Attention world: I am suffering writer's block and this application isn't very wordy, etc. etc. etc.

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Munster cheese. I just do.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Carrottop. Definitely.

3. What time is it where you are?
I don't own a clock. It's dark out.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Gross.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
'Who Am I and how did I get here?'

I thought it was funny.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Fred and George should end up together?

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Because you bite on to more work than you can chew?

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I can't.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I have nothing to offer except for a few dust bunnies an empty bottle of stoli? I have my guitar too but you sure ain't getting that.

Comments

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

Hey! You're ... just as monotone in application form...

Didn't expect to be seeing YOU here any time soon. How the hell you been, man?

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

It happens when I get bored.

Nothing new. What about you?

[onesixtyfourth.livejournal.com]

Squib. Your application makes the world want to die and commit suicide on itself.

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

Hey, it happens.

[waste-lock.livejournal.com]

...too boring for the hammer, even. Squib.

[m4rk-cohen.livejournal.com]

He's not boring. He's just. Not... very ... vocal. About anything.

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

...Are you sure you really want to be here? You seem rather apathetic so far.

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

I'm not apathetic. I just need something to do.

[abccity-angel.livejournal.com]

Roger, honey, your application's Dullsville, but I'll still love you. *blows kiss* Nice to see you hear, darling!

Hmm. Slytherin.

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

Well I didn't know there was much to say about how I like cheese or hate Carrottop, so I didn't say much.

But we'll see how this goes.

No animosity to you, of course.

[basilisk-lord1.livejournal.com]

Goddamn! What is with the boring idiots today?

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

This is bullshit!

[unforetold.livejournal.com]

Your boredom is catching.

Would you care if I squibbed you?

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

What about asking me a question that doesn't involve cheese?

[green-n-buttery.livejournal.com]

Mark said you get more interesting when you're drunk. Ravenclaw. They might be able to help.
And he was kinda sweet when he was obsessed. Really weird, but sweet.

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

Most people are.

[lucifer-tiamat.livejournal.com]

Squib.

No. Just no.

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

No? I'd expect you to be more articulate.

[basilisk-lord1.livejournal.com]

Why do you think he deserves to be in Slytherin? I must have missed his ambition in the blank spaces of his application.

[old-sluggy.livejournal.com]

That was the most singularly uninteresting application I've ever had the misfortune of reading. You're definitely not worth this school's time. Squib!

Bitchiwitch

[ewoodhouse.livejournal.com]

You are rude to your judges, take offense when it is not called for, insult the application rather than seeing is as a creative challenge, and, overall, behave in a presumptuously entitled manner.

I am tempted to squib you, but Mr. Cohen has vouched for you repeatedly and far be it for me to separate two friends. Although my good sense cannot allow you in one of the four dominant houses, I believe you will fit in marvelously in Bitchiwitch, Gryffindor's evil twin sister house.

[fantastic-rose.livejournal.com]

*She sighs and chews on her lip a bit, frowning.*

Your friend Mark is falling all over himself to defend you. And you seem to be loyal as anything to him. Deservedly so, should be thanking him on bended knee, yeah?

I'm gonna say you should be in Hufflepuff. You say you're not useful, but at least you've got a smart mouth on you when people get nasty with you. And like I said, loyal to your friend.

Not a bad dancer, either.

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

Why thank you.

[damien-thorn.livejournal.com]

Slytherin. I think you have potential.

[basilisk-lord1.livejournal.com]

Where?

And here I thought you'd help to uphold the traditional values of Slytherin House by taking in any that are actually worthy and who show us the trademarks of the House.

[spiritoferos.livejournal.com]

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

At least that heart isn't ugly.

[kurse-all-seeds.livejournal.com]

Really, child, you kould at least make an effort. Even Leonhart was more charming than you, and Hyne knows he has no social skills whatsoever.

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

My apologies.

[catremistrae.livejournal.com]

Hufflepuff, I guess. I don't know where else to put you.

[5000yearold.livejournal.com]

I'm falling asleep reading this.

Squib

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

Ah, my condolences.

[ginevram.livejournal.com]

*with an very curious smile*

Hello, there. I'm Ginny. You sound a little cranky. Is there any particular House you'd like to be in?

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

Not really? Whichever house you see fit.. Gryffindor sounds okay.

[alucard-tepes.livejournal.com]

Brevity has its merits, especially with the ADD crowd, but it's hard to sort you without having any grasp on what your personality is like.

You actually respond to comments, and I suppose that's proof enough you want to be here in whatever capacity. So, my vote's for Bitchiwitch.

Vote: Gryffindor

[ginevram.livejournal.com]

Mr. Hat, my vote on this one is Gryffindor.

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[ewoodhouse.livejournal.com]

My dear Ginny, I just wish for you to know that you are one of my dearest friends within these walls, and I hold you in the greatest esteem. Under no circumstances will I ever lose respect or affection for you due to your choice in vote.

[don-voldie.livejournal.com]

Quite frankly, it's doubtful this idiot will be squibbed at all. Ergo, my vote is for Bitchiwitch. Let him rot in that house rather than any of the four.

[closeonroger.livejournal.com]

Gryffindor would be nice.

[ninjaoftheramen.livejournal.com]

You're more boring than that stupid Sasugayke!

[icchan-nyoroyo.livejournal.com]

Hufflepuff. You claim to not be useful, but you obviously seem attached to that guitar for a reason, so you either enjoy bonking the brains out of elementary school children or playing.

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

((*pictures Roger running around smacking elementary kids and dies*))