![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Toki peers out of the Hufflepuff doorway and takes a cautious look around. No lobsters. Good. He's been virtually locked in his room for a while, absolutely terrified that the horrible, horrible crustaceans were going to attack him at any moment. But he's run out of booze, and that has to be fixed. He skitters down the hallway, keeping a wary eye out, and in a stroke of luck finds the Little Green Apple open.
Chiana is leaning back in her chair, pleasantly buzzed on a combination of margaritas and something or other in the hookah, she didn't catch the name. But hey, as long as it works, the name isn't important. She's busy using a hatchet that she had snurched from outside to carve a vaguely obscene drawing in the table.
Toki grabs a beer, chugs it, grabs another, chugs that one, and starts trying to stuff them down his shirt. No way he's letting anyone take it from him between here and his room. But his attention wanders over to the sound of the carving, and then he notices that the girl doing the carving is gray. Not pale, gray. With... really weird eyes. "Is you some kinds of cat lady?"
Chiana jerks from her carving and attempts to hide the hatchet. "Nah, I'm a Nebari. Chiana. All that beer for you?"
"Neeebree." Toki sounds out the unfamiliar word, mangling it as usual. "Yeah, I runs out. I'm Toki. Hufflepuff perfect." He points at the hatchet as best as he can with the armfuls of beer bottles. "Where you gets that?"
"What, this? Outside." She grins. "Pretty drad, huh?"
"Hatchets is metal," Toki agrees.
"Hey, wanna see something cool? Bet I can knock one of those bottles off your head with it."
Toki is not blessed with an overabundance of wisdom, nor is he completely sober at the moment. "I bets you a hundred dollars you can't!" And he sets an empty bottle on his head. Miraculously, it stays.
"You're on, 'stache boy. Watch." Chiana aims carefully, throws, and the result is about what you'd expect when drunks play with weapons.
And so it is that Chiana, dragging a squalling, panicking Toki with a hatchet in his forehead, blood pouring down his face, and beer soaking his clothes, arrive in the Hospital Wing.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 06:11 am (UTC)"Bad day?"
Quickly, effectively, Carla moved forward and started to escort Toki towards a bed, her eyes already starting to examine the wound.
Oh, this was fun.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 06:20 am (UTC)"You said I could!" Chiana yells right back. "If you hadn't tried to grab more frelling beer, I would have hit the frelling bottle!" She's livid. And sort of panicky. She hasn't actually hurt anyone physically in over a year, and while she missed the thrill of kicking the dren out of some deserving idiot, this was completely unexpected.
"YOU OWES ME A HUNDRED DOLLARS!" Toki yells this in more realization than any actual desire to get paid.
"The frell I do, fekface!" Yes, this is going well.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 06:25 am (UTC)Beaming as Toki and Chiana ran into the Hospital Wing, House followed after them, video camera already recording.
"Is it my birthday?" He asked brightly, rudely shoving himself in the midst of the group just so that he could get a good close-up shot of the entry wound. Now this was entertainment!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 06:34 am (UTC)Ignoring the arguing, she managed to wrestle Toki into the bed. "Okay, everyone here needs to shut up!" Glaring at everyone, she muttered curses in Spanish under her breath, trying to get an IV of pain potion into Toki's arm.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 06:39 am (UTC)Chiana, whose buzz is seriously being harshed by all this, isn't complying as well as Toki. "Frelling idiot," she mutters in Toki's general direction. Turning to House, she grins. "Hey, make me a copy?" Because seriously, the least that she can get out of this is a video of a moron with a hatchet in his head. "I want that back, you know," she tells Carla. "But not if he has diseases. Does he have diseases?"
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 06:44 am (UTC)He hadn't even really noticed the other chick, but when she asked for a copy, House smirked. "Sure thing," he nodded, and then glared at Carla. "Hey, do you not see the entertainment value of this? Would you stop working for one second so that I can get a good shot? Good lord."
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 07:04 am (UTC)"You," she pointed at Chiana, "I'm assuming are responsible for this little trip into home plastic surgery? I think that you're done playing with sharp things. Now sit down, shut up, and wait until it's your turn to talk."
Whirling on House, her expression only got more scary. "Listen, Ed Wood, either take that camera about eight feet away or I swear, I'll make sure you get intimately acquainted with the taste of film." She smiled. It was not a happy smile. "Got it?"
Then she finally got to focus on the patient. "Answer the woman. Do you have diseases?" She picked up a chart and started writing. "Or any allergies?"
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 04:38 pm (UTC)"You owes me," Toki tells Chiana mutinously. He thinks for a second before answering Carla. "I think I got diabete. And I thinks I might be cursed by lobsters. Is that a diseases?" He scratches his head in thought, looks at the blood on his hand, and then starts screeching again.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 04:48 pm (UTC)The door to the back room banged open and he stalked out, coat flying behind him like a white cape. "Just what in the hell is going on out here?" he demanded furiously, his eyes wide and
crazyangry. "Because I swear to God, if someone isn't dead, I may start killing people myself." He stopped suddenly when he saw Toki, but he seemed more annoyed than alarmed. "What in the hell did you do?"no subject
Date: 2007-07-16 12:29 am (UTC)Anyway, a house elf had alerted him that Toki had gotten injured, causing him to rush, or try to rush with a limp, to the hospital wing. He slipped through the door, not saying anything, just watching, making sure Toki was all right.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 05:31 pm (UTC)Whirling around as Cox entered the room with a bang, Carla simply huffed out a sigh and narrowed her eyes. "Do not," she told him, seemingly apropos of nothing. Then she looked over at Chiana. "Actually, I don't care what you were doing. Obviously sharp objects and alcohol were involved, which is all I really need to know. What your particular kinks are regarding axes to the head are really not relevant, medically. But thanks for the info."
Then, switching her attention back to Cox, she said, "Male, apparently mid-thirties, blunt force trauma to front of scull with hatchet still embedded, lucid, ambulatory, no allergies, claims to be diabetic but no other medical conditions. I've started 20ccs of the pain potion in an IV." She handed Cox the chart and awaited further instructions.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 06:17 pm (UTC)Chiana glares, mutters something in Nebari under her breath that doesn't sound particularly pleasant (not that it's a particularly hard impression to give off--Nebari is a weird-sounding language to human ears.)
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-18 02:08 am (UTC)The question was largely rhetorical, because it was not exactly hard to SEE what was going on, but he was slightly mollified when Carla handed over the chart. "Goo~~d girl. Now shut up, shut up, and shut up," he told the other three. "And..." He turned to House with a frown, holding the chart against his chest. "I'm gonna go ahead and give you a preemptive shut up, Gimpy, and don't you dare turn that camera on me or so help me I will choke you with a plastic bag."
no subject
Date: 2007-07-18 02:15 am (UTC)Smirking slightly at Cox's rant, Carla bustled around the bed. She started to clean up the area around the hatchet so that Perry would have a clear field to work with. "Are you just going to," she made a sound effect like ripping off a bandage, "yank it out?"
Then she glowered at Toki. "Listen to the strange lurking man. No beer. Beer is what got you a freaking ax in your head."
no subject
Date: 2007-07-18 02:39 am (UTC)Toki starts hollering again when she hears Carla talking about yanking the hatchet out. "That's what I need fucking beers for! If you's goings to pull it out, I think I needs vodka instead!"
no subject
Date: 2007-07-18 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-20 06:01 am (UTC)Now sufficiently bored with filming Toki's head, House directed the camera over in Cox's direction, and fiddled with the zoom - zooming it directly up his nostril from a few feet away. House snickered to himself quietly. Well, he had to amuse himself somehow.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-20 07:09 am (UTC)Carla's question was a pretty good one, though. He wasn't actually sure what he wanted to do about this. Yanking it out would mean a ton of blood and possibly exposed grey matter... but what was the alternative?
no subject
Date: 2007-07-20 07:21 am (UTC)Then, turning to Cox, she huffed out a breath and folded her arms. "Any day now, doctor. Unless you think the hatchet brings out his eyes?"
no subject
Date: 2007-07-20 07:30 am (UTC)At Carla's question, House glanced up from his video camera, and pulled a mockingly innocent expression. "I'm just a janitor, miss! Hurr. Though you should probably get an x-ray to check that he hasn't damaged his corpus callosum. I hear that's an important bit of the brain," he said, obviously extremely bored with the patient. "Or just make him play some music; if he can't, congratulations! He's got brain damage!"
no subject
Date: 2007-07-20 02:56 pm (UTC)He whines a little, like a scared animal, as he comes to the conclusion that the hatchet has scrambled his brains. Though he's not too scared to look curiously at the new doctor, "Cox" (mentally, he snickers at that) and say "But I gots this in my head before you's here."
House manages to put him back in scared-mode. Oh hell, what if he can't play anymore? What if his brain is so scrambled that from now on he can't remember what finger actions make what sounds? It's not like he can read music. They'll kick him out of Dethklok and then he'll go hungry and die, and worst of all they'd all laugh at him! Especially Skwisgaar! That is just un-fucking-acceptable. So once again he, panics. Loudly. "You tells them to fix my brains!" he screams at Ofdensen. "I don't wanna get kicksed out and die!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-21 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-26 09:46 pm (UTC)"Now THEN." He turned back to Carla without missing a beat. "Carla, would you please get Mr. Axe-face here an x-ray while I go ahead and owl our resident crackpot surgeon in the hopes that since he's got so much experience opening skulls, he might be able to do something about fixing this one." He grinned nastily. "Otherwise, we~~~ might just have to go ahead and break out the Krazy Glue."
With a crack like thunder, he clapped his hands together. "Now GO!" And with that, he stalked for the back of the Wing.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 12:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 01:07 am (UTC)Bad moods were kind of like kuru. They spread. Whirling on Ofdensen, Carla snarled, looking twice as scary as Cox's crazy eyes could ever hope to. "You. Leave. Now. Because if you do not, one of three things will happen. The first is I will rouse the crazy red-headed Witch who is currently sitting in the back making a potion and who gets very cranky when she gets interrupted for no good reason, and I will have her come out here and wave her magic wand and turn you into an asparagus, which I will then cut into a thousand pieces and scatter out the window for the owls to eat."
She took a step forward, digging out her own wand and muttering a long, complicated incantation - one of the few she knew, actually - towards Toki, starting the magical x-ray thing. Then her eyes snapped back to Ofdensen. "Two, the good doctor will come back out here, see that you've not left, and, in a fit of rage, pick you up and hurl you out the doors. Or, finally, I will just get so annoyed that you are disrupting my Wing, that I'll just wave this wand at you and say whatever random words come to mind. Somehow, I think that'll be the most dangerous. It's also the most likely, as you are working my last nerve. Now get the hell out so we can fix your friend. NOW."
Then, dismissing him with a cold glare - she had no doubt he'd obey her - Carla turned back to Toki to finish up the x-ray.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 01:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 01:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-27 01:59 am (UTC)But seeing as they were actually going to start doing something soon, House's attention span waned, and promptly cut out. Eh, there were better things to be doing. Shutting off the camera, he leaned over to Carla. "I'd invest in a better bra, Wonder Woman," he winked mockingly, "Those puppies are perky, but they might get in the way of pulling sharp objects out of skulls."
Whistling jauntily, House promptly made his way out of the room. But not before using his cane to shift the nearest stool into the doorway, hopefully just so that somebody would trip over it.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 05:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-30 12:56 am (UTC)Then, exhaling a breath, she rounded on Stephen with a too-bright smile. "And who the hell are you? Because I've had it up to here," she indicated the top of her head, "with people wandering in here like my patient is some zoo animal on display. So if you're not here to help, could you do me a favor and get out? And drag that idiot with you." She jerked her thumb at Ofdensen. "Because he is working my last nerve."
Grabbing the parchments with the x-ray images, Carla patted Toki reassuringly once more on the shoulder before heading to the back to get Cox.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-30 09:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-31 03:05 am (UTC)"Carla," he continued, putting a hand on her shoulder, "this is my esteemed colleague and fellow drunk and crazy person, Dr. Stephen Maturin. Doc, this is Carla-from-the-block Espinosa, our new nurse. And this," he went on, rounding on Toki, "is Axe-guy. He has an axe in his head."
no subject
Date: 2007-08-01 04:18 am (UTC)which isn't a whole lot, especially when he has his stuffed bear, which he wishes he did right now. "And he's my managers," he says, pointing at Ofdensen. He glares mutinously at Cox and Maturin. "If you guys is gettings drinks, I needs some too." The fact that having drunken doctors attempting to remove a hatchet from his forehead is probably not a good idea seems to elude him.no subject
Date: 2007-08-01 05:25 am (UTC)She glanced up at Cox as if to say 'see, look, I'm playing nice', and handed him the x-ray. Then she pointed at Toki. "No one is drinking. Least of all the men who will be operating on you. Just sit back and let these two doctors work their magic."