Open RP: Library Fort

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Time moved... strangely, at Hogwarts, or at least it did for Constable Fraser. Things seemed to blur together a lot more here than they did in Chicago, or even out in the Yukon; which was how it got to be the middle of May before he realized that 1) he'd somehow missed the anniversary of his former partner's disappearance and 2) he'd missed said former partner's birthday for the first time ever.

These two facts were a little distressing, and had made him a little melancholy, but he decided to be pro-active about it. It had been just over two years since he'd last seen Ray the Former, but that hadn't stopped him from making presents for the last two birthdays, and it certainly wasn't going to stop him now!

The library, apparently, wasn't quite as safe a hiding place from the new Ray as he'd once thought, but it was safer than either their room or the Gryffindor Common Room, and he figured if he angled himself just so... A-hah. Positioning himself behind a veritable fort of books and old Quibblers, sitting just so he could see the library door, he set himself down and began to toy with what looked like string and beads and pieces of wood.

He wasn't exactly hidden; he was trying to avoid Ray for the moment, but he probably would have welcomed any other company.

Comments

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Fraser couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at the candy. French fries, he liked. French fries were one of the things he'd decided he liked about city living. Processed candy, on the other hand... God, it even smelled chemical. He could smell it from here. Stale and chemical. "Ah," he said, because he felt like it was the only way to say anything without lying or being impolite.

Reaching out, Fraser took the radish from her and studied it for a moment, twisting it about in his hands, his project temporarily forgotten in the face of stuff to play with science. "Hmm...." He set it down on the table and took out his wand, concentrating hard. A few muttered Latin phrases later, and it did, indeed, turn into ketchup -- one tiny ketchup packet, to be precise. He looked disappointed.

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

"Oh man, I'm being rude." She pulled out another Airhead -mystery flavored, no less- and waved it in Fraser's direction. "Want one? I've got a bag full. There are also gummy worms, and sour patch kids!" And a grappling hook, but that wasn't edible.

"Oh, cool!" Steph poked the packet. It was the genuine article! "Single serving. How convenient is that?" Unless, like Steph, Fraser the type to use a ketchup packet per fry.

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Fraser tried not to look completely horrified and sort of mostly managed. Clearing his throat, he smiled and shook his head. "Ah... that's very generous, but no thank you." He had tasted machine oil that he suspected was tastier than the candies. At least Ray's Smarties had chocolate in them. These were just... well, by scent the only things he could identify were sugar and gelatin. As Ray might say, yikes. "Thank you kindly."

"That's a good point. I was hoping for a bottle, though..." Poking his tongue out between his teeth, he leaned down to more carefully inspect the packet. "Maybe that requires a bushel."

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

"Your loss." She suppressed a smile. "I've even got Mike n' Ikes! The original kind, not the kind with real fruit juice. I don't know why they went and changed a perfectly good formula."

"Looks like. Stupid radishes. Oh!" Steph got an idea, and flipped through her text. "Or maybe you could do an enlargement charm, and then transfigure the wrapper into a bottle."

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Oh, Lord. He gave her his best 'I'm secretly dying inside but outwardly I'm going to pretend I agree with you more than anything in the world' smile; it came across as slightly frozen. "That's quite all right, thank you. I, uh, filled up at lunch. All those French fries."

This was all only because he didn't know her quite well enough yet to lecture her, of course. Once she made it into the inner circle of Fraser, they were having a long, snarky discussion about how it was not really a good idea to put that many inorganic products into your body at one sitting.

"That might work..." He held up the packet, then placed it carefully in the palm of his hand and once more pointed his wand at it. The ketchup grew, until it was big enough to be the envy of all ketchup-lovers everywhere. "Do you want to try the transfiguration, or should I?" He didn't want to monopolize her studying -- he hadn't even come here to study!

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

When one is 17 years old, and teasing befuddled a Mountie, it is very difficult not to giggle. Steph called upon every interrogation (or, bat!terrogation! Yeah, Bruce didn't think it was funny either) technique she could remember, and managed to keep a straight face. "Gotcha. Good lunch choice, by the way." She then pulled out her piece-de-resistance: the Giant Pixy Stick (http://www.oldtimeconfections.com/Count%20Goods/Pixy%20stix%20giant%20size.JPG). She popped the top open, and swallowed a mouthful. Mmm. Grape flavored sugar.

"Why don't you give it a shot? I've already had one successful experiment today. Wouldn't want to go and ruin a perfect average." Plus, she had a giant pixy stick to finish. Damned if it would take her more than five minutes.

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Oh, all right, this was getting ridiculous. It was one thing for Ray to eat like the world's sugar supply had just been hit with an atomic blast and if he didn't act fast there would be none left. Ray was almost forty and had no growth left to stunt. Stephanie, on the other hand, was a growing young woman, and Fraser felt the need to intervene. "I don't mean to be rude, but..." His eyes narrowed on the Pixy Stick like lasers. "You do know that's almost literally pure sugar, don't you?"

"Yes, but if I remember correctly, this is your project. I was working on my dreamcatcher." Still, why not? She could try it too later, if she liked. He concentrated hard for a moment, then tried the spell. It was the first time he'd tried such a thing, but Fraser was Fraser, so of course it went off without a hitch. He beamed at the bottle in his hand, pleased. "Well, then."

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

"Yup!" She grinned. Sugar was one of the best parts of being corporeal again. "Only, it's fruit flavored. So that makes it better for you than regular sugar. More nutritious." Why, no, Steph had never actually taken a course on nutrition. How did you guess?

"Nice one, Fraser!" Steph tapped the bottle. "Solid glass, even." She paged through her spell book, feeling vaguely slackerish for letting Fraser do all the transfiguring. "Oh! Here's one that'll let you alter the contents of a container, without transfiguring the container itself." How useful was that? Next time the Joker tried to toss some Venom grenades into City Hall, she could just set them to explode...pudding, or something. Pudding was better than death! "Mind if I mess with your handiwork?"

[themountie.livejournal.com]

"Actually, that's not really how it works, Stephanie." He had the feeling she was, what was the term? Pulling his chain? But still, it was appalling! "Especially given," he sighed, rubbing a thumb over his eyebrow, "that the so-called 'fruit flavoring' is really little more than chemicals designed in a laboratory to mimic the taste of certain fruits. Badly, I might add, and in some cases with entirely made-up names." He frowned. "I'm still not sure what a blue raspberry is. I've never seen one, have you?" Oh, yeah. Stephanie had engaged the snippy.

Fraser could, however, compartmentalize, and he was delighted over the new transfiguration (no matter how useless it might have been). "By all means, Stephanie, be my guest," he said manganimously, handing the bottle over. Actually, this next one sounded interesting. He wondered if he could use it, next time he came across an impromptu thermonuclear device or a perfume bomb or the like. Or even a gun; changing lead bullets to rubber would certainly be useful...

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

"I sure have! Bright blue." Granted, they were grown by Poison Ivy, designed to induce asphyxiation by swelling the victim’s throat to the size of a watermelon. But still, blue!

Hm. Steph chewed her lip, trying to think of a good thing to change ketchup into. All of this thinking was making her thirsty. Oh. Oh. Best idea ever. She pulled out her wand, and muttered in what was mostly Latin, except for the words 'Orange Soda'.

Steph being Steph, she expected something to blow up. She tried to hide her surprise when the spell actually worked. Two for two! She grinned at Fraser. "So, what are your thoughts on soft drinks?"

[themountie.livejournal.com]

A little nonplussed, Fraser took a mental step backwards. "Really?" He wondered if she was serious. He also wondered if that made him lose this argument. He was a little worried that it did. But... honestly, a blue raspberry?

He actually looked fairly proud of her when she transfigured the bottle. And he was -- he had no particular authority over Stephanie, he wasn't her teacher or her parent or anything, but she was a nice girl and he quite liked her. After their Divination Class (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1258164.html?thread=64081332#t64081332) together she knew more about him than a lot of people at Hogwarts did, actually, so he supposed she'd become something of a friend.

"Well, normally I prefer tea, but a celebration seems to be in order." He grinned, transfiguring two of his beads into cups. "I only ask that you let me rest easy in my firm belief that it's so named because of its color and not its flavor."

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

"Cross my heart. I wouldn't recommend eating them, though. The candy version is much better for you." Which kind of proved Fraser's point, really, but should Poisin Ivy actually ever show up at Hogwarts, Steph didn't want people going around eating her produce. And ew, that sounded a little dirty.

"Not a tea gal, myself. Had an English friend who swore by the stuff." Poor Alfred was always trying to convert to the bat clan to the way of tea. "Pretty cups!" And wouldn't you know it, affection for a new friend aside, Steph could not let orange soda go undefended? "You think? ‘Cause it tastes like the fruit to me."

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Fraser raised a skeptical brow. "In that case, you may rest assured that should I come across such a thing, I will endeavor not to ingest it." To anyone who knew him, those were the clipped, overly-precise and utterly pedantic tones of Fraser Snark -- but, honestly, who could blame him? That was just horrifying. He ate arsenic and he couldn't imagine tasting anything worse than Blue Raspberry suckers. Except maybe Ray's cigarettes -- those were pretty vile, too.

"I think your taste buds have been warped by a terrible diet," he told Stephanie dryly. "But to each their own." He poured the soda out into the cups, then raised one in toast. "To transfiguration. And the Queen, of course."

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

"I am sufficiently rested assured." Steph tried to look serious, but she was so amused! Was that sarcasm? Snark? Perhaps even guff, coming from Fraser? Awesome.

"I'd say that they've been enhanced, with the help of science!" Grin! She toasted. "Of course. Her last album was great." Steph had only one queen, and her name was Latifah.

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Probably predictably, Fraser's face was a mask of confusion. "Her last... album?" Was she talking about It's a Royal Knockout (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It's_a_Royal_Knockout)? Or... A-ha! Light dawned. "Do you perhaps mean the band Queen, with Freddie Mercury, Brian May and Roger Taylor?"

What? Even Fraser could sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody. Who couldn't?

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

Now it was Steph's turn to look Confused as Hell. "Freddie Mercury? That was the guy with the mustache, right? From Wayne's World? With the head banging?" Maybe?

((Reposted, because I realized Fraser didn't mention Royal Knockout aloud! Steph =/= mind reader. Thank God XD ))

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Who the hell was Wayne? And what was head banging? It sounded painful. He blinked. "Well... yes, I do believe he did have a moustache. And he was the lead singer of Queen, not, er, Wayne's World. But what Queen were you referring to, in that case? I don't believe the Queen I was referring to has been involved with the-- the entertainment sector since the mid-1980's."

((No kidding XD Fraser's had enough of mindreading for one lifetime, I think.))

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

"No, no. The movie, not the band. Was Wayne's World a band, too? Like, a cover band? I bet they sucked." She scratched her head. This...this was very confusing. And that was coming from a girl who once fought deadly, gibberish-speaking, cloned midgets.

"Yeah, that's the Queen I'm talking about, too." Steph initially thought Fraser was talking about good ol’ Elizabeth, but it’s not like that queen had ever ‘been involved with the entertainment sector’. Stephanie was surprised that Fraser would drink to a rapper, albeit a very talented rapper. But hey, if that's how things worked in Canada, she wasn't going to judge. "But I don't think it's fair to say her career stopped in the mid-80's. If anything, she's had one heck of a comeback. What with Chicago (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_%282002_film%29) and all. Got an oscar nomination, I think."

[themountie.livejournal.com]

This was a web that was getting increasingly twisted and tangled, and so much of it was going completely over his head. If this had been about, say, East Asian history, or French grammar, or even Shakespeare, he would have been perfectly fine, but popular entertainment -- especially popular American entertainment -- was totally out of his depth. Especially with movies that had come out quite literally after his time. He couldn't possibly be held accountable for things that had come out in his eight years of nonexistance! That just wasn't fair!

The point was, he was hopelessly lost. "What?"

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

Or maybe he was talking about the Queen of England. Did she ever put out an album? Or maybe Canada had a Queen. But the only Canadian royalty Steph had ever heard of Celine Dion, in what she assumed was a sarcastic context. Was Fraser toasting Celine Dion? Why would he do that? Nothing made sense.

"My head hurts." She started gathering up her books. "I'm going to go have some Nachos, and maybe the world will make sense again. How about we pretend the last few minutes of conversation didn't happen?"

[themountie.livejournal.com]

"I.." He shook his head and waved a hand, then brought it to his temples, wincing. "Please, yes. I think that would be for the best." Fraser wasn't even sure what had just happened, but he wasn't sure he wanted to bother picking it out.

As she started packing up, he transfigured his soda into some bark tea and took a sip. "Anyway," he told her, resuming his earlier cheer. "Good luck, Stephanie."

[busty-robin.livejournal.com]

Steph laughed, and flung her pack over her shoulder. "Good talk, then. I'll see ya around, Fraser."

She then left before any party could confuse the other by commenting on pop culture, nutrition, odd foodstuffs, and/or Celine Dion.