Unpopcorning Homestar Runner

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"So where are we, anyway?" Homestar asked, looking around. He had just come out of a room full of popcorn, and he seemed to be in a long hallway. "And what's with all this butter?"

There was no answer. Homestar had some trouble with his R's, but it had never stopped anyone from talking to him before. Perhaps a bit more encouragement was required. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong with butter. Just…on popcorn, you know? Not on me. Cause then it's kind of gross."

He waited; still nothing. "I need, like, a shower or something. Maybe you could just point me in the direction of Marzipan's house? Or the nearest hose?"

Silence. Homestar frowned and glared suspiciously. "Hey, are you making fun of me? Cause that's getting really annoying. I have a wand," he held it up and made little tapping motions, "and I know how to use it. Seriously." A pause, then, "Whoa! Where'd I get this wand? I don't remember getting a wand." He had vague memories of some kind of school. And a hat. And Homsar and the Pea Soup guy were there.

"Am I in Oz?" he wondered, looking around again. He didn't yet seem to have realized that he was talking to a wall.


((Sorry, could someone help me out with Homestar's tag? It's not letting me add one myself.))

Comments

[assmeat-hunger.livejournal.com]

It was quiet, yes. The entire hall may have laid in silence. Perhaps unharmed. Perhaps innocent.

BUT NOT FOR VERY LONG.

Tenna came karate-chopping through the air, kicking out a foot with a big, "AIIIEEEEEE," and... knocking over a suit of armor. "Shit!" She managed to catch the helmet before the entire display toppled to the ground, the suit of armor becoming very protested to having fallen to the floor, in a wheezy sort of voice. Oops. So much for being STEALTH LIKE BULL.

Or was it like a mouse? Maybe an otter. ...Bulls weren't very stealth.

"I DEMAND TO KNOW YOUR ALLIANCES, SIR," she shouted nonetheless, brandishing the helmet like a weapon and widening her eyes at... was that a marshmallow? At Homestar, okay.

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"Twenty dollars a week!" Homestar announced. She had said allowance, hadn't she?

[assmeat-hunger.livejournal.com]

Oh. Damn. That was pretty badass.

"WELL, I SAY THAT, CRIMINY, BY JOVE, YOU IS -- Twenty whole dollars? Really?" She brandished the helmet at him - rather menacingly! - and furrowed her eyebrows. "Suspicion is nigh!"

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"Yep!" he replied brightly. "Except Marzipan's always forgetting to give it to me, so I have to get it myself. And then Strong Bad usually needs to borrow it for something."

[assmeat-hunger.livejournal.com]

This guy shared alliances? Sheezy, what an amateur. ...Unless he was talking about the money. ...Tenna wouldn't share money either - twenty bucks was quality Chinese food money, man. "That is rather indubitably strange," she pointed out, letting the helmet dangle from one hand as she pointed an index finger towards Homestar.

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"Hey!" Homestar protested. "I am not indu-indy-in-ah-duh...whatever that word is!" He jabbed angrily in her direction with his wand. After a moment, he gave a coy little "hmph" and turned away, tucking his wand beneath an invisible arm (http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Lack_of_Visible_Arms). "You're just jealous because Strong Bad doesn't want to borrow your twenty dollars."

[assmeat-hunger.livejournal.com]

Indubitably WAS a rather large - and admittedly complex - word. Tenna was slightly surprised she knew it. EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE SHE WAS A JEENYUS.

"Who's Strong Bad? Why's he after my money?" Tenna demanded, removing her wallet from her trench coat pocket as the helmet fell to the floor with a rather loud 'clang'. She waved around her arms a bit, wallet clutched in her fingers and eyes wide. "YOU'RE AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS."

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

Funny; she didn't look like a tiny green leprechaun. "Why would I want your Lucky Charms?" Homestar pointed out in a completely reasonable voice. "Those things taste nasty."

[assmeat-hunger.livejournal.com]

Well, to be fair, her pants were green. But, yes, she was a little tall to be a leprechaun. Tenna was still waving her wallet around over her head, fixing Homestar with a conspiratorial sort of look. "Are you kidding? They taste of gods! If gods could poop out marshmallows!" Which they totally could. "Shun the non-believer. For serious."

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"Lucky Charms are bad for you," he explained. "I am an athlete, so I have to stay on a strict diet of bacon and Mountain Dew."

[assmeat-hunger.livejournal.com]

Mountain Dew was pretty awesome, even Tenna would agree. It was really the pee to the Lucky Charms marshmallow poop of gods. Still. "Bacon? It's all stringy and bacon-y and such. And comes from pigs. PIGS. Would YOU think of pigs as a prime example of a healthy athlete? I THINK NOT."

[spinmybuzzer.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," Homestar said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Speaking slowly, as though to someone stupider than he, "That's why we eat them." Then he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Hey, you're not one of Marzipan's veggie-torium friends, are you?"

[assmeat-hunger.livejournal.com]

Buh? Did he just seriously suggest that? Vegetarian! Tenna?! "I am offended, sir!" she yelped automatically, waving her arms around like a windmill and sending a few pennies flying out of her wallet. "An apology is demanded at nigh!"