Application: Dr. Lisa Cuddy, House M.D.

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Okay, so it wasn't Princeton. At all. Definitely not Princeton, for there sure wasn't a castle anyplace in the vicinity. In fact, Cuddy was beginning to think it might well be House's idea of some joke, knocking her over the head and bringing her to this place, wherever it was. And if that was the case, there weren't just clinic hours in his future, but endless clinic hours.

The paper with a questionnarre of sorts glared mockingly at her and Cuddy narrowed her eyes at it before lifting the pen.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? I'm vegan. Which translates into no animal of any kind, including dairy. Therefore, cheese isn't a part of my diet. House, you're going to have to come up with better questions than this.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop? Why bother? In a few years there'll be another disturbing fad waiting to traumatize the younger and older generations alike. Good enough there, House? What are you going to do, post these around the clinic, show off my wit and penmanship?

3. What time is it where you are? About five, last time I checked. Which also translates into three-hours-past-when-you-were-due-in-the-clinic.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black. I deal with enough sexual harassment on a daily basis from one employee begging for unpaid overtime and a good slap upside the head. I wouldn't want to inflict that sort of trauma on anyone else, so I'm going to say not applicable on this one. Yes, I can feel you staring at my ass. I really, really can.

5. If you are pushing to be in: Pushing to be in where? I haven't any idea. And House, since it's clear you're laughing yourself into a state of delirium right now, why don't you tell me what all this actually means? I'm Dean of Medicine, not playing one of your 'Choose Your Own Adventure' games. Out with it already.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do. Bribes..oh, easiest question yet. Upon my acceptance, I vow to wear no top other than the lowest cut blouse in existance. Yes House, lower cut than the normal. Am I in?

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _LC_
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _LC_.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _LC_.

Comments

[dr-fraiser.livejournal.com]

Janet raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. "Is that last answer really appropriate from a Dean of Medicine?"

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Cuddy's brow furrowed. "Considering this looks to be nothing else than a prank being played on me by one of my employees?" Her resolve was fading a bit, and she was starting to wonder when she could go home.

[dr-fraiser.livejournal.com]

Janet's unspoken tone is along the lines of, With answers like that, it's no wonder your employees prank you. Her actual words were, "I can see you're a bit confused, but I sincerely doubt this is a prank."

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Cuddy's demeanor changed from friendly to administrative with the arch of her eyebrow. "Could you do me the favor, then, of telling me exactly what this is? Because as of now, the only explanation I can come up with is 'unbelievable.'"

[dr-fraiser.livejournal.com]

Great. Knowing that everything she was about to say would probably undermine her credibility as a sane human being, she steeled herself. "Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland. And yes, I know how that sounds, and if you have no clue how you got here you're not alone by any means, but it's no more a prank on you than it was for any of the rest of us."