The Unpopping of Tamaki Suou

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

POP!

Takami is used to sound effects accompanying the things he does - thanks to the regular auctions and calendar sales, the Host Club's budget is extravagant even for an Ouran society. He's more familiar, however, with the flutter of harp strings, or cascades of roses, or sparkly little noises to go with real sparkles.

'Pop' is a new one. Perhaps Renge has uncovered some new device within the Music Room. Tamaki opens his eyes.

Tamaki screams.

There is - this is - he is covered in butter! He is in a room full of cabinets full of popcorn! Is this supposed to be their next theme?! What on earth was Kyouya thinking?!

"Kyouyaaaaa!" he wails. "Haruhi! Daddy is very upset! What is going on?!"

((No, he doesn't remember anything about Hogwarts. Come and bug the Idiot Lord of Ouran! XD))

Comments

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"Scotland," A agrees softly, somewhat taken aback. "I don't know about kidnapped. No one I've talked to said anything about kidnapped." He thinks for a moment. "You might be dead, though."

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"Of course I'm not dead! Are you a member of Nekozawa-sempai's group? Oh - of course not, if we're in Scotland. But if I have been kidnapped -" which could totally have happened! "- my friend Kyouya's family has it's own private army! So it won't be long before I'm back at school. And if Kyouya comes with him we can go touring again! Have you see it?" He throws an arm wide, taking in the scenery outside the window.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"Who?" A's not sure which name he's asking about. But the sound of 'a private army' is alarming. "Why does he have an army?"

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"A schoolmate of mine. He's president of the Dark Magic Club. And Kyouya is a member of the Ootori family," he says, clearly expecting this to explain everything.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

It doesn't explain anything, of course, and A stares at him in blank confusion. But one thing sticks, of course.

"Dark Magic? Is that like hexes? I'm learning hexes."

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"Hexes and curses and ghosts - Nekozawa-sempai is fascinated with things like that! It's a shame," Tamaki continues, his face taking on a tragic expression, "because he is physically perfect for the 'prince' type! Even if uninterested in becoming a host, such an appearance is a gift!"

He touches his fingers to his forehead. It really is a tragedy.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"I don't understand," A murmurs, frustrated, trying to piece together what Tamaki means. "Prince? Do you make films? I'm, there's something I'm not getting."

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

Tamaki bounces over to A, gesturing flamboyantly. "I am founder of the Ouran High School Host Club. Our members cater to the specific needs of our clients, which involves categorizing them into various types: the prince type," he sweeps a hand down his front, indicating that this is his own type, "devil type, cool type, wild type, loli-shota type and so on. Do you see?"

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

A potential explanation occured to him. "Do you mean prostitution?"

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

Tamaki gasps, pressing his hands to his cheeks. "No! No, the Host Club seeks to entertain and bring fortune ladies, not - not..." He flushes bright, bright red.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"Could you explain the difference?"

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"I - we --" Despite being seventeen years old, Tamaki is terribly niave, and he flushes even harder. "We protect and service beauty, and help to bring princesses together with the men that are important to them! We don't do anything that would - cause them shame, or --"

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"But doesn't service mean... am I misunderstanding the context? You... bring women together... with men to service them..." Terminology! That must be it.

"Oh! You're not a prostitute, you're a pimp! I'm sorry. I've never met a pimp before."

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"Nonono!" Tamaki flails a little, waving his hands. "I don't mean - we offer companionship and entertainment! Tea! Dance parties and culture fests! And not everything we do focuses on romance; we helped to reunite Nekozawa-sempai with his little sister!"

Tamaki would normally be more effusive than this, of course, but he's genuinely shocked.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

It's cultural, A decides, one of the many things about human interaction that he just doesn't understand and perhaps never will. "I didn't know people did that."

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"... did what?" Tamaki asks, a little fearful of what terrible things this person will mention next.