HH_mirror

Of course, this make me curious. I'm free whenever you want me.
Jack

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Swing by the common room after dinner.

Murph

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And she ended up in the common room after dinner, pretending to study and really fiddling with something in her pocket, over and over again, trying to pretend she wasn't.

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Not long after dinner Jack did indeed show up in the common room, spotting her he wandered over.

"So what's all this about, you know I'm very happily taken." Take that comment as you liked.

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"That's half why I'm talking to you." She sighed. "Dresden and I are having... an issue."

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"An issue?" Jack couldn't help the slight smirk as he found a chair to sit. "An important issue? Or would that be lack of such issues?" It could go either way, either it wasn't happening or it was and things could be improved... That's right Jack's mind skipped normal things and just considered sex.

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"Severe lack of an issue. In that we've been trying really quite hard to have an issue and have, to date, failed utterly. Not for lack of, er, performance. Just really terrible luck."

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"Oh." It was an all knowing oh at that. "Well, I see the problem. Make your own luck. Time and place and all that, forget it, grab them and go for it. Wherever." Jack laughed. "This place is fantastic for it, empty classroom, cupboards, closets, under tables..." He grinned. "Any opportunity needs to be seized. Literally."

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"We have." She sighed. "That's the problem. Under the stairs. Off to the bedroom. In the common room with a ward up. The Room of Requirement, empty classrooms....that's the problem, Jack. We have."

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"So what then?" Now he was very curious. "How can you not." It was just not making sense for him.

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"Things keep happening!" She brings out a journal she's been keeping. "See, here we were in an empty classroom and a fire started just outside. Bookshelf fell on Harry here. This time, Bob got kidnapped. I got sick, here -- long story, bad potion. This time we got interrupted in the common room and when we went back to his, we got locked out. And then when we went back to mine we never managed to GET there." She turns pages as she talks.

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"So is it only when the two of you or... just you? I mean we could try something to see if whatever it was tried to stop us..." He could explain to JD it was all in the name of helping out a friend.

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She gave him an eyebrow-raised look. "No, I don't think that's a good idea. But thanks for the offer."

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"Okay, still stands anytime." Jack smirked. He was very giving. "So if not that how else can I help?"

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"You ever been married?"

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"I am still..."

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"... sorry, right. I'm not much in keeping with the personal lives of my coworkers." She rubbed her eye. "I've been married twice. Both times, they proposed to me. Both times it was a surprise. I'm starting to wonder if three's lucky."

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"Three, four..." Jack stopped. "Wait, don't tell me you're thinking of getting married to end this?" Jack had to admit, that was something new. "It means a lot to you. Huh." Jack smiled, more it was an odd little look, he got mostly thinking about how lucky he was.

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"Well, that was where it started. Old chastity charms used to get broken on a wedding day. But now I'm starting to think, well... it's about the first time I thought of something in our relationship and didn't quietly panic."

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"If you're not panicking about it, then maybe, just maybe you're doing something right." Jack put his head to one side. "I used to panic about being kept in one place, just wasn't me, now me and JD, it's the best thing I've had. It's to the point I'm not even scared about kids, to the point I kinda want one." He looked at his hands a moment. "Have you talked to him about it all?"

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"That's sort of how I felt. And if I knew we'd stick around forever, I don't even think there'd be a question." She leaned back in the chair. "Not yet. I'm trying to get my head on straight before I throw this at him." She rubbed the back of her neck. "I want to be able to answer anything he asks me, first."

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"Fair enough, but I can't help you with that, best advice is just be honest, tell him you're not scared. I love you works too." Jack laughed quietly. "Whatever happens wish you all the best with it."

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"Thanks. You're the first person who reacted sanely to the idea. Which -- no offense, Jack, really -- is just a little scary." She laughed too.

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"What?" He was surprised at that. "Really? Have to ask now what've other's said?"

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"Well, they wouldn't stop telling me to stop thinking of it as a solution to the problem. Which isn't what it is, anymore. I appreciate being taken seriously, but it went from that to a lecture as if I was a teenager to outright insult."

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"Oh. I know what that's like. Some people said me and JD shouldn't have done it, made him miserable. Haven't spoken to them since, though it wasn't everyone. My choice anyway, said we'd fail, but we're as happy as we've ever been."

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"That's comforting." She gave him a little half-smirk.

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"I'd say they were transferring their own failings onto others, but that's me." Jack smiled. "Do what makes you happy and him happy. Shouldn't have that taken away."

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She nodded a little and actually relaxed back into her chair. "Thank you. Really."

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"Thank me? What for? I only told you what I thought." He stood up. "I'd better go walk the dogs, check they've not destroyed the room too." He grinned. "I expect an invitation." Jack winked before turning away.

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"We'll see." She gave him a smirk and nodded. "Have a good one."

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Murphy ~

Right. Well, so long as I'm not going to get hexed if I laugh, I'm excellent at keeping secrets. Fire away.

~ Lily

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Lily:

Have you ever heard of a curse to keep two people from consummating a relationship? I think Harry and I are under one.

I'm considering proposing to him to try to break it. Yes, I am that desperate.

Murphy.

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Murphy ~

Well...I'm not laughing, at least.

Look, I... Far be it for me to tell you what's best for your and Harry's relationship. I don't know - I'm not there with you, I don't know how you feel about each other, I can't look at you two and know what's in store for you. But I have been married. I have been in love, deeply. And the life that you and Harry have chosen is bloody hard enough without adding in the stress of a marriage you're not absolutely certain about. When it's right, you're going to know. It's not going to be an act of desperation. It'll just be the only possible next step. You'll both realize it, together; being married - trust me - is no guarantee of anything but the fact that you're married. You don't automatically have more sex. In fact, the opposite is more likely true.

Marriage is hard. It's work. And it's not a solution. If you are having trouble making things work in the shagging department, I have three suggestions. But I'm begging you, Murphy, as a friend, and as someone who cares deeply for Harry, do not be so foolish as to throw a lifetime commitment out there to cure an itch.

The first thing you need to do is...well, bloody do it. Lock the door. Shut the windows. Have at. I'll teach you a few locking charms as well as some privacy wards and muffling spells if you like. But there is no hex that would cause this problem - unless it's a direct physical thing, in which case, I have a lotion. But make time. Plan for it. Allow yourself to shut out everything else.

The second thing goes along with the first. If you and Harry just don't seem to be connecting, there is a reason. And it's not magical. Believe me, I know the frustration you're going through. But the only way to solve it is to be honest. One thing I learned being married through a war - if you want to shag your partner, you'll find time. You'll find a way. So if you're not, then there's probably a reason. Someone is holding back. Maybe both of you. Maybe for the same reasons. Sit down with Harry and talk things through. Be open and honest. It's really the only way you'll ever get anywhere.

Also, if you're looking for something to jump-start the sex, I highly recommend Jenga. Professor Homsar might be willing to give you two tips. Just...be careful of the bowler hat. Apparently it's an erogenous zone. Oh, and there's something called Tubby Custard... If you're really desperate, you might look into that. I don't really understand it, but I've heard things.

I wish you luck. If you want to talk, you know where to find me.

~ Lily

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Lily:

Thanks for the advice, but you're not quite seeing the problem. We have just done it. Locked doors. Set dates. Spontaneous or planned, something always gets in the way. Bookcases fall over. Fires start. People interrupt by banging on the door and not leaving.

You have no idea how much ice I've been chewing, woman. It's damn absurd. We even had Bob 'kidnapped' once and had to go sort that out, and by the time that was done... hell. I've even slept in his bed, hoping things would be peaceful in the morning.

No dice.

I have a journal. I've been keeping a journal, and you've got to see this thing. You have no idea how ready we both are. Believe me, I know how ready Harry is. We've gotten that close. We just haven't managed to get it DONE. It's got nothing to do with performance and everything to do with a universal cockblock.

The only thing I've found in all the books is that there's a celibacy charm that used to function as a sort of chastity belt ages ago, and it'd be automatically broken by a valid marriage.

And god, Lily, this isn't just marriage for the sake of sex, although right now there is very little I wouldn't do to get Dresden naked. It was the strangest thing -- when I read that it might be the solution, I didn't panic. It might be the first time I've ever considered some part of my relationship with Dresden and I didn't panic. It seems like a sign.

Murphy.

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Murphy ~

Well, again I say - there's no such thing, in my experience, knowledge, or depth of research, as a magical cockblock. Bad luck hexes, yes. Hexes to make someone clumsy or accident prone, absolutely. But not to keep two people from having sex. It's too difficult. The act of sex requires two willing partners and it draws on forces much deeper and more instinctual than magic can touch. It's the reason that love potions are temporary and why, given time, even the strongest lust charm will fade. Whatever resonates one human to another is simply too pure to be affected by magic.

I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if you both want it and you both are ready for it and it's still not happening, there's something you're not dealing with. You need to sit down and talk it through. This is something that won't have a quick fix - believe me, I know. But it's the only way. You can't cheat on things like this. Magic isn't a cure all, nor is it a catch all for blame. There is something in your relationship you need to work through.

I wish I could wholeheartedly congratulate you, but I'm sorry, Murphy, I can't. It's wrong to approach marriage as a solution to a problem. It is not that, ever; in fact, you'll simply create more issues than you'll ever solve. If you've read of some sort of hex that has marriage as the means to break it, then that's not only something I've never heard of, but delves into dangerous territory with its implications. And how in Merlin's name would you have even gotten such a curse attached to you? It doesn't make sense. Sex is just sex. If you can't have it, if 'things' keep happening, it's merely a symptom of a deeper cause. Treat the illness, not the symptoms, or else the root of the problem will just continue to burrow in.

~ Lily

P.S. If you do decide to try the Tubby Custard, please let me know. I'm compiling notes on it for Evil Clown research.

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Lily:

Great. Hah hah. Thank you for making this all a joke. I hope you and Cox think it's hilarious; I knew I should have just kept this to myself.

Murphy.

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Murphy ~

...Wait, what? I was not joking. Trust me. And I haven't even spoken to Perry today - I'm in my office.

What's going on?

~ Lily

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Lily:

I'm having a very hard time believing that the two of you independently came up with a solution that six months ago neither of you knew existed, and neither of you have tested, and is a new level of disturbing I didn't know existed. Especially when it comes packed with a rather ridiculous lecture.

I'll just take care of this myself.

Murphy

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M ~

Right. First off, you ungrateful woman, I did not ask you to owl me for help. You came to me, and I offered what I had. I'm right, by the way, not that you're listening. You want some magical solution because you're not willing to do the work. Fine. But if you hurt Harry, I swear to Merlin, I will make you regret it.

Second, I have no idea what you're talking about. Perhaps the 'curse' on you isn't a lack of sex but a strong sense of paranoia. My solution for you? Was to bloody figure out what your problem was as a couple and TALK THROUGH IT. THAT was what my entire sodding letter was about. Which, coincidentally, I have lived through, recently, so I know what the hell I'm talking about. Unlike you, it seems. And bloody hell, Perry has nothing to do with what I'm telling you. Nothing. I don't know where you're getting off, but you can just keep on walking. Arrogance - that will hopefully come right back around and bite you in the arse, by the way - won't get you shagged.

Look, you don't want to listen to me? Fine. But don't ask for my advice and then insult me. And don't go off half-cocked and fucking propose, because you have no idea what you'll be getting into. Harry's not the type of bloke who will be able to walk way from you Murphy. Ever. If you do this, and you're not sure, you're both just going to wind up hating one another. Work through your actual issues and stop looking for an easy solution. If you're not willing to do that, do him a favour and walk away.

~ L

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Lily:

This is why I'm irritated, you see.

I've been married. Twice. Both of them have ended. Both of them for their own reasons. Both of them for good reasons, and both times I thought the marriages through.

Both times, I've been deeply in love, though sometimes for reasons that aren't important.

I know what it takes to build a relationship, Lily. I damn well know when to talk, and when to work things out. I've been doing that with Dresden, and it might be the healthiest relationship we've been in in a damn long time. Either one of us. For him, possibly ever, though I'm trying not to judge certain people from our pasts.

This has NOTHING to do with talking things out. I've been trying to make that clear -- either we're cursed, or there's a ridiculous amount of bad luck going on. Marriage is not an easy solution. My call on that was at least half a joke at first, but when everyone started taking me seriously, I started taking myself seriously too.

You lectured me and lectured as if I hadn't just told you that we'd tried all that. Harry and I talk every damn day. We've plotted and planned. We've tried to make things right. We've had dates, spontaneous romantic moments, we've had times when we've all but slogged through a Fireswamp just to try to be closer, to get that last little piece we're missing. Emotionally? We're fine. We're better than fine. We're healthier and more open than I was with either of my husbands. With anyone I've ever known.

Arrogance won't get you respect either, Lily. You really don't know what you're talking about here. All I wanted to know is this: is there really such a curse. Does it exist. You're the one who took it upon herself to assume I had an unhealthy relationship. Is it so hard to believe I know what I'm getting into? That I deeply, simply love him, and that we are every inch in synch? We started our relationship with a soul gaze, and we've only gotten better since.

I didn't ask for your advice when it came to my relationship. I know damn where it was, where it came from, what it is and where it's going -- and all of those things are good. He's my best friend and all I'd really like is for him to be my lover. That's all I was asking. I don't have 'actual issues'. And I'm not going to play games.

So that's why I'm insulted. You can play a wisdom all you want, but you don't have two marriages and a whole history of hell behind you. You've got one young marriage and a blaze of glory, and that's nice, but I have a whole chunk of experience you don't. I've had my own miserable blaze of glory.

And tell yourself you know Harry all you want. I've seen him in times no one else has. In places no one else has, too. And that's mine to hold, and understand, and care for.

I like you, Lily. I do. I think you're a decent lady, and I'm sure you meant well. But what you said was damn insulting, and to get this 'tubby custard' BS as a solution from two people who clearly perceive the problem in two different ways -- well, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I can't help but assume it might be a duck. Call it cop instinct.

Murphy.

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