The Unpopping of Tamaki Suou

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

POP!

Takami is used to sound effects accompanying the things he does - thanks to the regular auctions and calendar sales, the Host Club's budget is extravagant even for an Ouran society. He's more familiar, however, with the flutter of harp strings, or cascades of roses, or sparkly little noises to go with real sparkles.

'Pop' is a new one. Perhaps Renge has uncovered some new device within the Music Room. Tamaki opens his eyes.

Tamaki screams.

There is - this is - he is covered in butter! He is in a room full of cabinets full of popcorn! Is this supposed to be their next theme?! What on earth was Kyouya thinking?!

"Kyouyaaaaa!" he wails. "Haruhi! Daddy is very upset! What is going on?!"

((No, he doesn't remember anything about Hogwarts. Come and bug the Idiot Lord of Ouran! XD))

Comments

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

Once more...I can do this once more. I put my chocolate bar in a pocket and grab his shirt. Butter...nasty. "Look, Tamaki, you are not at Ouran High school anymore. There is no host club here. There may be a dark magic club, for all I know, but I've not heard of anyone named 'Nekozawa-sempai.'" I pull him close. "Understand?"

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

Whoa! Tamaki is not used to being manhandled in this way! He flails a little, trying to get out of Mello's grip.

"Of course I'm at Ouran! How could I not be?" His eyes widen. "Have I been kidnapped? Kyouya's family have a private army! They'll come after me, you'll see!"

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I let him go. I look at my hands. Disgusting. "Apparently, you have trouble comprehending simple words, so we'll try it this way." I get in his face again. "There is no Ouran!"

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"Of course there's an Ouran! I've been attending Ouran since I moved to Japan!"

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"This is Scotland, idiot. There's a window over there. Go see if it looks anything like Japan." Delusional, meglomania, hysteronic....The list keeps going.

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"S-Scotland..." Tamaki goes white - very, very white - and walks mechanically over to the window and peers outside.

Mountains and trees and lakes, as far as the eyes can see.

Tamaki is quiet for a very long time.

Then he spins around. "This is wonderful! Mountains! Nature! Kilts! Caber-tossing and ceilidhs and ruins! You!" Yes, he's pointing at Mello again. "You must show me!"

Kyouya was really far too accommodating when Tamaki first arrived in Japan. He's come to believe that he will always have a (seemingly) willing guide around new countries.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"No." Simple enough. Should work.

Probably won't.

"Fuck no," I add for good measure.

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"... no?"

Tamaki wibbles.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

Oh, he got it the first time...almost.

"No," I repeat firmly. It's hardly my fault this idiot just assumes everyone is going to do what he wants.

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"... please?"

He sniffles slightly.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"Are you deaf? I said no, I will not show you around Scotland." No point asking if he's insane. That's well established.

"I'm going to wash my hands." I turn and leave.

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"But I'm covered in butter!" Tamaki wails, running after him. He's not sure how this is going to convince Mello to take him around Scotland, but it must count for something!

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"And?" Like I care. I continue walking, ignoring the fact that he's following me.

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

Tamaki either ignores the fact that Mello is ignoring him, or simply does not realise it.

"Can you at least show me where the showers are?" Showers first; Highland tours later!

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I ignore him. If he wants to follow me, fine. I'm not going to encourage him.

I turn into a bathroom and head to the sink. I need some chocolate.

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

A bathroom!

Tamaki leaps joyfully towards one of the sinks, rolling his sleeves up.

"Thank you, Mello-sempai! Water! I can wash some of this butter off now~!"

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

If I leave quickly, there's a good chance he won't find me again. I forgo drying my hands and leave quietly while he is still splashing about.

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

Tamaki doesn't notice Mello leaving, as he's just dunked his head right into a sink brimming with water.

Water never hurts a handsome man, after all!

He shakes his head to get rid of some of the water, intending to share this piece of wisdom with his new companion...

... and notices that he's gone.

"Mello-sempai?" Tamaki calls, a little forlorn.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"What about Mello?" Near had been half-looking for Mello, but mostly was just taking a walk. He'd wandered by the popcorn room out of curiosity; after all, last time he'd been there, he'd encountered L.

And now someone was asking about Mello. Was it someone he'd known in the Mafia?

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"He's gone!" Tamaki exclaims, still dripping with water and looking lost. "He was going to show me around the sights of Scotland!"

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Er. Have you known him very long, then?" Near definitely doesn't recognize Tamaki from Wammy's (and he honestly doesn't sound the type). And giving tours doesn't seem like a Mello thing.

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"Only a few moments. I found myself here not long ago, and Mello-sempai introduced himself and showed me to this bathroom! I was covered in butter," he explains. "He also told me that I am now in Scotland!"

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"You've only just met him, then?" So he was either dense or naive. "If I were you, I would not expect him to be a tour guide. And yes, you're in Scotland."

[kotatsu-tono.livejournal.com]

"Will you show me, then?" Tamaki gasps. "How rude of me; I am Tamaki Suou." He presses his hand to his chest and bows.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"I'm Near." He looks skeptically at the young man before him. Somehow, he seems very young. "I haven't been here for terribly long either, and it's a big castle. I'm not a very good choice of tour guide."

That, and he doesn't want to.