[App: Lieutenant The Honourable George Colthurst St. Bartleigh (Blackadder Goes Forth)

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

George didn't know where he was at, but he knew one thing: This wasn't the big push. He had been running toward the Germans, and then he ran into the wall here.

"Well, now, that's a strange sort of thing."

Then he noticed the application, and the people mingling about.


1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Oh, I like all sorts of cheese, I certainly couldn't pick just one.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Those are certainly peculiar names. If either of them are German, I'll kill them, right off! Right after tea.

3. What time is it where you are?

It was time for the big push, and it was dim and foggy out.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Oh go on! Me? I'm a perfect gentleman! I would never shag a girl without her permission!

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Oh, I don't know, The Trench or The Big Push or Captain B's. But then, that's probably something Captain Blackadder would name it.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Oh, why would he marry me? Oh come on! I wore a dress one time, but that doesn't make me a girl!

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

You must be Captain Darling, then. He's got loads of paperwork!

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

I'm a soldier, fighting for the glory of my country! I'm also a really good painter, even if Captain Blackadder said he painted it. And I make a good female, if General Melchett thought I actually was a girl.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Oh! Uh....*rifles through pockets* A few tiddlywinks, my helmet! But I seem to not have anything.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. G. St. Bartleigh
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. G. St. Bartleigh
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. G. St. Bartleigh
One day, marmalade will rule the world. G. St. Bartleigh"

Comments

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Oh, now this was just weird.

House could deal with magic people, and people that thought they were from the future, and people that absorbed energy through their skin. But a dude that looked like him was just not on. Especially since this guy spoke in a particularly annoying British accent, and looked strangely... upbeat? House was sure he'd never been that happy looking. Ever.

He couldn't even think of anything to say, so he just stared, rubbing a hand over his chin in half bewilderment, half clinical amusement.

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Well hello there! Wonderful day, today, right? Say, you look a tad familiar to me..."

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

"If, by wonderful day, you mean 'the strangest day on earth when an unsuspecting victim is suddenly confronted with a moronic clone', then yes, it's say it is a wonderful day," House scowled.

[stylish-nebulon.livejournal.com]

That Hufflepuff answer really made Nebulon think. His eyestalks perked as he sang:

"Spaceboy, you're sleepy now
Your silhouette is so stationary
You're released but your custody calls
And I want to be free

Don't you want to be free
Do you like girls or boys
It's confusing these days..."

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Why, that's almost as good as Baldrick's poems. Still eerie that Blackadder knew the ending of one."

[ditzy-aphrodite.livejournal.com]

Looking at the newest application, Aphrodite found all the answers highly amusing. This was definitely a guy who had a mind she could appreciate!

"Hi!" she bubbled, the words sparkling as she spoke. Literally sparkling, with the sparkles floating away on her breath. "Would you like to be a girl?"

Because, y'know, that would be all kinds of awesome. There were so few people here she could get all girly with.

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Oh, no no no! I'm perfectly happy as a chap!"

[ditzy-aphrodite.livejournal.com]

"Oh." Aphrodite seemed slightly down at that, but soon cheered up again. "But you've dressed up as a girl before? Want to do it again? I, like, could find just the outfit to suit you!"

If he didn't want to be a girl, then a guy who liked dressing up as a girl was nearly as good!

[semper-fi-house.livejournal.com]

John had had no intention of visiting the Sorting Room. He'd just been passing by. But he saw someone out of the corner of his eye that made him stop in the doorway and do a double-take. That... was definitely his son. He looked a bit younger though -- John wondered what he'd done to do that. Perhaps it was just that he'd shaved his beard. John had thought for a long time his scruffy, unshaven look made him appear not only like a bum, but like an old man.

But in addition to the simple act of shaving, Greg had... apparently donned a military uniform and a British accent. What the hell did he think he was doing?

Clearing his throat, John stood for a moment, frowning and glancing about himself uncomfortably. Then he strode right up to the so-called applicant and said without preamble, "What the hell are you trying to pull, Greg?"

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Greg?" George looked confused, then his face lit up. "Oh! Do you mean that nice chap that looked like me?"

[semper-fi-house.livejournal.com]

John narrowed his eyes and stared at the man for a long moment, silent. He had no idea what to make of this situation -- but then, things hadn't really made much sense in general since he'd arrived in this place. Still, though. This... was unexpected.

He chewed this inside of his cheek thoughtfully, appraising this man -- up close, it was even more obvious that he was younger than Greg should be now. He glanced sideways, as if looking for an answer somewhere else in the room, but came up with nothing. Still, Greg keeping up a ridiculous act, a mockery of the military (and somehow managing to de-age), seemed an easier explanation to grasp than the idea of multiple Gregs. John decided to humor him for the moment, but let it be known that he did not approve, in case it really was Greg.

Clearing his throat, he said, "'Nice chap?'" He snorted. "Now there's a phrase you don't here connected to him too often. If you mean my no-good son, that is." He looked away as he spoke, and folded his arms. "Thinks he's funny but really, he's just a pain in everyone's ass." By the end of this pronouncement, he'd managed to convince himself that he was in fact speaking to Greg, and so he turned back to him and said seriously, "Drop the act, Greg. It's not cute."

[chimchimcherroo.livejournal.com]

Bert sometimes spent hours just sitting in the Sorting Room, drawing pictures or dancing or twiddling his thumbs. It was an entertaining place, and he liked meeting people. This new bloke seemed like a very nice, cheery sort of fellow, so Bert went right up and introduced himself.

"Cheers, mate! Name's Bert." He tipped his hat at the man politely.

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"I'm George! Lieutenant George to my superiors, but we seem about equal, so just George!" Said George saluted.

[chimchimcherroo.livejournal.com]

"Lieutenant, eh? Aww, I reckon that's a class above me, sir. I'm just a sweep." He smiled and then added, "And a street musician. And a screever. And I opened a kite business the other day, actually..." He shook his head, dismissing that thought and smiled at George.

[jewboy-wonder.livejournal.com]

Didn't sound like House. Didn't smell like House. But God almighty if it looked like... a younger House. And given this school, the possibility of a younger version of somebody from another universe or whatever popping up out of the blue? He was sure it wasn't too far-fetched an idea.

Wilson couldn't help but stare for a few long seconds, as if he expected the jolly persona to crack and the guy to start snarking at all of the surrounding people. ...No? ...Maybe it wasn't.

Don't stare, Wilson, it's rude.

"So... painting?"

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Oh, yes! Even painted the cover of King and Country once. Course, the captain said he did it, but really it was me. Haven't really gotten much time to paint, and with limited supplies as well, in the trenches, though."

[jewboy-wonder.livejournal.com]

This was so freaking wild. Wilson didn't even know what to say, beyond the millions of questions suddenly building up behind his teeth as to whether this was, in fact, House from that alternate dimension. No, he couldn't ask that, he'd sound absolutely nutty. "Oh, yes, well. I can imagine that would do that to you," he commented lightly, furrowing his eyebrows. "Trenches? What string are you?" If he was in the military, though... no way that could be House, right?

[daxtastic.livejournal.com]

"May I ask why you find the Germans so offensive? They're a perfectly docile nation." Her earth history was just a bit off, Dax.

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Well the terrible Huns want to take over the world, kill all the men, and rape all the women! They're vile, not like we British." Eh, sounded good to George. Honestly, he doesn't know why they're fighting the Germans, only that they were and had to.

[daxtastic.livejournal.com]

"I'm fairly certain the Huns weren't German. Are you fighting in any particular war, or is this more of an informal skirmish?"

[sponge-girl-x.livejournal.com]

Rogue boggled for a second. "You remind me of someone. Except... happier. What've you got against the Germans?" I mean, she had known one crazy German, but it didn't make her hate the whole country.

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

..........that was a good question. Why were they fighting the Germans, anyway?

"Well, because they are evil, and want to kill us all..." Even George didn't sound that convincing.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"Ooh, a helmet? Has it seen a lot of action? Is it dashing?"

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

George thought for a moment. "Well, yes, I suppose it can be. Just tilt it right...." he tilted it at a jaunty angle, "and it can be dashing. And I've had it since I joined up, so it has seen some action. I've even had barbed wire on it once to disguise me."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted.

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