyway when you've been around as long as I have."


4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"If I was anyone returned from the dead, I'd probably focus on figuring out how to return to my eternal rest. And I'm going to go out a limb and guess that molesting someone probably wouldn't help me do so."


5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Antubis sat on his haunches in thought for a moment, licking his mouth with a long, darting tongue. "I'd probably call it The Guardian of the Gate."


B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

"Compare it to mythology, eh? I suppose I can do that. Fred and George are twins, right? Well I knew someone name Antaios a long time ago. Some people called him "The Twin Falcons." Harry's problem here is that Fred and George seem to be two halves of the same whole, much as my old friend Antaios. Eventually Antaios combined his two halves, and when he did so he also renamed himself Horus. Perhaps, similarly, Harry should consider an ongoing relationship with both Fred and George as they are almost one entity."


C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"Life is a vicious cycle, slick. That's just the way things are. Though it does sound like your desk is seriously racked up."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"I've been alive for thousands of years, in countless different places. I'm sure that a place like that could find a use for what I've learned."


6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Antubis was suddenly bathed in light for a moment, and when the light cleared, there was a young man with long black hair standing in his place. "I can be seen as many different things to many different people, or not be seen at all." The boy faded completely from view, and after a moment the anteater form returned. "Surely this could be used in your interests somehow. The only other thing I'll add is this: This is how it works, I do you a solid, you do me a solid."


"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Antubis
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Antubis
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Antubis
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Antubis

Comments

[do-me-a-solid.livejournal.com]

"Can't say that I know a Judith, but then again I'm sure some names are changed completely between your world and the one I was in."

Antubis thought for a moment Hook might know the man he saw, but he didn't have any scent on him that was similar.

[doctor-hook.livejournal.com]

Names, places, events. "There is no talking anteater in my Kingdom, not even in the old Kingdom underneath."

[do-me-a-solid.livejournal.com]

"The Hook I knew lived in the Old Kingdom. Drove a golf cart looking thing around down there. I had half a mind to fall asleep on his bed a few times."

[doctor-hook.livejournal.com]

"So do I. I hitch a ride on the orderlies' cart most times though. It's convenient to live on-site, and not like the space was being used for anything else."

Hook's bachelor pad in Rigshospitalet was more realistic than less impressive than his American counterpart's, granted. He'd have been jealous of the American had he seen it. He'd also have wondered where the hell the American was getting all this stuff. Appropriating underused equipment was one thing, misappropriating funds quite another. He wouldn't have approved.

[do-me-a-solid.livejournal.com]

"So I'm curious as to how you ended up here. I followed someone through a set of doors in the Old Kingdom, did something similar happen to you?"

[doctor-hook.livejournal.com]

"I died," Hook answered flatly.

He happened to be wrong about that. But that was a different story, and one Antubis might not be able to tell, given that whatever body Hook wore here probably wasn't the same as the body currently lying paralyzed in a coffin back in Copenhagen. No disease for Antubis to eat.

[do-me-a-solid.livejournal.com]

Antubis looked taken aback, whihc in his case meant the end of his snout turned up and his eyes squinted. Hook didn't smell dead.

"Well, that does seem to be a pretty reliable way to end up in a new universe, Wesley. Usually."

[doctor-hook.livejournal.com]

"Guess I'm lucky not to be haunting the Kingdom too, eh?" Hook gave a slow headshake. "You know, there was a ghostly dog back at the Kingdom. He went with Mary. I think he was the ghost of a dog that had been hers. I don't recall any anteaters. Are ants all you eat?"

[do-me-a-solid.livejournal.com]

Antubis wondered for a moment if the dog was another guide like himself; it was rare for two guides to run into eachother. Whoever was controlling things made sure that didn't happen often. Something about the fabric of reality getting torn. Antubis hadn't really payed much attention.

"The dog's name didn't happen to be Blondie, did it? As for the ants, I can't help that its what the biology of this... thing I am likes, but I dont mind. I could eat something else if I really wanted to." He showed off a mouth full of impressive teeth.

[doctor-hook.livejournal.com]

"If the dog had a name, I don't remember what it was," Hook admitted. Antubis' dentition was really something. If Hook had begun to remember the dog's name, seeing those teeth chased everything right out of his head.

"I thought anteaters didn't have teeth. Of course, you're not actually an anteater ... Hey. Maybe the dog's name was Wesley." This was almost certainly not the case, Wesley not being a Danish name, but Antubis had just called him Wesley, and Hook wanted to see what was the deal with that. "Or Ringo," he added.

[do-me-a-solid.livejournal.com]

Its a shame it wasn't the same dog. Antubis liked Blondie; he was a good helper.

"Wesley, Ringo, Cail, Eternal Champion, Keeper, Shunketsu, Low Men, The White Lodge. They're all basically names for the same thing, and you, Helt, are one. You smell different."

vote: Gryffindor

[doctor-hook.livejournal.com]

Helt. Danish for hero. Oh boy. Hook had to laugh, because he couldn't help it; it was the only reaction to the anteater's statement he was capable of having. The laugh was not much more than a tired chuckle.

"No rest for the wicked, huh? I should have known life after death wasn't going to be a walk in the park. All right. You let me know what you need me to do when the time is right, Mr. Anteater."

You do me a solid, I do you a solid. The anteater's credo might be in slang unfamiliar to Hook, but the essential concept came through loud and clear. It was Hook's own modus vivendi, really. His Kingdom had been a network of favors owed and favors granted, an invisible strong web connecting the people he knew.

"I'm voting you into Gryffindor. House of heroes, I'm told. It's not my house, incidentally. I'm a Slytherin."