Unpopcorning Homestar Runner

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"So where are we, anyway?" Homestar asked, looking around. He had just come out of a room full of popcorn, and he seemed to be in a long hallway. "And what's with all this butter?"

There was no answer. Homestar had some trouble with his R's, but it had never stopped anyone from talking to him before. Perhaps a bit more encouragement was required. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong with butter. Just…on popcorn, you know? Not on me. Cause then it's kind of gross."

He waited; still nothing. "I need, like, a shower or something. Maybe you could just point me in the direction of Marzipan's house? Or the nearest hose?"

Silence. Homestar frowned and glared suspiciously. "Hey, are you making fun of me? Cause that's getting really annoying. I have a wand," he held it up and made little tapping motions, "and I know how to use it. Seriously." A pause, then, "Whoa! Where'd I get this wand? I don't remember getting a wand." He had vague memories of some kind of school. And a hat. And Homsar and the Pea Soup guy were there.

"Am I in Oz?" he wondered, looking around again. He didn't yet seem to have realized that he was talking to a wall.


((Sorry, could someone help me out with Homestar's tag? It's not letting me add one myself.))

Comments

[sbisawesome.livejournal.com]

!!!

Bad enough Homsar was a professor here. Bad enough fhqwhgads roamed the hallways. Bad enough the Cheat had turned traitorous. Now came freaking Homestar, who'd been safely consigned to the realm of Bennedetto (http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Frank_Bennedetto)-fodder the last Strong Bad knew of him.

Was he here to recruit for the Homestarmy? Or to start up a Hogwarts chapter of the Broternal Order of Different Helmets (http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Broternal_Order_of_Different_Helmets)? Whatever it was, it was sure to chap Strong Bad's hide and ruffle his feathers. If he had feathers. Which might be totally awesome.

"What the crap are you doing here?" he demanded of the pantsless one, arms akimbo, boxing gloves planted on his globular hips.

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"Oh, hey, Strong Bad!" Homestar exclaimed, in complete disregard of the tone. "Fancy meeting you here. I was just talking to this nice fellow," he gestured amiably at the wall, "about dunking Wizard of Oz DVDs in butter and throwing them at the crab people." He nodded sagely.

[sbisawesome.livejournal.com]

"Bzuh -- whazza -- crab people?" Strong Bad spluttered.

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"Where?" Homestar demanding, looking around wildly. He started to take a step, possibly to run away from the brain-sucking crab people, but slipped in the pooled butter and landed on his head. "Ow..."

[so-strong-sad.livejournal.com]

"Oh, hey, Homestar." Strong Sad had been ambling by when he saw an old acquaintance on the ground. "Have you been on the floor this whole time?" he asked nonchalantly. Strong Sad certainly knew what that was like, and the quick glance he gave over to Strong Bad demonstrated just that, for Strong Bad was often the cause of Strong Sad's lengthy sojourns on the floor.

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"Nah," Homestar replied, trying to get to his feet and failing miserably. "I was just running from the crab-sucking brain people." He frowned. "Wait..." Then he slipped again and the thought was lost. "Have you guys seen Marzipan? She forgot my twenty bucks again, and I'd kind of like to get rid of all this butter."

[so-strong-sad.livejournal.com]

"O~o~ohhhhhh, the crab-sucking brain people," Strong Sad said knowingly. For some reason, this made perfect sense to him. "Anyway, I hear it costs a lot more than twenty dollars to get rid of butter these days. It's very oily, you know."

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

Uh-oh. Homestar reached his feet again and gave Strong Sad a slightly frantic look. "Well, how much more? Cause I left my wallet in my other pants, and I all I got's this wand." He gave it a listless wave, and what appeared, at first glance, to be several twenty dollar bills (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v280/shadesdarkeyes/homestarbrandtwenty.png) fluttered onto the floor.

[sbisawesome.livejournal.com]

Could it be Homestar Runner had finally done something useful? Strong Bad scrambled for the money. It was like Homestar was a pinata, except Strong Bad hadn't gotten to beat up on him, and really it was the wand that had released the money, but hey, Strong Bad just liked envisioning Homestar as a pinata.

"Finders keepers, losers -- wait just a minute." About to denounce the false currency, Strong Bad swiftly reconsidered. Maybe people around here wouldn't know the difference. People were stupid. Heck, The Cheat accepted pencil shavings as currency!

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

Homestar was completely unperturbed when Strong Bad stole his fortune. After all, they were friends, and Strong Bad wouldn't be taking if he didn't need it. Or Homestar owed him for something. That happened a lot, too. He tried waving the wand again, but all he managed this time was a very confused duck. "Hey, this is kind of fun!" he exclaimed, completely forgetting about the butter again.

[so-strong-sad.livejournal.com]

"Not as fun as my emo poetry slams. Or self-immolation," Strong Sad remarked matter-of-factly, watching the duck waddle around.

[sbisawesome.livejournal.com]

... Oh crap. Wasn't one fhqwhgads (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/854405.html?thread=41184389#t41184389) bad enough without Homestar creating MORE?!?!

"You're just making yourself look worse, you know!" Strong Bad addressed the duck, with false bravado.