Application: Ruby, "Fullmetal Alchemist: The Valley of White Petals"

[palewhiteand]

Ruby frowned as she looked over the application she held. Magic school? What in the...

It couldn't hurt to answer the questions. When in Creta, do as the Cretans do, or so the saying went. She sighed and proceeded to answer.


1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"I'm not a big fan of cheese," she replied, "but I do like blue cheeses, mainly because they look funny. Honestly, they all taste the same to me."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Ruby frowned. "Well, considering I don't know who either of them are, you'd have to give me a damn good reason to kill either of them.

"Now, is this a magic school, a culinary school, or an assassin school? What do these questions have to do with anything?"

3. What time is it where you are?

She blinked and considered skipping this question; it seemed useless. "I don't have a watch on me, but it's about one in the afternoon, isn't it? What does it mean 'where I am', anyway?"

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them?

Ruby scratched her head in confusion. "As for how I'd do it, well, if I was returned from the dead I guess I'd be stumbling around trying to eat their brains or something. I don't know who I'd pick, though, 'cause I don't know what this Order of the Phoenix thing is." Under her breath, she muttered, "But unless any of them are Alphonse Elric..."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"It's so dark that any mortals who heard its name would die from utter shock."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Sigh; more namedropping of people she'd never heard of. "How about these Fred and George guys just get married to each other? Then Harry wouldn't have to worry about it. Never studied any mythology, but I'm pretty sure the Tortoise and the Hare backs my point up pretty well." She rolled her eyes.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I'm constantly disposing of it.

"Because whoever's been assigning it has noticed you haven't been doing it, of course. Don't be so lazy and maybe you'll actually get somewhere. Maybe if you spent more time on your paperwork and less time on stuff like this so-called application..."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Ruby tapped her chin in thought. "Well, I was one of that creep Raygen's security detail back in Wisteria. It took a lot of skill to keep those bandits out of the village." Then she smiled. "Also, I can cook."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

She grinned broadly. "Equivalent exchange, huh? Well, let's see-- I don't have anything physical to offer, but if any of you need a bodyguard, I'd be glad to offer my services." Absently, she flexed one of her arms. "I'm pretty strong, if I do say so myself."



I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ~*Ruby*~
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ~~**Ruby**~~
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ~*~Ruby~*~
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ~*~*~Ruby~*~*~

Comments

[fm-elric.livejournal.com]

Ed eyed the newcomer cautiously. He'd never met her before (even though she had met him in a different but very nearly the same universe as his). He could pass for the older brother of the Ed that Ruby knew, easily. He was taller, thinner in the face, and most telling of all, wearing a golden wedding band on his left ring finger.

"Equivalent exchange?," he asked supsiciously, "What do you know about that?"

[palewhiteand]

"Equivalent exchange is the principal that alchemy works on," she replied, frowning. He looked so familiar, but he couldn't be Ed; he was too... well, tall, for one thing. "I thought everyone knew that."

[fm-elric.livejournal.com]

"..You know about alchemy? Where are you from?," Ed asked suddenly.

[palewhiteand]

"Wisteria," Ruby answered. No, he couldn't be Ed; Ed would have recognised her, after all. "I'm pretty sure you haven't heard of it, though; it's a little remote.

"Who doesn't know about alchemy?"

[superelric-bros.livejournal.com]

"Brother, who're you talking to?," Alphonse asked as he walked into the sorting room, "Are you hiding from Winry again?"

Ed turned around and looked at Al strangely for a moment. "Oh- um-"

[palewhiteand]

"'Brother'?" Ruby repeated as Alphonse walked in. "Ed, is this--"

[superelric-bros.livejournal.com]

"Hi, I'm Alphonse," Al said brightly, "I see you've met my brother already."

"Yeah, she has. And this," he jerked his thumb at Ruby, "Is apparently your girlfriend."

[spiderthatwaits.livejournal.com]

"I'm not mortal," said Selvetarm, currently in a rather smart-aleck mood. "Even if I were, no one dies in this place. What's its name?"

[palewhiteand]

"Not mortal? Someone's got a lofty opinion of himself," Ruby remarked, wondering if she should comment on what was apparently a gaudy costume. "What do you mean, nobody dies? Just because nobody has doesn't mean nobody will."

[spiderthatwaits.livejournal.com]

"They don't. Not here. I arrived after someone cut my head off on Toril." He brought two fingers to his neck, indicating its current intact state. "So what is it named?"

[palewhiteand]

She frowned. "I don't believe you -- it doesn't have a name, silly, it doesn't exist."

[pullo-xiii.livejournal.com]

Pullo looked her over critically. Bodyguard, she'd said. Load of cac, is what that was. Bodyguards were best when they looked like him, big and threatening, not some skinny little girl. "So by 'bodyguard,' what d'you mean exactly?"

[palewhiteand]

"My town was a major target for bandits," she replied. "Our job was to guard the entrance and keep them out. Some of the better ones, like me, got assigned to personally guard the mayor and carry mail out of town for him."

[pullo-xiii.livejournal.com]

Ah. So she was a messenger, not a real bodyguard. "Bandits, eh? Did you get rid of them?"

[palewhiteand]

Oh, if he only knew. "Of course not. People who wanted into my town were people who had nothing else to lose. We held them back, though."

[chance-silvey.livejournal.com]

Resisting the temptation to ask what the hell the Tortoise and the Hare had to do with anything, Chance crumples up her copy of the application and squares her shoulders. Time to get some mileage out of this Sorting.

"Hey. You're not from around here, right?"

[palewhiteand]

Other than the fact that it was the first myth-slash-fable to come to mind, it had absolutely nothing to do with anything.

"No, I'm not. I'm from Wisteria in southeastern Amestris."

[chance-silvey.livejournal.com]

Excellent.

"You ever hear of something called a liopleurodon?"

[dungbombsrule.livejournal.com]

"Ok, let's see." Ron had moved to a different part of the table, after he had finished voting for Caprica (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1498896.html?thread=75855632#t75855632)

He read it up to the Gryffindor question, and then looked up with a grin. "Right, about marrying my brothers off..."

[palewhiteand]

Ruby laughed sheepishly. "I had no idea until you told me and Caprica. Sorry about that."

[dungbombsrule.livejournal.com]

"Really, at least one side needs to be able to cook. They'd never move out." At this point, Ron had given up trying to change the question of the application, though sometimes he had to be offended for his family's sake if things got too out there. He smiled anyway and moved on through the application.

"Hey... you were a bodyguard?" He looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. "No way! I mean, no offense, though. I'm just- Did you like it?"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"I don't need a bodyguard! I have Hat magic protecting me at all times!" the Sorting Hat boasted. "What else do you have for bribe purposes? Anything toothsome and sweet?"

[palewhiteand]

Even after everything else, Ruby was still a bit unsettled at the talking hat. "Well, as I said I can cook a little. Do you, er, eat?"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"That depends on what you're cookin'," the Hat said, in a way perhaps too suggestive to be expected from a piece of animated millinery.

vote: Gryffindor

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Gryffindor!