Very Ordinary Application

[lightof-justice.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
My favorite cheese... Parmesan, probably. It’s a nice cheese, and goes well on anything.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I would kill neither. I am just a normal college student; I have no time for killing. I don’t know what they’re real names are, either.Does the Deathnote work on nonhumans? I must test this later. Note to self: Find a dog about to be put down for mauling someone, and try out the note.

3. What time is it where you are?
11:09 pm and 40 seconds.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
People do not come back from the dead. They just don’t. But even if they did, I wouldn’t want any of them. I’m totally dedicated to Misa... yeah, right.

5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I’m underage, and it would be illegal for me to drink, or, for that matter, serve them, but If I had to… I’d say “Shinigami’s Eye”. As it would be a good place to collect information about the Kira case.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
He should marry whichever one has committed the least amount of crimes; therefore, ensuring their love will have a better chance of not being ruined by the Kira case.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Obviously, you have a notebook with a loose binding, and papers keep falling out of it, and it keeps regenerating new papers inside itself. I suggest removing all notebooks, especially black ones, and giving them to me so I can… dispose of them.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I can’t exactly do that- what’s your name, again? You see, I’m perfectly ordinary, with not very interesting skills- how’s that spelt?- except skills at thinking things through, and other very good skills for a future detective.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I have a lot of fresh apples, if you are interested. I can also offer you my deduction skills... Right wrongs done to you by criminals if you want, by helping you convict them of their crimes. Just make sure to have identification of them- real names and photographs get back to me quickly, or Kira might murder them first. Also my girlfriend is an idol, she has many connectiosn that could be of use to you. And finally, I have these handcuffs. They make a fashion statement, and can appease fangirls.