Application for Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist)

[the-hawks-eye.livejournal.com]

A prim, blond woman walked into the sorting room, a black dog at her side and a rifle strapped to her back. She looked around, her eyes searching the room, stopping when they fell upon a quill and sheet of paper.

"Application?," Riza asked aloud, before sitting down to answer the questions on the sheet of paper before her.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"What kind of question is that?", she asked aloud, and then wrote simply:

Parmesan.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Riza frowned. This kept getting stranger and stranger- she didn't even know who those people were. And she didn't particularly relish killing people either.

So, she wrote,

I would only kill one of them if they were about to kill a friend or fellow soldier.

3. What time is it where you are?

Riza lifted her wrist and gave a cursory look at her watch.

17:06

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"I don't know who these people are either," she muttered under her breath.

I'll leave the harassing to my commanding officer, Riza wrote, a thin smile crossing her face.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

The Hawk's Eye, she wrote quickly. That was an easy question, at least.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

"Harry, Fred, and George? Is this some kind of logic problem?," she murmured. Mythology, unfortunately, was not her forte- she knew next to nothing about it. This particular question took her a few minutes to answer, and in the end, she ended up leaving anything about mythology out.

If he's having such a hard time deciding, then pehaps he should marry neither of them.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Riza scowled at that question- it hit a little close to home. "Mustang?," she asked aloud, "Did you write this?"

If this is all Mustang's doing, then I'm the one putting it there and you had better not be disposing of it behind my back.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

I've been in the Amestris military for nearly ten years, served in the Ishbal war as a sniper, and was involved in overturning the military government in Amestris five years ago.

Best to keep that last part vague, she thought.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Riza sighed and patted her pockets for something to offer as a bribe. All she had was her guns and a few cens in her pockets and she wasn't about to give up the former.

I have a few cens and some bullets to offer, she wrote.



I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. RH
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. RH.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. RH.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. RH

Comments

[the-hawks-eye.livejournal.com]

"No real reason to leave?," she asked, "You'd think he would be trying to get home everyday."

[miniskirtsplz.livejournal.com]

"Well, if I were him, I wouldn't be worried about leaving," Roy said, giving a quick shrug. "He has the people who are important to him here, and it doesn't cost us anything to stay here. It's a good setup, really."

[the-hawks-eye.livejournal.com]

"Don't try and convince me that we need to stay here, sir," Riza said sternly.

[miniskirtsplz.livejournal.com]

"I'm not- All I'm saying is, it could be worse. Apart from some... very strange people, it's really not that bad here."

[the-hawks-eye.livejournal.com]

"We have friends back home, work to do. Are we going to give that up?"

[miniskirtsplz.livejournal.com]

Roy sighed and shook his head. "No, of course not. But if we can't get back right away, we might as well get comfortable here."

[the-hawks-eye.livejournal.com]

"I-I guess," she said in defeat. "Where are you living?"

[miniskirtsplz.livejournal.com]

"I have a room in one of the four Houses here. Well, there could be more than four, but I think only four of them are important. People will be voting you into the Houses." Really, he thought it was only fair she get some sort of warning about what was going to happen.

[the-hawks-eye.livejournal.com]

"I take it they aren't real houses," she said, looking around at the stone walls of the castle.

[miniskirtsplz.livejournal.com]

"Right," He paused, and decided to leave the bit about the Hat out. He doubted she would believe him unless she saw it for herself, and he didn't feel like having her glare at him any more. "Anyway... what were things like after I left?"

[the-hawks-eye.livejournal.com]

"Business as usual. I thought you'd managed to get leave without me noticing."

[miniskirtsplz.livejournal.com]

Roy had to grin at that. "We both know that would never have happened. If I had tried to leave you would have caught me and piled me down with even more paperwork."

[the-hawks-eye.livejournal.com]

"You act like I'd never let you take leave," Riza said, grinning softly.

[miniskirtsplz.livejournal.com]

"Well, maybe you would," he returned, glad to see her smiling. "If I was finished with all my work and promised to be good."

[the-hawks-eye.livejournal.com]

"Maybe," she said, still smiling.