Application for Damien Thorn

[damien-thorn.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The cheddar from Thorn Industries, of course! We use only the best soy in our food products.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I wouldn't kill anyone. However, it would be a terrible misfortune if my dog was to get loose in the vicinity of either of them. I believe he would go after Carrottop first.

3. What time is it where you are?
6:24, if you must know. I do not care for people who have to rely on others to know what is going on around them.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Harassment is so...crass. I prefer to think of it as enjoying darker forms of human desires. n Pleasure and pain are truly one in sex. Why would I deny this exquisite form of torture to any member of the Order?

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Crown of Thorns.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry should marry Fred and keep George as his lover. When he gets bored with the arrangement, he can swap them out.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You keep putting paper on the desk, obviously.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I am the CEO of a global corporation, an Ambassador, and the Antichrist. I can control animals and the weak minded with the strength of my will. The powers of Hell are at my command. I also throw fantastic parties.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I could offer you your deepest, darkest fantasies and perversions, but I see that has already been done. I strive to be unique, so instead I offer you forgiveness. Your sins are no longer marks on your soul, but instead are glorious praises to my Father. When I take over Heaven, Hell, and Earth, you shall be rewarded for your crimes. For what man's virtues outweigh his sins?

If THAT doesn't work, I ran across a Girl Scout troop this afternoon. You can have the Girl Scouts or the cookies, I don't care which.

If I may, I'd like to offer a few more items to my bribe. I have a small collection of knives, a few extremly rare artifacts, and several antique books on Biblical history.

Comments

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

...'kay. Offer still stands though, if you want one. It's a little unnerving to actually have all seven of them, even though I'm not using them.

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[lord-of-dragons.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Ryuuji, if it bothers you that much, just consider the Rod mine. It already made it clear it still chooses me, even at Battle City. I just don't plan to touch it, use it, or remove it from its current place in any manner.

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

...But there's no point considering it yours if you're not using it to protect yourself. *makes a face*

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[lord-of-dragons.livejournal.com]

I don't want to touch it.

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

...'kay. I'll drop it for now.

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[lord-of-dragons.livejournal.com]

*feels guilty, though, and knows "drop it for now" just means Ryuuji will bring it up again later, until Seto snaps at him to knock it off* Do you really want me to take it that bad, despite the fact I'm vehemently opposed to touching those things?

Re: ::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

I want you to be able to protect yourself properly. Shuriken aren't magical and can't protect you against magic attacks.

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[lord-of-dragons.livejournal.com]

Ryuuji, neither can the Items. The only thing the Items protect you from are attacks from the other Items, and you have all of them, so that shouldn't be a problem. You're not thinking logically here.

Re: ::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

But they're Shadow Magic. It eats energy. You could use Shadow Magic to stop wizard attacks.

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[lord-of-dragons.livejournal.com]

I already have an object that can negate other types of magic, though. I don't need the Items for that, and the Items are too risky. *tempted to take the Puzzle and Rod off your hands, though*

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

...You do? What?

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[lord-of-dragons.livejournal.com]

Well...that Ultimecia gave me a bracelet, along with diagrams and everything. But...I'm not sure if I trust its ability--I've not tested it yet, to be honest.

You're going to make me take the Rod, aren't you?

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

...I'll help you test it, if you prefer that to the Items.

I don't want to make you do anything. If the bracelet works, then fine, you can use that instead of the Rod.

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[lord-of-dragons.livejournal.com]

Thank-you.... I would appreciate that, if you don't mind, Ryuuji.

Really? Still...you just sounded so burdened with them earlier, I felt a bit guilty. I'll take the Rod, because I know it will recognize me. I know it'll let me carry it around without hurting me.

::screened for the Fake Dragon and Real Dragon only::

[dice-addict.livejournal.com]

No problem at all. I just want you to be safe.

Okay, the Rod is all yours, then. Just be careful with Marik.